I was actually planning on saying something related to the story but I just noticed the 74 pages of discussion on a 10 Chapter story...wow.

On another note, someone mention drinking? Then here's to you my good man, CHUG CHUG CHUG....collapses...

 

I dunno if anyone will actually read this but it's worth a try






//////////////////////////////////////////////////////END DISCUSSION
NEXT POST: Santi's Update

 

Nice addition--I think this works well, particularly your explanation for why Harry's picked up some additional mind-magic skills.

The only thing that I think may be a little off (though it really depends on your plans for developing Harry), is that Harry comes off as an intellectual and magical bully in the first scene. He continually belittles Ron in their conversation and then strikes him first with a nasty hex. In other words, he comports as the closed-minded hothead that Ron is in canon.

If this isn't your intention, it might be appropriate to escalate the argument among them more to drive Harry toward snapping, perhaps by letting Ron get more personal with his attacks: e.g., not only does dark magic corrupt the soul, but Harry's is already on its way there if he thinks that using dark curses on Pettigrew is the right thing. No wonder he had no friends at Hogwarts--he was too busy practicing dark magic. Not only that, he's attending a school for dark wizards and is even trying to turn Nathan into a Death Eater. Perhaps in the give-and-take, Ron could throw the first hex, with Harry's strike as a retaliation. (If the gorgon hex is indeed borderline dark magic, fueled by his intent, having it come off alarmingly strong could telegraph to Harry's parents that something's wrong for him to be carrying around such simmering rage). Being punished for hitting back would make Harry's bitterness at being punished all summer that much harder for him to take and would drive a bigger wedge between him and his family.

[Edit: Ninjaed by Oz.]

 

Just so everyone knows, I've finally asked Sree to split the story and discussion thread.

This is, obviously, the discussion thread.

 

Thank god.

Sree, I love you man.

 

Great update as always. Harry hates Ron more then I thought and it looks like the feelings mutual.

Are we going to get the reactions all at once or one at a time?

 

I must say, that at first with Harry and Hermione conversation this part was disappointing. But the moment Harry said: "Damn it, Nathan, there is no good or evil in magic – there is only the power and the intent that magic is used for! Now take the list!", it was great as always.

I also think Harry shouldn't snap so quickly.

One mistake I saw:

And in this fragment:

Harry said Voldemort instead of Dark Lord. I may remember it wrong, but wasn't Harry afraid of using this name?

And lastly - when can we expect interlude? Because I'm sure it will be awesome.

 

Benefits is spelled with one n

Also how is Hermione going to read Harry's German spell creation textbook?

The Harry Hermione interaction in the beginning seemed very bland. It was choreographed and predictable.

Ron was done a lot better than the scene at Hogwarts. He seemed to be actually gearing up for a fight instead of running from one.

However both Ron's and Hermione's roles in your story are completely one dimensional. Hermione is Nathan's friend who is wonderful and just like Harry. Ron exists for the sole purpose of driving a wedge between Harry and Nathan. You should try to work some disagreement between Harry and Hermione and some form of agreement between Harry and Ron just to give those two some much needed depth. Malfoy hating and muggleborns with magical talents are two topic ideas from the top of my head.

 

This.

That line was a stroke of brilliance. Hearing Harry Potter say it left me grinning like an idiot.

 

Moderator, you have probably missed post number 1234 (chapter 10 part 1) page 62.

 

Nice way to conclude the chapter, especially since this is likely the first real crack forming in the relationship between Harry & his family. It was always likely that the first relationship to turn sour would be the brothers...children, especially teenagers are fickle but I really like the way you did it. You're started small, the instant distrust...assuming any spells from Harry are dark, then add in some of Ron's bigotry with a dash of Harry acting childish & the brothers are once again at odds. Obviously the last straw was Harry's almost direct quoting of Quirrelmort, though I wonder should that have been a bigger deal? That seems like the type of thing Nathan would have mentioned to his parents and then would have gotten to Dumbledore...after all that particular view of magic blatantly shows how Harry was manipulated. I particularly like the whole one step forward, two steps back apporach you are taking with regards to Harry & his family. It makes me wonder what the situation will be when Harry fully becomes a 'dark wizard'? Will the family despise him (hope not)? or will it be something similar to a family where a child is a criminal, drug addict or something like that...where that is your child & you will always love them & be there for them if they need help, but you don't approve of their life choices and don't want any of it around you.

Question...did Harry cast that curse non verbally?

One thing I really like about this story is the sense of the fact that Harry being a dark wizard will not neccessarily equal him being evil...at least that seems to be what you are getting at. I am extremely pleased to see the whole Dark Arts corrupts the soul thing being rejected.

It should be interesting for Harry to go back to Durmstrang, he will be the talk of the town & it will almost be like a tiny taste of Nathan's life for him. He will have tons of new 'friends' and everyone will be constantly watching, praising, judging or cursing him. Not to mention we can finally deal with the Calypso thing.

 

Nice. I especially liked how Ron and Nathan overreacted, very realistic in how people can blow out of proportion very small, innocuous comments or actions.

 

A phrase that got used real close to each other.

I'm with everyone that felt Harry's reaction was just a little too over the top.

 

Good chapter, having occlumency teach legilimency was an interesting approach, but one that does make sense. I am curious about what the effects of this will be. I could see Harry learning the truth about Quirrell from the mind of Nathan and that driving even a further wedge between them.

I agree with others that Harry acted quite bizarrely during the confrontation with Ron, if nothing else I would expect that Harry would realise that Ron IS Nathans friend and that insulting him will only provoke Nathan and make him less likely to do as Harry wants and learn those spells. I think in order for the whole thing to make sense, Ron would have to do something seriously provocative first to anger Harry so. Especially since you have established (and do so again here) that learning Occlumency does help you control your emotions.