I smell a spin-off! :awesome

 

IMO, the Dobby scene worked just fine as it currently is. What exactly didn't you like about it?

Also there isn't anything wrong with 'filler' so long as it helps to further character development which this did.

I'd assume that it's her father is going to be teaching. At the end of the last bit at Durmstrang with Calypso he mentioned something about taking a larger hand in her education or something along those lines.

 

Plus he's probably thinking "Lawl, I still get all the bitches cause I'm famous."

Honestly this chapter was all filler -- I don't feel like I learned anything about the characters I didn't already know and the plot movement can be summarized in two sentences -- but I find myself not minding because this world is interesting enough that it's OK to just read about nothing for a while. But hopefully something happens in the next chapter.

 

Loving this. This is probably one of the best current WIP fics out there; not only on DLP, but on ff.net also.

Looking forward to the next update.

 

This, WoT, and the non-"other side of the coin" zennith fic are the only ones I see any point in actually following.

Good chapter, even if it was fillers.

 

feud.

Yeah, I had a bit of a bad reaction too. I realise the names of Hermione's parents are fanon-accepted, but I don't think it serves your story well in this case. 'Wards', which I think are also a fanon concept, fit your story reasonably well, and there's no reason to change that.

Dumbledore is still very slightly off (looking weary, the not-quite-fake rambling), but if you decide to write your own version of Dumbledore it can actually turn out pretty good.

Your Dobby scene isn't horrible. In canon he refers to Harry as 'sir' a lot more, and he attempts to punish himself.

The scene where Harry shows off his receptacle is a bit cheesy and redundant, but Harry's interaction with other people is generally excellent. I'm not a fan of Hermione's hand-on-hips "Nathan Potter!" moment, that's just personal taste.

You've managed to make magical theory quite compelling, so I'm interested to see what your take on animagi will be.

I'm still enjoying this a great deal. 4/5 for the chapter up till now.

That last comma should go (didn't notice any other mistake, save a few spacing errors).

 

Edit: oops, wrong thread

Great update, by the way.

 

I'd enjoy reading a house-elf spin-off fic.

Nice work in this chapter, good way to show that whilst everything is happening with Harry at Durmstrang, the Potter family still love him deeply, as they should, and that anything that happens means that they worry for Harry, not their worried of Harry.

I would like to learn more about Hogwarts education and how it trumps Durmstrang. We've learned how Durmstrang is better then Hogwarts, now lets learn a little about how Hogwarts is better then Durmstrang. At the moment your just pro-Durmstrang, and I'd like to see it even out a little so it doesn't eventually feel like a, if only slightly, Hogwarts bashing fic. If Durmstrang is so good, how does Hogwarts keep on producing top class wizards? Give us a little to reinforce our faith in your Hogwarts.

All in all the story is moving along nicely, if a little slow. Keep up the good work.

 

Good update, I especially liked it when Hermione realized that she's not the top student among her age group. I'd like to see Harry gloat about it but then, that's not in his character in this story. I'm curious where their tentative(?) friendship would lead to.

I'm also wondering about Dobby's appearance. I'd have expected him to appear when Nathan was alone, but when I pondered this scene a bit, I realized he didn't know who the real Boy-Who-Lived was, and decided to appear in front of the two.

5/5

 

IDK. I guess it's just to close to canon for my taste. This entire chapter has been actually. While I don't have a problem mimicking canon events, I really dislike doing so, which is one of the reasons why I put Harry in Durmstrang.

Yeah, the Dumbledore thing I can agree with, but I do have a reason. Whereas Canon Dumbledore basically ignored Harry from years 1-11, my Dumbldore has been an intricate part of the Potter family since Halloween 1981. Basically, he's a lot closer to Nathan and Harry than canon Dumbledore. I think it's somewhat natural for him to be a bit more open than the Dumbledore in canon. Not a lot mind you (and do slap me down if you ever feel he's gotten to un-Dumbledore), but a bit.

As for the animagi thing, that's something I'm still not quite happy with. I've got a plan, but hopefully some people will chime in on how I can improve it. I'm trying to make it fit how someone in canon would become an animagus, and I've had to infer some stuff since there isn't much about the process. What there wont be is any super fix magic potions, Native American spirit rituals, or magical mind scape meetings between Harry and his animal.

I should add that I intend to make Harry a multiple Animagus whose most powerful form will be a five headed Hydra/Phoenix hybrid, but even Taure should agree that's totally canon so it's no big deal.

 

I was halfway getting ready to pull out my knives for a mercy-killing when I realized you were being sarcastic. Wheeew, close call.

Hey Santi...you were being sarcastic,right? ...Right?

 

Complaints inbound

Theres next to nothing about the process, except it involves transfiguration. That's all you got, I think.

The fanon method I always prefered was the meditation method, where you meditate, and as you mediate you find clues to your animal. Once you've discovered what it is, the animal shows itself to you and bang, you got your form. Then you just have to learn how to transfigure yourself into your form, which would take a long time aswell.

 

I hope that you will call it Hendrix and Harry will discover new guitar skills.

Also I loved part about house-elves feud.

 

I can get that. IMO in some small cases, like this one, there isn't really any reason to try and change it up. Just a quick few hundred words that get it out there for the necessary plot development. The only other real alternative I see would be to jump directly to the conversation with Dumbledore and then fill back in what happened with some of the explanation from Harry and Nathan about what happened.

What the hell? NO DRAGON??!?!?!? WTF MAN!

 

Lol, don't you know that's only the 3rd most powerful Animagus Harry has ?

Ontopic:

I like what you've written so far, dw about the cannon similarity in this chapter, it seems like a necessary evil for now. Besides when Harry gets back to Durmstrang it should allow you to diverge again.

The only thing that annoyed me as a little, as others have mentioned is the fanon! name for Hermione's parents, but it's a minor issue relatively speaking.

Keep it up.

 

The good news is that the story is now a crossover and Harry is a Pokemon Animagus. The bad news is that he's Bidoof.

 

I once read a crossover fic where he was Mew.

 

Oh hey, I remember reading this fic. Stopped half way through due pants-on-head retardation and mass confusion.

 

I almost got my ragequit pants on before I realized it was a joke. I've had a long day.

I liked the chapter, and only one thing annoyed me; Harry was out of character when Nathan said Voldemort. I know what you were trying to show, but he overreacted compared to how most strong people did in the books (for example, McGonagall usually just gasped, maybe her lips pursed some more). It was more out of place when Harry threatened Dobby in the next line.

 

Mirroring some canon scenes, but using the differences to show how your AU changes things is something you can do quite well. Maybe you should dare a bit more.

Well, I've stated my concern about Dumbledore in the last two parts of the chapter - others don't seem to feel the same way. The idea that he's closer to the Potter twins is good, I just think that making him look like he doesn't control his emotions makes him weaker. For me, the way Dumbledore always seemed to be in control was one of his defining characteristics.

You have to remember that Harry goes to Durmstrang - where it would be quite shocking for someone to say Voldemort's name. He was also raised knowing to fear it, and he's twelve. So his reaction makes perfect sense; it's actually the sort of attention to detail and characterisation that I really like about this story.