Rita Skeeter hears about Dumbledore's reappearance after Ginny Weasley has been taken to The Chamber of Secrets. So she goes to Hogwarts to check out the situation.

She ends up on the right place at the right time, and witnesses the conversation between Harry, the Weasleys and Dumbledore. Harry's heroics pale in her mind compared to what could be the biggest Revelation of the century, the man behind Lord Voldemort.

Some time during PoA, she releases a world-changing book: The Life And Lies of Tom Marvolo Riddle.

Thoughts?

 

Yes. Lucius Malfoy uses his political connections to get her fired and has her fed to a pack of hungry werewolves under the command of his good friend Fenrir Greyback.

Barring that, Rita Skeeter becomes the second person to die a grisly death after Bertha Jorkins when Voldemort decides to activate his 'Goblet of Fire' plan and reactivate Barty Crouch.

But seriously, lulzy idea. Could be a great oneshot.

 

OK, so this new plot bunny struck me a few days ago and I thought I might as well get you folks opinion about it.

The basic idea is that Sirius comes back after his death in Harry's fifth year. Not alive, but as a ghost. It has some basis in canon. After Sirius' death, Harry actually wonders if he is going to come back as a ghost.

Anyway, so I have seen a lot of stories where Sirius survives or goes to another dimension but never where he comes back as a ghost, other than in one story where he possess Harry. So it is not an idea that has been used all that much before.

If I do it, I'll write it as a dark humourous one-shot or as a small 30k word fic and no more. I've some ideas about how to make it work. But if you guys have anything to suggest then I'm all ears.

 

I've had an idea to write a Horcrux fic involving Rasputin. Conspiracy solved!

 

...well what is it?

 

Well the conspiracy around Rasputin's death is that he could not die. he survived multiple cyanide poisonings, stabbings, and the time he was shot multiple times, including the head, he ran into a river to escape his attackers and drowned instead of succumbing to the wounds. I don't like writing non-Harry-centric, but it would be a neat idea I think.

Also, another bunny I just found in the first book, but it probably has already been mentioned many times before. Harry shakes hands with Quirrelmort when Hagrid brings him though the Leaky Cauldron, why didn't he get fried then? He had to have been possessed at that point in time because he his stutter.

 

Quirrell said during the climax that Voldemort only started to possess him after the failed break-in at Gringots.

The idea still has merrit though, something like this could have happened at any time during the school-year.

 

I think a one shot would be feasible of Harry roasting Quirrel that day, killing him, and living happily ever after with normal school years. Eventual HP/DG of course.

 

...Roasting Quirrel would only roast Quirrel. Voldemort's wraith-form would still escape (if you one-shotted him to already be possessing Quirrel) just as he did in the Mirror scene. You've still got diary!Riddle to contend with, Voldemort's wraith-form to deal with, and several other horcruxes. Your premise is flawed.

 

Some more details would have to be added, granted. Horcruxes can be ignored altogether as a plot device. Voldemort's survival can be explained in a dozen different ways. As for the wraith-form, it is possible (although very unlikely) that one of the many patrons in the LC might be able to do something to stop it from fleeing. However, it is more plausible that the wraith is destroyed at this part of the story because Quirrell has not begun to drink blood from Unicorns to sustain Voldemort. Without the protection of the cursed blood, Voldemort's spirit would dissipate.

 

An independent!Harry fic, where he doesn't offer to pay Dobby twice as much as the Weasleys earn a year, nor does he do that standard little negotiation with Dobby, that goes from 1 knut/week with no days off to 10 galleons a week, and he gets to make sticky with Winky.

 

@Admonkeystrator: Wait...what? That sounds more like a peeve than a plot....

 

I'd like to see some reversals of canon twists.

Snape really was trying to steal the Stone and Quirrell was a good guy, the Diary was harmless and someone else was controlling the Basilisk, Scabbers was just a rat and Sirius betrayed the Potters, Crouch Jr. died in Azkaban, the secret weapon Voldemort wanted was something other than a Prophecy, the Half-Blood Prince wasn't Snape, ETC.

Some of those ideas require a lot of thought and good writing if not played as crack, but I'm pretty sure that something good could come out of them.

 

You're right.. damn
I'll concede that seems more like a peeve then a plot bunny....to me it's both really.
I'd like to see it done, and actual story develop from it... where it is not just a device for Dobby to fade into the background or Harry to magically have everything he needs. etc.

 

Idea for oneshot;

Starts towards the end of HP#1, chapter might be called 'through the trapdoor' but I forget exactly. It starts where Harry has an epiphany and runs to Hagrid and discovers how easily Hagrid told the 'greek' stranger how to tame fluffy (by singing it a bit of music), during the card game Hagrid won his dragon egg.

Now the twist is that Hagrid realizes how big of an idiot he has been, and takes matters into his own hands. Hagrid, with trio in tow, runs up to the third corridor, they see fluffly is already asleep so they jump down the trapdoor. Hagrid rips the devilsnare apart with his barehands. Hagrid then smashes through the flying key room's door no problem. They then encounter the troll, in which Hagrid gives the troll a Stone Cold Stunner. Hagrid smashes his way through the chess set and arrive at the potion challenge. Hagrid drinks all the bottles and lives because of his giant blood, and they go into the Mirror room. Hagrid realizes that Quirrell was the one who traded him the egg. He shrugs off Quirrells spells, picks him up, and give him a backbreaker from hell, essentially making the back of Quirrel's head meet his heels. Then he chokeslams the already paralyzed Quirrell, and then throws him through the Mirror of Erised for good measure.

Props will be added for the number of times Hagrid says. 'And a thumpin' good one too, I reckon"

 

Oddly enough, I feel like I would enjoy that story.

 

And then Fred and George promptly abandon their joke shop idea to start the WWWE, Grawp makes an earlier appearance as a Bad Guy whose tagline is HAGGER GIT ER DUN!

Bill France Jr. and Vince McMahon cross the pond and transform Quidditch into a left-turn-only snore-fest, and Harry slits his wrists to escape the horror of it all. Voldemort, seeing all this, doesn't even bother trying to get his body back, and shows Dumbledore where to find the Horcruxes so he can fucking die already.

 

A few ideas/kill offs

book one. Durlseys and Harry are on the rock island, hiding from the Hogwarts letters. Hagrid breaks in. Vernon; "YOU ARE BREAKING AND ENTERING etc..." Shoots Hagrid in the face with rifle. Harry never gets letter, never goes to Hogwarts. The End.

book one. Quidditch match. Quirrell's broom hurling curse was never interrupted, Harry falls off his broom and dies. The End.

book two. Dobby is in Harry's room, before cake incident. Dobby is beating himself with lamp, then shows Harry's his stolen letters. Harry takes lamp and kills Dobby, and has no more accidents. The End.

book two. Dueling against Malfoy, Harry takes his shoe off and beams the idiot in the face with it. The End.

book three. Harry doesn't stop Sirius from killing Wormtail. Triwizard Tournament and Voldemort's resurrection never happens. No one is there this time to stop Snape from getting mauled by werewolf!Lupin. The End.

book four. Dragon's are too tough for competitors, they all die. The End.

book four. cho; "Sorry, Cedric already asked me" ;crying/hate; "Avada Kedavra!" The End.

book five. Post DoM/Sirius dying. In office, Dumbledore just told Harry the prophecy. "You Fucker!" (remembers Bella's and fake!Moodies teachings 'you got to mean it!') "Avada Kedavra!" kills Dumbledore. (insert indy!Harry story) The End.

book five. DoM scene. "I want blood n' gore, and intestines in me teeth" "Reducto! Expulso! Confingo! Obliviate!" The End.

book five. Umbridge detention. "The fuck is this shit?, 'I will not tell lies'? ARRG Reducto!" problem solved, the end. moral of the story; The devil you know is not always better than the devil you don't. take some inititive, kill Fudge, Umbridge and Snape

book six. WTF Romilda, love potions. "Avada Kedavra!" The End.

book six. WTF "Ginny you look like my mom, don't touch me! Avada Kedavra!"


book six. top of tower, dumbledore crippled. Harry breaks Dumbledore's body bind. "Avada Kedavra!" Blasts his most hated enemy off the tower. Then blasts Snape and friends in an ambush, off the tower as well. The End.

book six. Fleur. "I veel not take ze Weazley name." she said in disgust. "'e shall be William Delacour, non?" The End.

book seven. final battle. Molly Weasley; "Thats my daughter you bitch" Bella; "Avada Kedavra" Molly dies. The End.