Amusing scene, to say the least. I didn't read the story though.

 

A little too early to rate for me but this is a good story and potentially worthy of inclusion in the library.

Spoiler

I can't remember... has there been a Mentor!Bagman story before this one? Not that Bagman is a main character; however, his supporting role is quite good.

Also, I think the Harry-Dumbledore scene that bommor likes actually detracts some from the story... I know why it's being used-- it's being used to answer why Harry doesn't talk to Dumbledore but it's a little awkward...

 

Chapter 6 is up

 

The Book of Prophecies? Seriously?

 

Head. Desk. The entire concluding scene at the ministry was boring and cartoonish. Would have been much more emotionally charged if the rest of the chapter hadn't already been so obnoxiously melodramatic.

The stitching into the story of what I assume to be Buffylore (never watched the show) felt beyond contrived.

I enjoyed the first five chapters, but the latest knocks it down an entire point for now. 3/5.

 

I agree, it had some fresh and quirky touch in the beginning. Too bad the last chapters felt like some kind of soap and now with some ministry action where I'm really wondering what kind of causality the author had in mind.
Some bad copied concepts from OOTP in a different setting because of the story's GOF changes wasn't a really smart idea especially when they feel so plot driven.

 

I was really enjoying this as a decent time waster, then the last chapter hit. Writing was flat, Harry cries, book of prophecies, stopped paying attention.

The quirkiness and interesting plots that made me push through the clumsier stuff just vanished this last chapter and ruined the whole thing. I found myself skipping pages of text and just lost interest in it. Bit of a shame really, it had an interesting premise but it was let down by flat writing, clumsy plotting and a serious case of tell-don't-show.

 

I had to stop reading halfway through the chapter when Harry suddenly realizes that he's shit on every friendship he has.

Yeah, it was news to me too.

Why the author felt we needed another angst trip I will never know. He seems pleased to be sabotaging his own story.

 

Well, at least there wasn't a multicompartment trunk, shopping trip at Diagon Alley, or a ceremony making Harry a Goblin Friend.

 

I guess my decision to give up on this fic after chapter 3 or 4 was the correct one.

It just went downhill too fast.

The Dumbledore scene was by far the peak of this fic.

 

Chapters One through Five: 3.5/5

Chapter Six: Kill it With Fire/5

 

This.

I liked the first couple of chapters enough to put it in the Almost Rec thread, but stopped taking it seriously after the 3rd or 4th chapter. This really is a good example of good concept/bad execution. The Bagman plot had a lot of potential, as did the Dumbledore characterisation, but other aspects of the story killed it.

Great example of why stories shouldn't be posted until there's enough there to honestly vote on. 2/5 from me; 1 point each for the Bagman plot and Dumbedore's character.

 

Only been six chapters, I'm sure it'll happen soon enough. He was too busy last summer, so probably this summer when he goes to France.


And my previous concern about the author seemingly forcing plot elements of OotP into the story even though they don't really belong has only gotten worse.

Spoiler

Seriously, why were those five at the DoM? I mean wtf? And the OotP (it was brought back?) was able to get Sirius there from France so quickly, eh? Okay, I suppose with magic and all...

And then there is that Book of Prophecies...you would think Voldemort would just take a gander at that. Wouldn't even need to bother with the DoM.

And I would like to thank the author for alerting us to how crappy a friend Harry has been. Because I for one never would have noticed unless he pointed it out. No need to actually show us that important bit of characterization as it develops, just let it pop up unexpectedly.

Of course he could have been showing it to us and I had just assumed it was the general lack of characterization.

All in all, I think I'll give it a 2/5 overall. It had potential, but failed.

 

So I started re-reading, and I have to say my favourite part is the adult understanding. Like Sesc said, this wasn't written by a twelve year old.

Normaly, I dislike Malfoy. People try and redeem him, but they don't actually change his character, or if they do, it is a hell-face turn. Whereas here, we see Malfoy's enmity is more playful, and Harry just didn't understand the banter. As well as being a judgemental child.

EDITED IN

I don't want to see the Buffy side. I don't mind the passing allusions, but I'm unfamiliar with that universe, and I kinda don't actually care about it. It doesn't quite feel forced, but if the crossover becomes important, it just wouldn't fit.

Time skips are confusing. Especially when there doesn't seem to be a great big screaming announcement about it, or even scene breaks. It could just have lost formatting when it was uploaded, but the lack of scene breaks is irritating.

 

Yeah story is good and I liked it.

Wonder if we are going to see BTVS side of things.

 

I think there's a lot wrong with the story. He took some elements of OOTP and twisted them in a way where they feel just bogus to me. Some parts aren't really well thought out like this romance angle, the minister changing several times or this drama with Harry and his friends develops in a few lines of text without a pretext. Furthermore this crossover angle with BVBS feels alien.

I like his project work on enchanting but that's not that thought out either.

Not worth more than a 2/5 as there are too many flaws from my pov.

 

Even with the various departments and the magics involved that spring up in the last chapter, it's vaguely recognizable as the HP universe. I'm worried that will change when the BTVS universe collides with this one.

I used to try brush past the romance and angst and reach some of the interesting parts in this story. Ended up struggling to finish this chapter.

As Ellisande said, the Dumbledore scene was great. It's been downhill from there. Will check the next update to see if the author manages to bring some of the decent bits in the first 3 chapters back and decide if I'm going to follow it further.