Trident, just stop posting.

 

Are you kidding me? He fits right in - this is the Joke Thread: 4R4W's posts are a joke unto themselves.

 

Fixed that for you.

:awesome

 

An aging architect decides to give back to his community by building a library. After a year's time, the project is complete.

A month before opening to the public, he decides to take a tour with several of his consultants. He see's the many gargantuan book shelves filled to the brim with books and magazines on both knowledge and entertainment. He see's the latest computers, with the fastest connection speeds, to readily aquire information for any who look for it. Towards the end of the tour, he notices a blank space above the information desk, an eye sore that was begining to irritate him.

The next morning he calls an artist to make a mural to fill the space.

"Mr. Painter, This is the George Armstrong Custer Library. Now, what I want you to paint is this; What I want to fill that space is the last thought to go through his mind during the Battle of Little Big Horn. Can ya do that?"

After a moment's thought, the artist agreed, and told the architect to return in two weeks.

Two weeks later, he returned just as the artist was wiping the paint from his fingers, and a smile on his face.

"Well, sir, what do you think?"

The old man's face went slack, his jaw dropping at the sight of what had been made there.

All around the outer parts of the painting- the top, bottom, sides and edges - were indian couples in various states of copulation. Doggie style, Cowgirl, Missionary, and various others he didn't know the name of were depicted there, in all their glory.

In the center was a cloud. And on that cloud was a truly titanic mound of shit, with a pair of wings on it's sides and a golden halo shining light down upon it.

After a moment, he finally regained his voice. "What the hell is this?! This isn't what I asked for!!"

"Of course it is!", the artist replied, "That's the last thought to go through Custer's mind at Little Big Horn: Holy Shit! Look at all the Fucking Indians!"

 

Old joke is old. Last time I heard it, it was at West Point.

 

Would it be safe to assume you're not a spry young dancing banana anymore?:banana:

 

Probably an oldie, as my grandfather was the one to tell it to me, but still funny:



Someone who speaks two languages is bilingual.

And someone who speaks three languages is trilingual.

So what do you call someone who can only speak one languauge?

Spoiler

An American

 

Alright got a fairly dirty joke here (at least dirty for a 16yo female)

So, there's this penguin. And his car has something wrong with it. He gets a friend of his, who's a mechanic, to come over and check it out for him.

His friend is underneath the car and the penguin says

"It's getting kinda hot. I'm gonna go get an ice-cream. Want one?"

"Yeah, thanks. Vanilla, if you've got it."

So the penguin heads off to get some ice-cream.

He's walking back to the garage and he nudges open the door with his shoulder. He drops his mates vanilla ice-cream cone all down his leg and on his flipper.

He walks in and the penguin's friend says

"It looks like you've blown a seal, mate."

And the penguin says "Nah, that's just ice-cream."

 

Corny joke my dad's trucker buddies told me when I was a kid. They had a lot of really filthy jokes too, but I believe I repressed them. Now if I could only repress their stories from driving all over the country...

A drunk is stumble-walking down the street, one foot on the sidewalk and the other foot in the gutter. A cop stops him and says, "I'm gonna have to take you in, buddy; you're drunk."

The drunk man looks at the cop blearily and says, "What, drunk? Are you sure?"

"Yep. Completely hammered," says the cop.

"Thank god!" exclaims the drunk, "I thought I was crippled!"

Ba-dum-pum! I'm here 'til Thursday! Try the veal!

 

Joke:
Latvian: Is so cold.
All: How cold is?
Latvian: Very. Also dark.

Joke:
Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have sent Siberia! “More bread for me,” man think. But bread have worm.

Joke:
Janis: I hope my son does not die during night.
Guntis: What is "hope"?
Janis: Yes. I know what you say.
Guntis: No. I am serious. What is hope?
Janis: In truth, I do not know.

Joke:
Questioning: Why did chicken cross road?
Answering: I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers rape her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

Joke:
Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already rape by soldier.

Joke:
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Latvian.
Latvian who?
Please open door. Is cold.

Joke:
Latvian walk into bar with pig on shoulder. Bartender say, “That look delicious!” But pig say, “No. Is Latvian. Taste is similar to dog.”

Joke:
Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, “Why so long face?” Latvian say, “I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby. “

Joke:
Is dead dog in road. Is dead Latvian in road. What difference?
Dog have fur keep warm. Also, freedom. And dog try eat poop for pleasure not just survive. So many thing!

Joke:
Three Latvian are brag about sons. “My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want,” say first Latvian. “Zo?” second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!” Third Latvian wait long time, then say, “My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over.” “Wow! You are win us,” say others. But all are feel sad.

Joke:
What are one potato say other potato?
Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?

Joke:
How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb?
25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.

Joke:
Latvian is capture by cannibals. Cannibals say, “We are kill you and eat you and use skin for canoe. But you may choose means of your death.” Latvian say, “Okay! You are give me fork, please!” But oops! Is forgot how use!

Latvian try to cross river. Has dog, potatoes, and dead son's body. Can only take two across river at one time. If he leave dog with potatoes or corpse, dog eat them. Is very sad. Also is not good boat.

Q: what is happening if you cross Latvian and potato?
A: this is cruel joke. please, no more.

Joke:
Why is Latvian throw clock out window? Will be no appointments anymore, only endure til death.

Joke:
Man is wait bread line. Wait until starve. Is very funny, yes!


Latvian Nursery rhyme..:

one potato, one potao, one potato, no more potato..
soldier eat potato and rape daughter..is end.

 

Something's wrong with you.

...Welcome?

 

... Wtf? No, seriously, wtf?

 

...I kind of like Latvian jokes. Even if I have heard most of those before.

 

What do you call a racist electric company?

White Power.

 

Hey, U just got one question.


Why is the main image of a forum dedicated to Harry Potter, an image of Anakin Skywalker?

 

I*

And Anakin is a pretty well-accepted definition of a Dark Lord. Besides which, the picture is supposed to be of Harry Potter adopting a similar pose to Anakin - which is, you know, meant to invoke ideas of similarities between them...

 

But it IS an image of Anakin... I even remember the scene from Ep.3.



I found it funny, thus I asked here.

 

I find it really fucking cool if you ask me.