Alright tiny idea I had I might try it if no one else more talented picks it up, I got this from watching a lot of Lost lately and the idea kind of struck me that maybe this could work as an HP fic after I saw the title for Zennith's new fic.

When Harry was very little maybe around 7 or 8 and living with the Durselys, while taking Dudley out to the mall one day Petunia happened to meet a very interesting man and they got to talking, and eventually they get to do a lot more than talking, a month or so after a good few more "meetings" he one way or another informs her that he happens to be a business man working on a deal and he's almost got all the money he needs to get in on the deal of a life time. She knows she doesn't have any real money of her own but Vernon does from his company and she tells him so they decide that they are going to get Vernon to invest as well. They eventually talk him into it and he uses some of his company funds to invest only to find out on the big day, the mysterious man is gone, the money's gone and its all a sham. Loosing so much of the companies money causes him to get fired and he finds out that Petunia had been sleeping with the con-man so one night in a drunken rage he takes his shotgun and kills Petunia, Dudley and himself in front of Harry blaming all of their misfortunes on him. After the police investigation into the incident CPS (I think thats the Brit version of Social Services Im not sure) places Harry with a new home before Dumbledore and co can interfere and he starts getting bounced around the system which causes them to lose track of Harry.

Fast forward seven years and Harry is living by himself in London and he's taken up a new proffesion, being a con artist and he's good at it not the best but good at always trying to improve. He wanted to take revenge on the guy who took his only family away from him but he knew that he could never manage it without a means to support himself so he took up the con mans profession. However one time he tries to con the entirely wrong person, a one Mundungus Fletcher. Harry manages to get his money and get away but using magic Mundungus manages to track him down and to his ever loving surprise what should he happen to notice in the ensuing struggle but a previously concealed lightning bolt shaped scar on the thief's forehead.

From here author decides how but Harry gets the whole spiel from Dumbledore about how he's the Wizarding Worlds hero and the Chosen One and all that crap but Harry doesn't give a fuck about any of it, what he cares about is solely how he can use the wealth of options that his newly discovered world can provide him to further his own goal of revenge and living the best life he possibly can and by best I mean wealthiest and easiest.

I'm sure any one of the more talented authors here could flesh the whole thing out a lot more than I did here but its a starting point.

 

I'd tap that ass... I mean read that story.

Would Harry even try to defeat Voldemort? Does Harry care about his parents at all? Would the story climax around Voldemort's death (or maybe Harry's death? I don't think there are enough stories out there where Harry dies and stays dead) or around Harry's revenge? How would Harry learn magic? Hogwarts? Private tutoring? Who would Harry try to con in the wizarding world? Lucius Malfoy would be fun to see.

Time for one of my plot bunnies.

The Offspring

A crack fic inspired by the Denarian Variation.

Basically during his seventh year canon Harry finds out that Ginny has been pregnant with his child without his knowledge and has recently given birth. Then he finds out that Hermione is pregnant with his child. That Fred and George made a potions that enables them to have kids so they could collect Harry's sperm and get themselves pregnant.

And so on and so forth. Harry soon finds out that he has dozens of children in the oven and already born.

And then he finds out about the sleeper cell children which were formulated through a magical form of cloning. There are well over 20 000 of these sleeper cell children on an off shore island waiting to be awoken and used as an army against any Dark Lords that threaten the peace.

Finally Harry finds out that Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Molly Weasley, Seamus, Dean, the Creeveys, Luna, and almost everyone on the light side of the war is his child because Dumbledore went back in time and impregnated as many women as he could with Harry's junk.

Harry asks Dumbledore why he has so many previously unknown children and Dumbledore explains that this is the real form of love that the prophecy was talking about. The love of a father for his children.

Then Harry throws a hissyfit and begs Dumbledore to kill him. Then Dumbledore says,

"I'm sorry Harry I can't do that."
"Why not? Please why not?!"
"Because Harry, you are my father."

And that's the end of the fic.

Its stupid but would be fun to read.

 

It's just stupid.

 

Krogan, your plot bunny looks decent, except that I've seen varients on it since forever started. Harry grows up a muggle, before he's 17 he runs into a wizard, gets sucked into magical world. Most of them don't finish, but a fairly-decent one that did was A Life Alone, I believe.

Sofa's plot bunny looks too much like crack for me to take seriously. Obviously it is, but it's just crack to fit a few certain lines in there, which always feels forced.

 

I have been jotting down some ideas revolving around James Potter coming back from the dead. Revolves around the idea of the Marauder's performing some ritual to make themselves blood brothers and the fact that by having Harry save Peter's life a debt is owed. I am working out the the kinks and stuff revolving around that.

The story would start with Harry trying to cast the patronus towards the end of the third book and seeing who he thinks is James. In my story it actually would be James. Would jump an hour previously to James waking up in a coffin, forcing his way out and seeing Tombstones with his and Lily's names on and freaking out. Deciding the best person to talk to would be Dumbledore he apparates to Hogwarts and enters via the front gates. (The dementors by this time are attacking Harry and Sirius). In my mind I have always envisioned, as you are looking at it, the lake towards the left of the front gates with Hogwarts behind, with Hagrids Hut, the forbidden forest and the greenhouses towards the right. None of the silly bridge malarkey from the films. James would evidently see someone casting a patronus by the lake and go to help. He would cast the spell to drive off the dementors but pass out briefly in the process since he hasn't used that much magic in 13 years.

He would wake up after Snape had collected Harry and Sirius and make his way to the Hospital wing, hoping to get Poppy to find out what is wrong with him. In his mind he is still thinking it is 1981, the height of war, and doesn't know why a patronus is so draining for him. He walks in on Snape, Dumbledore and Fudge. Chaos ensues, James and Sirius are questioned under veritaserum and Sirius walks free. James meets Harry, all is well ya de ya dar dar.

I am planning to keep fourth year fairly cannon, except with Sirius getting world cup tickets as compensation. Instead of no death eaters getting caught I think Crabbe will do since there would be three more wizards, two horribly out of practise and Lupin helping out. This will provide a bit more friction between the Slytherin's and Harry during the year. James and Sirius won't be getting jobs as Aurors, mainly just lounging around at Grimmould Place, catching up, recuperating. I am planning for Harry to do slightly better in the Tri-Wizard tournament and have an idea about the Marauders stealing a salamander from Prof. Kettleburn and having to find fireproof charms. Fourth year is fairly similar, I might tell them in a series of mini-episodes from James's view point. There will probably be some ribbing of Harry being so useless with women which may lead to a bit of resentment between Harry and James. I am thinking of having an arc about Molly distrusting James and Sirius to look after Harry and turning up as his family member on the third task.

Fifth year things will start to change. James is likely to become DADA professor which Harry will resent as the other houses will accuse him of favouritism. Umbridge will still send dementors resulting in Dudley and Piers being kissed. This is a ploy to get Dumbledore discredited. James is likely to tell Harry about the prophesy meaning he will be less worried about the dreams but at the same time, perhaps, work a little harder. I can't really think of a way to get Umbridge involved further since she isn't a teacher and therefore less likely to become High Inquisitor.

This is all just a jumbled idea rolling around in my head

 

Apart from the fact that you've just given us the entire plot... It seems workable. A bit childish, sure, but workable. After all, you've got a war set to start up at the end of fourth year and a tournament that everyone has read over a thousand times to try and make interesting.

Doubt I'd read it myself but if you want to do it, go for it.

 

Love it. I actually thought about something similar myself after posting, because even as I was writing I started thinking about Lost, mainly because of the title and the fact that I used the phrase "long con" in the story. You should give it a try, I would definitely read that.

 

Would he take the fake name Sawyer by any chance? And carry around a letter he wrote when he was 8? Cool I've never seen a lost/hp crossover

 

Nah that was Sawyer's thing, if you go that far its just giving Sawyer magic and calling him Harry.

I suppose I could give it a try though. I'd need a beta though if I did write it, any volunteers?

 

I was with you until I read the first quote. The second quote killed it. Dumbledore can't track him down, but Mundungus Fletcher can? I like the idea, but this seems like a bit of a plot-hole.

 

• Harry Potter, child prodigy (think 'L' or something), is recruited by the British Taxation department to investigate the 40 odd thousand missing tax returns from the charing cross road area in London.
• Harry Potter is not fiction, and the people involved with the fiction version, are slowly disappearing one by one...
• Harry potter is completely, bat-shit crazy (act or not). I know there's a few out there... but more can't hurt!!
• Harry potter is everything Snape claims he is.. pompous, arrogant, womanising... but not without cause..i.e. he is damned good... and that pisses Snape the fuck off, daily.
• Cross over with Naruto (usually enjoy these.. except the really strange ones, or ones that contain faggotry).
• Cross over with DAAS (Doug Anthony All Stars) for epic lulz
• Crossover with Ghost Hunt (anime). as horcruxes can only be exorcised by a 'psychic'... aka Hermione's "accio horcrux books" plot hole, doesn't happen and the sword is just a fucking sword.
• This would take a bit of a pro writer... but somehow change all Harry's dorm mates into "The Young Ones"... at least in mannersims etc. Who would be who??

 

You make it happen, I'd be willing to beta it. I like the idea a ton, so go for it.

 

Well it would be more of a they scuffled and Mund got some of his hair to use or something of that sort, its not just Mung can do it. He would have direct fresh materials to magically track with where as Dumbledore would have nothing to go off of and no idea where to even begin to look. My idea of magical tracking is more Dresdeny if you get what I'm saying.

Also alright sounds good I'll start working on a the first chapter when I can.

 

I'm not very good a being succinct: I wrote out a whole lot more than this until I realised I was basically just telling the story, not summing up the idea. Whoops.

Here, I'll be brief:

Harry, while searching for a way to destroy Horcruxes during the Horcrux hunting phase in DH, finds an instrument shown to be able to deconstruct magic, a new and virtually unknown discovery by modern wizards. While retrieving it the trio are attacked and the instrument (which is little more than a ceramic plate in physical properties) is shattered by part of the ceiling impacting it. A small chunk is embedded in Harry's right tear-duct because of this: it's mildly painful but dismissed as unimportant considering the situation.

They flee the Death Eaters, but the eye with the shard gets worse and worse over time, despite Harry's attempts to remove it. The skin around the wound begins to grow discoloured and his eye is sore and painful. He eventually manages to remove the shard but it's too late: the discolouration is still slowly spreading across his face, as if the skin were infected. He begins to see strange shapes in the corner of his eye; moving shadows, things which the other eye can't see.

He begins to see creatures as the infection spreads across his eye. Monstrous beings and terrifying versions of normal creatures alike. The nature of the shard is that it deconstructs magic around it, which is exactly what his flesh is now doing: it strips the magic out of the light entering the eye, enabling him to see creatures that are otherwise completely hidden by magic. And the world is rife with them, all completely hidden through their magic.

That's the basic idea, but I've already formed a definitive plot around it. New villains and a more badass Voldemort, several interweaving plot lines, Harry's powers carefully balanced with more interesting and challenging abilities introduced than in canon, a couple of jokes about not being able to see transfigured clothes, etc. The works.

It doesn't really sound as good as it would be in the summary, though. I'm pretty bad at them. I'd try to balance the new world with the driving plot and it would give me a chance to play with new, more creative types of magic.

If I ever wrote it, that is.

 

Sounds kind of like the Sight from the Dresden Files, but less so. Seems interesting, I'd read it.

 

I vaguely remember the Sight, I think. I thought it would make a good crossover with John Dies at the End at the time, as they both had the same sort of properties.

I haven't read the Dresden Files past the second book, though. I tried it to see what you guys liked about it so much, but, ah... I just didn't see it. What really put me off was the relationship with Murphy, which was needlessly strained and the conflict within it was all based on misunderstandings that could have been so easily resolved that it just destroyed my suspension of disbelief entirely. He could have just said something to her, especially the second time around. It was just too frustrating to pass, so I didn't read any more.

Please tell me that it gets better after that. I desperately want to read an epic novel: I haven't in a long, long while.

I'm not surprised that it would be similar to a lot of things, though. The idea spawned from a random situation that became the subplot, and I developed the main plot because I was thinking about shard-related plot devices like a story I recently read in the WbA section. Then I thought about trying something similar to Ectomancer. Now I think about it, I've read a lot of books that have the same sort of thing, like JDatE.

 

Sounds more like Harry's thing in Ectomancer to me. It could be good; I'd definitely read it if you wrote it.

 

This isn't even a fully thought out plot bunny, just a weird little idea I had a bit ago.

Question: Has anyone else read the Grim Tales from Snafu Comics?

The entire time I was reading those, I kept thinking about how interesting it would be to see a Harry Potter story with the the same general premise.

For example (spoiler tags for anyone who might read it):

Spoiler

-Harry has a younger, half-sister
>Either James or Lily got down and dirty with someone else
-He is jealous of his sister's talent
-She loves him unconditionally
-He gets in trouble and she very nearly dies for him
-He ends up as her protector

Kinda vague, I know. I'm just wondering if a story like this would appeal to anyone. If so, I might have to formalize this into a challenge since it would turn out horribly if I wrote it.

 

He ran through the maze as fast as he dared, his wand held in front of him. He listened closely for any noise that might alert him to a potential obstacle, but he could only hear the soft flap of his trainers against the soil. Turning left at the end of a path, he lost control of his weary body and fell face first on the rough ground, jarring his leg and leaving him hollering in pain. For a long minute he lay in the sand, holding his injured knee and drawing it tight to his body. He grimaced, trying to flex it, and screamed once more. He could put no weight on his leg, and worse, he didn't know where to go.

He closed his eyes and lay still on the ground, looking up at the stars above Hogwarts. He sighed. After coming all this way, he couldn't deny his hunger to win the tournament; being so close to winning exacerbated the anguish he felt giving it up. But he had no choice. He could not walk.

Hogwarts is bound to win now, either way.

The thought concerned him in a way it wouldn't have months before. He felt neither pride nor joy knowing that Hogwarts had won, but instead a heavy guilt in the way they won it. He never should have been entered in the tournament, and now that he was so close to winning it, he felt the overwhelming urge to sit down in the grass, take a breather, and allow Cedric to lead Hogwarts to glory.

So, his trainers removed and his bare feet touching the grass, he brought his wand up and shot red sparks into the sky, smiling as he relaxed for the first time the entire school year.

Congratulations, Cedric. You earned it.

-----

Cedric dies. Voldemort uses Cedric to bring himself back to life, and then kills him, dumping his carcass in the woods behind the Riddle House to rot. Dumbledore has his suspicions as to what brought about Cedric's death, but no one can really be sure. Harry is horrified by Cedric's death, and more than a little guilty, but also very glad that it wasn't him. Hermione and Ron share this sentiment.

Thus, Harry and Voldemort don't share blood, Priori Incantatum never happens, and the Order of the Phoenix isn't brought together quite so early...

I could outline for days, but it's just a Plot Bunny, so I'll stop there...