Dark Lord Potter Epic Fails

This is a FML sort of thread where we post personal stories of epic fail (EPF).​

I'll start off:

Last night, I looked at our waiter, completely intending to order a salad because I haven't eaten anything green in days. But at the last second, when the waiter asked me for my order, I impulsively burst out with "Can I have a brownie ice cream sundae?" EPF.

 

I ruptured my right Achilles tendon a couple weeks ago and I've been walking with a pronounced limp. A few days ago, while walking with my postdoc to get a coffee, he asked why I was limping. In the middle of my explanation, I stepped on a broken section of sidewalk and turned my ankle badly.

My left one.

 

...Today, I wasted 30 seconds of my life clicking and reading this thread and being surprised that Lyndon had posted something so utterly useless. FYOURL

I have the overwhelming urge to point and laugh...

But then I remember like a month ago, while high on CCC, I tried to reach to grab something off my headboard... from like a billion feet away and would up face planting into the floor. Like.. Full body stretch to reach... ALMOST GOT I*faceplant.* T'was embarrassing even in an empty room.. >_>

 

pffft. Humor me, Vash. If everyone participates, I think there is definitely lulz potential.

 

I have a massive fail. I was txting a friend and my ex girl friend at the same. Telling my girlfriend what ever she wanted to hear about whatever and that yes honey twilight is amazing. Telling my friend how I was going to cheat on my girl friend this weekend and to cover for me. The messages got switched.:awesome

 

Last year, I was talking to my ex about two mutual friends, a guy and a girl, and she asked me whether I'd noticed that the girl had a massive crush on the guy. I said, quite truthfully, "Of course I have, you'd have to be retarded not to have noticed." Her response? "Oh. Well, I had to be told!" Cue massive amounts of grovelling...Arguably more of an epic fail for her though, to be fair.

A definite fail for me came with the Iron Man 2 trailer. I'd been teasing my girlfriend about thinking Scarlett Johannson was hot, and she was pretending to be upset. Playing along, I told her "Of course I love you more than Scarlett Johannson." Except I actually said "Of course I love Scarlett Johannson more than you...wait, no!"

Fortunately, she knew what I meant and settled for ripping the piss out of me for the rest of the day rather than getting pissed off, but still. Epic fail was epic. You may gather that I can be a bit dumb around girls...

 

I feel no sympathy for you. You are willingly dating a girl who likes twilight... and, rather than dumping her, you are cheating on her to boot.

 

You failed in posting the fail thread that's full of fail. Oh, the fail... :awesome

 

I think Vash said it best with "I have this overwhelming urge to point and laugh."

 

I just watched a Ryan Reynolds movie.

EPIC FAIL GUISE.

 

So she was easy. The other girl was easy. It was like doing simple math.
(3*0)(3*0)= Fun for friday and saturday night.

 

Shark week, huh?

 

This girl I used to date (the ginger in PYP) told me that she liked Twilight. After digging a bit deeper, she eventually confessed that she wrote Twilight fanfiction. And then I lol'd.

No really: I literally said "Ahhaha, oh Lawl!" out loud.

 

It meant 3 holes plus another 3 holes = win.

 

Basic rule of math sayz that anytime you multiply with a zero, everything will always be zero.

Idiot.

Edit: how is this for epic fail, cuddles?

 

I believe, through his uber txting skillz, he ended up getting nothing. Thus Fail.

 

A few years ago I trusted that Ubuntu would preserve the Windows files on my family computer when I was installing it...well, it didn't. The installation wizard was a bit flaky/confusing at the time. Everything got wiped over with ext3.

Fortunately, there are utilities to recover files and such, so I've recovered most of it, but I haven't gotten around to organizing it all properly yet (more due to sheer laziness than anything else).

Still, EPF.