Name: Inside a Mad Man's Mind.

Author: Fr4Nc0

Rating: T

Genre: Stream of Consciousness

Pairing: None

Summary: Neville goes insane after torturing Bellatrix Lestrange into insanity. Beware: Not for the easily confused. Stream of Consciousness

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5015962/

 

Go HERE for the proper posting format.

That said, your fic sucks.

0/5

 

Stream of Conciousness is a genre now?

 

I dont really know what genre it is. Stream of consciousness isnt a genre.

 

Terrible first two posts to be honest, but I suppose he did show the idea of being crazy alright, with one giant paragraph of meaningless drivel and all run-on sentences. That being said, 0/5, simply because meaningless drivel, is, well, meaningless.

 

Uh, not sure if I can even give this a rating. It's not even a one-shot really.

Some friendly advice:

Read American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis. One of the best examples of Stream of Consciousness that also is done in a proper format. Stream of Consciousness is also not easy to pull off. Not only do you need the proper mindset to do it, but you also need interesting characters that are established that the reader can get emotionally invested in. Otherwise, it's just reading the random clipping of some character who not only do we not care about but is not very interesting to begin with.

 

No; it's a narrative mode.

This story is cringe-worthy, by the way. Not only is it an angst-fest it accomplishes this through being a lot of boring drivel trying to pass artistically.

 

So I just finished The Sound and the Fury and decided good lord baby hedgehog Jesus, I want to have a go at this.

One paragraph later, I remembered that I wasn't William Faulkner and stopped.

You're not Wm. Faulkner either.

You have an interesting idea, but Neville's introspection is neither interesting nor profound. You abuse the device of repetition. The ending is beyond cheesy.

I'd file this away for another year or so before taking another hack at it. Take the time to develop more substantial ideas and consider the execution. (Or not -- your creative process might be different from mine.)

 

I am under no false illusions. I know i am not william faulkner (as much as id like that)

 

This is really quite horrible, an unedited vomit of words with delusions of modernity. A failed execution, it's uninteresting, unmoving, and unpleasant to read. 1/5

Please have your testicles removed.

 

Here are some reviews:

:|

 

This is why we have DLP. The crap that is FFN is overwhelming at times.

 

Why did you pull the story, you had such glowing reviews from the masses at fanfiction.net? Obviously they know more about quality than the denizens here.

/sarcasm

 

I wrote that story about 3 years ago. When I read the critiques I got on this thread, I decided to pull the story, wait a couple of months (or maybe a full year), and then have another go at it. Right now, it is a shitty story, I just didn't realize how shitty it was until I went back to it after reading the posts here. In my defense, I thought the story was pretty good back when I wrote it (I was young and foolish)

 

How is that in your defense?

 

Sorry, it's almost 4am and I'm not thinking correctly anymore. I meant to say "In my defense, I was much younger when I wrote this"

 

This isn't an uncommon experience. If you are looking for help in improving your writing, WBA is probably where you want to be posting your stuff. The criticism you receive will be more constructive and probably more useful than For Review, where the criticism can be blunt at times and folks are content to point out what fails, but not necessarily how to fix it.

 

I can only shake my head that *this* is all you seemed to absorb from Agravaine's post.

Redemption was had, and being honest with yourself is worth a lot. No sarcasm intended.

 

I'm new to this forum, so I didn't know where to post my stuff. My apologies. Now, how about we let this thread die and forget about this?

 

Dude, you were told to post the correct format last time you posted a shitty story. I think it was also pointed out that the WBA section is where you post if you want help, and For Review is where you post stuff that you think should be in the library. This deffinately shouldn't.

1/5