I would really like to see a prequel to this fic. How did Dumbledore, Grindelwald, and Riddle take over the Muggle world and build their empire? I think that would be a much more interesting fic.

There are some questions about the AU that I'd really like to know. For example, how do the wizards keep the Muggles in line? With only a few million wizards it must be difficult to control the hundreds of millions of muggles from Scotland to Turkey. Also, has the author mentioned what the world is like outside of the Empire? Do the muggles control that? If so, is the empire at war with them?

As for the story itself. It's alright, but some of the stuff really bugs me, such as Hermione's attitude towards the dark arts and Neville's daddy issues. I think the author has done a very good job writing Dumbledore and, in the last chapter, Grindelwald. I'll give it a tentative 4/5 and keep my eye on it.

 

I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of it. I like the characterizations of most people except for Hermione. What the fuck is her problem with Harry, and her issues with the Dark Arts? I'm not curious about it, I'm just annoyed. I figure you have a plan for everything getting revealed, but frankly she's just dragging down the fic for me.

 

You're on Dark Lord Potter and have a problem with the dark arts? Ironic. As for the story, the issue that's been bugging me can basically be summed up as "Where is the conflict?" Right now it's all inside Harry, or trivial, and I'd prefer we had a more open antagonist. Thankfully, Grindewald seems to be stepping into this role. High hopes, 4/5 from me.

 

Very much enjoying this. The writing isn't anything mind blowing, but it's solid, and the world is - so far - well developed. Harry and his friends aren't the most exciting characters yet, but they feel real, and the Power Trio at the head of the Empire look like they could develop into decent antagonists (well, Dumbledore could go either way). My only qualm is that really, not that much has happened yet. I'm looking forward to more. 4/5

 

Very Good. You'll have to suspend your belief a little (I am not entirely convinced that Dumbledore would allow this kind of treatment of muggles). I am happy to ignore a personal opinion as the story itself is interesting enough to make up for it. I particularly enjoyed the relationship between Lily and the cast.

 

Well, he dark arts in this fic are portrayed as extremely dangerous for the users, as not only does one needs hate/rage/whatever to fuel the spells, it's also pretty much said using said spells 'anchor' those feeling within you.

So, yeah, there is a difference between 'grey' harry and a Harry hat needs to torture people to feel alive.

 

It would be cool if Harry joined forces with Riddle later in the fic to try and topple the empire.

 

This fic is strange. On one hand, I've enjoyed it so far. It's well written and the characters are a joy.

On the other hand, there's something about it that's turning me off. Maybe it's Hermione's constant bitchiness or the fact that Harry seems to be flipping violently from "DARK ARTS IS BAD" to "DARK ARTS ARE COOL." every few paragraphs. It could be that I doubt Dumbledore would ever stand for Grindlewald openly doing that shit to a muggle. At a party.

All the same though, I'll be following it and I'd rec it to others. 4/5

 

This is going along splendidly. I can't say that I dislike any altered characterizations, an while there are a few setting-relevant details I'd have to nitpick here and there, I'm confident that the author will be able to pick them up, since he's already been in this thread, and offer explanations later on so that it makes sense.

And if not, it's still good enough that those things don't need to be resolved in a sensible manner. The world is good enough that some errors here and there are fine.

4.5/5.

 

Hmm. I just finished reading the end of this story and I'm not quite sure what to give it. I understand the intricacies and the subtleties that the author's trying to put into place and grammatically speaking it's worded well. The characterisation is decent, if a little bland, I love the Hermione hate and the plot seems to be moving along quite nicely.

So why don't I want to give it a 5?

I suppose my problem is that, for some reason, I couldn't immerse myself in the story very well. There were no point in any of the chapters that made me forget where I was in favour of focussing solely on the world I was reading. I don't know if this is because I'm reading yet another First Year story (even if such and such isn't happening, it's First Year- nothing that exciting is happening) or because I'm just not that fond of the writing after all.

I'll give it a 3/5 for now. I've withheld one point for a lack of immersion and one point for the characterisation so far. It's decent, but not very compelling or exciting. Still, it's early on and I will be keeping an eye on this.

 

So, just read the story and I liked it so far, some characters were really interesting (Moony, Lily, Neville, Dumbledore (as in what is his deal in this) and Hermione in that she was probably treated as bad as every other muggle until she discovered her magical abilities which saved her from mistreatment and as such rightfully hates the dark arts that were used against them. )

The setting is interesting too, a story where the muggle got taken over by wizards but at the same time, I have to agree with people saying that Dumbledore would never have stood for this. In his youth, yes, he thought that they were better than muggles and that they knew better how to lead them but that is a different mindset than "muggles are our slaves and we can do with them what we want".

He really would never have let it go to slavery but maybe he is also sick of this way of government and wants to raise Harry as an helper to usurp Grindlewald, who seems awfully a lot like the Fire Lord from ATLA. Maybe that is why he wanted Harry to meet him, to show him that the Emperor is a mean SOB?

This leads to a question by the way, why are there a Chancellor and an Emperor at the same time? Was it because Dumbledore didn't want a fight with GG and chose to be Nr. 2 or are they equal in every matter but the title?

Ron was rather bland, the way he ratted Harry out to McGonagall and how he cowers from Malfoy make him a bit unlikable and I would wish he was a more compelling person. Then again, I am one of the few here who liked Canon Ron.

Loved Nevile in this, and the dark arts are an interesting aspect of it. The fire spell really did convey on why Dark Arts were abhorred in the normal HP world and why Hermione has such issues against them.

All in all, a really interesting story with a promising setting and nice characters who have potential.

4/5 for me

 

I would assume that this Dumbledore like in cannon doesn't have much interest in being the leader of a nation or empire but that's just me.
4/5 so far

 

Quoted for Truth.

Decent update. There's some lovely character work in this fic, there really is. Harry cursing Snape was very satisfying, even if I'm not looking for an out and out Dark!Harry (although I am looking forward to Hermione being brought down a peg or two; I can perfectly understand her, and I sympathise to an extent, but she's still a little obnoxious - especially listening in on Harry and Lupin).

 

I felt where Hermione is coming from and was sympathetic to her position, but now she's just being petty. She's definitely an 11 year old girl.

I semi-agree with one of the reviewers (Fred the Man) below me on ff.net when it comes to her. The difference is that I believe that her and Harry becoming friends or allies is inevitable. It's pretty obvious that she's going to have a major fall from grace pretty soon, and whether it's due to Harry or Harry is the one to bail her out is the question. Based on what I've seen from Harry's progression, I'm leaning towards the latter.

She didn't lose all the respect I had for her after standing up to Grindelwald, but yeah she loss some major points. She can reprimand her son fine as she plays a major part of his development, but at least do something about the other end of the problem. She could have very easily told Snape to grow the fuck up and stop singling out her son if she wanted to. Actually, it could still happen if Blank402 wants it to happen.

 

Harry was all having trouble hesitating to cast the dark spell a few chapters ago. He cast it, and suddenly all his doubts went away as to his hatred of a few different things.

It's quite explicitly said, that the dark arts do not just require hatred, but that they make sure it *stays there*.

that is pretty much the same thing. Everyone who rubs one the wrong way is an asshole by definition

where do you get that?

Or maybe she knows that if Harry goes and do those things regularly, it means hogwart is managing to change him into a proto-grindelwald.

Because, you know, when you 'deck' a teacher with a possibly lethal spells just because he bullies you, it does mean you have very deep anger management issues.

That's the point here, not Snape.

Hermione fall from grace? what? she has been tortured by her dark art professor since the first weeks for hours a week.

She can't fall much farther, you know.

 

The only thing this story has in common with The Skitterleap is that in both Grindelwald won. Nothing more. I'm not saying it's bad, it's interesting, the universe seems to be well thought, without anything glaringly obvious, like hidden society of deus-ex "dark wizards", sticking out, but it's completely different genre.

I'd give it 4/5 if it wasn't so slow-paced. If this keeps up, it'll be long since abandoned before Harry turns 15.