It is.

Belgians are idiots. Truefax.

 

I'm pretty sure his hobbies include chillin' out, laxin', acting all cool and shooting some b-ball outside of the school.

 

Crucio-ing (Crucing? Crucioing?) his loyal followers/enemies/random muggles/blow up dolls. Voldemort is a lonely man.

 

A motley assortment of reading and raping, I'd imagine.

 

Nah, Nah. You got it all wrong.

Voldemort's not a tennis man he's a golf man. Every Thursday he plays a round or two with Patrick Bateman and the yuppie crew, hell sometimes they'll play twice a week, but never on a Friday 'cause that's when he visits his baby mama.

Mondays and Tuesdays are reserved for his other mistress, this wacko chick b the name of Bellatrix.

And on Wednesday he delights in crushing his minions in a wicked game of squash.

He loves a full life. Bitches don't even know...

 

Well, to be canon about it, Voldemort's hobby seems to be that he's a Hoarder. He collected shit as a kid and he collected shit as an adult. In fact, I bet if the whole Dark Lord thing failed he would have found his calling as a trash picker.

 

I'd put forth the idea of him writing his Auto Biography tentatively titled:

'Secrets of a Dark Lord'
-Lord Voldemort, Darkest Lord of all time, Heir of Salazar Slytherin.


The story of how a prodigy became a master then a lord.

 

Watch out, Rachel Ray and Jamie Oliver :awesome

 

Coming soon: The Iron Chef, cage match version. Brought to you by the estate of Julia Child.