Thank you. Was confusing the first time, got annoying the second post.

 

...aren't you the author? If so, please stop referring to yourself in the 3rd person. Hell, reviewing your own work is just lame.

That said, I'll go read the update. Just stop being creepy about it.

 

You're misrepresenting the DLP C2.

should be:

 

This was posted a couple of pages ago, just been updated.

 

And self-destructed.

Terrible characterization of Snape, Bellatrix, and Voldemort in Chapter 3. And the prose is clunkier than the Iron Giant.

 

Plus, I don't think I've ever not liked a story because people were too in-character. Guess there's a first for everything.

Harry is too noble.
Hermione is too self-righteous.
Ron is too much of an overbearing oaf.
And Daphne is across the board. It's generous to say she's an emotional roller-coaster.

 

Is the author saying that the author is shooting for a three-way between Grindelwald, Voldemort, and Dumbledore? Even while the author is misspelling Grindelwald?

The author should be ashamed.

 

The author is aiming for a three way struggle with Grindleylows, Grindlewald, and the Grendelwald.

Also, I want Beowulf!Harry...just sayin'...

 

I'm sure we could find somewhere to insert Angelina Jolie covered in gold paint.

o/

 

The Disappearance of Sally Anne Perks updated again. This chapter has given me a renewed sense of hope in the story after the painful HHR in the last one.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6243892/4/The_Strange_Disappearance_of_SallyAnne_Perks

 

Agreed. This chapter was significantly better. My only real issue with this story is how some of the characters' reactions are rapidly change. For example, McGonagall was at first freaked out and nervous at the mention of Sally-Anne, but a day later she's undermining Dumbledore and giving subtle hints to Harry and Hermione. It's just...odd.

There could be a reason behind her actions, it is a mystery story after all. Right now I'm willing to give the author the benefit of the doubt, but it's still something that kind of bugs me.

 

I get the impression that Minerva was ordered to hush up the Perks secret and doctor the records but strongly disagreed with what was done. She has to ostensibly follow orders, either because of her rules fetish or some sort of geas/magical oath on her (or a fidelius secret/whatever on Sally Anne), but is rooting for the secret to come out into the light.

 

What Rhys said makes sense. Of course, characters flipping wildly between different personalities is not exactly uncommon in fanfiction. Still, I'm liking this Sally-Anne story. Enough that if it was twice as long, I'd consider putting it in For Review.

 

Just caught up with Sally-Anne Perks, and I'm still enjoying it - but the dialogue hasn't improved much. Stuff like this:

It just seems really awkward and formal, and keeps jerking me out of the story. Not a major problem by any means, just irritating.

 

Yeah. The author confused dialogue and monologue.

But the story is good; in fact, it's almost DLP good. Definitely worth keeping an eye on.

 

Wtf happened with chapter nine man. I mean, it wasn't exactly crack-free before, but suddenly it practically deserves to be in WTF Fics.

 

Everything is done for a reason, although I will admit I did get a little carried away. I guess what I should be asking is, did you like it, or did you not like it?

 

It was pretty damn jarring, especially all the random Ollivander stuff, which I thought was just some crazy blood dream until it... wasn't. Even the chase scene afterwards seemed a little too lackadaisical to be believed, with random obliviations etc.

I mean, the fic had already sort of passed the logic threshold before with Harry driving around a motorcycle stolen from a murder scene for a week or so with no consequences, but this felt like a Shark Jump. (The story was verging on 3-4, with chapter 9 it's solidly a 3.)

 

Seriously.. the Author needs to stop watching Benny Hill while writing fics.

 

I am rewriting chapter 9. I have some ideas planned out, but if anyone is willing to give an ear and let me bounce a few off them, please shoot me a PM or talk with me on IRC, as to not clutter up this thread more than I already have.