WBA

/facepalm

 

Mysterious Disappearance of Sally-Anne Perks updated again, and it's a much better chapter, imo. Much better writing, and some interesting stuff about ghosts and portraits.

 

I keep reading SallyAnne, keep hoping for more, but am starting to resent the fact the author doesn't throw any clues out there. I want something to think about, and there just isn't anything in there, unless I'm missing something. Of course, I could be missing a bunch of clues, but that's how I'm feeling right after reading the chapter.

 

The first scene with the description of Voldemort's raid was done pretty well and set the tone for something epic I think, but it went all downhill from there.

The encounter with Blaise and Daphne was poorly executed I think, and the 'my savior needs a reward- a kiss' thing was /facepalm worthy. the style of the scene just went backwards of the previous scene.

Every scene with Hermione made me cringe. It was the standard canon stuff, but blown out of proportion. manipulative,nuthugging,misguided!hermione

The same can be said about most of the daphne/Harry scenes. Were was the romance? There was no build up at all.

There problem is that there is just not enough depth to the characters. Usually characters are built up so you can hate a few, and like a few, but I hate them all.

A scene that really bothers me is the scene where Harry confront daphne about having Bellatrix as a godmother. I mean, who gives a fuck? Sirius black is Harry's, and the majority of the world thinks he is a mass murderer, yet no one confronts him about that.

IDK, the story just seems poorly executed, poor transitions, and shallow characters. The awkward romance just tops it off. Really, is this the first thing you would think of after just having sex; "How would Hermione react? How would Ginny?" and he wonders if that means they are now officially a couple.... and the author actually used the name Ginny more times in that section than Daphne. Really. It plays out like a bad soap opera.

Of course Harry eventually tells Hermione... I mean come the fuck on, you should have figured it out by now that you don't kiss and tell with that kind of information, least of all the one female friend in your life who is going to overreacted at everything you do that she doesn't approve of.

Just another story to add to the list of fail HP/DG stories. 2.5/5. The grammar and spelling is fine, and it is readable if all you care about is the name Daphne, but there is nothing going for it.

And thats about all I have to say about the war in Vietnam.

 

Title: Harry Potter and the Ravenclaw Rebels
Author: Silent Magi
Pairing: Harry/Hermione
Rating: T
Linkage
Summary: Book 1: It's the first year for young Harry, and things just don't seem to be shaping up for him at all. But there is hope, as his first friend arrives like a shining beacon of hope in a sea of turmoil... Sadly that light only leads to chaos.

I searched to see if anyone posted this and I didn't see anything, but I'm also a bit out of it right now so I didn't search too hard. Anyway this is a Ravenclaw!Harry story that I've found myself enjoying lately. It has some of the pitfalls of Ravenclaw!Harry stories like Harry and co being way too smart for their own good. What I enjoyed most about this fic is Ravenclaw!Fred and George. Fred and George are second years that take Harry and Hermione under their wings as they try to establish their prank group to rival the marauders' legacy.

Great fic if you're bored, though it's far from library material.

 

Eh - I was barely able to finish chapter 2. The way they "introduced" Harry during the sorting ceremony was such a turn off, that I'll never touch this fic again. And minor details like Dumbledore facedesking and Malfoy snarling fit the picture.

Though people who are into this kind of plot will probably enjoy it.

 

^^ What he said. I thought this plainly ridiculus, and while that can be fun, it wasn't this time. Or at least I didn't think so.

 

It's been updated.

Everyone's been hating on this fic after the past couple of chapters, but I'm actually liking it. While as a Daphne fanboy I'm morally opposed to the way he's portrayed her, he's done exactly what he set out to do. Everything she did earlier in the story, all of her shifts in personality and her rapid progression of the relationship, was done with an objective. She advanced their romance quickly, knowing that it would tie Harry to her.

I appreciate the way he's presented Bella. She's clearly insane but takes great pride in her work. I think that she and Daphne share a similar mental state in this fic.

I agree that Hermione's characterization is annoying, but I can look past it since she's been a background character thus far.

The turn Harry takes part way through the most recent chapter is interesting, but opens it up to massive amounts of failure.

For now, I'll give it a 3.5/5, rounded up to a 4/5, with the caveat that it will fail if he doesn't handle the newest situation very well. But he's done a good job so far, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

I read the first couple of chapters of this about a week ago and honestly couldn't stand it.
Daphne is playing the typical role of "misunderstood" Slytherin.
The author only really has three characters; Harry, Daphne, and Hermoine. Seriously, there is almost no character development, other characters are mentioned but that's about it.
The only good thing about this story is the interesting twist that Bellatrix Lestrange is her godmother, however, this isn't even done well.
Overall this story falls into the category of "it's H/Daphne, I'll give it a shot" but ultimately falls flat on its face.
.5/5

 

Neither of you have read through the third chapter. I can understand not continuing a story after the first two chapters fail to capture your attention, but it really isn't what you think at all.

 

Last I read Daphne had just "tricked" Harry into a meeting w/ Bellatrix in Hogsmeade. I put "tricked" in quotes because the only person the author fooled was Harry, that's where I gave up, I read around 12,000 words and gave up, my theory is if the writing is solid but the story has no other redeeming qualities than you don't need more than 10,000 words to decide if you're going to like a story or not. Frankly I'd rather give up after 10,000 words then read 40,000 words of shit while waiting for the story to get better.

 

I posted that after I read chapter 3, and it failed to capture my attention after Harry was

Spoiler

betrayed

I was honestly rooting for no one, and I hoped he died just so the story would end on a cool note of Voldemort taking over the world.

None of the characters are very likable,and when the story is still in its infancy, it helps to have someone to root for. The way it has progressed so far, it just seems that any possible way he is going to try and make the romance continue on in some point would be unbelievable. (And as of chapter 4, it is still unbelievable. Its on

Spoiler

Daphne getting beat up by Bellatrix for no reason... I think most of us can see where that is going, even if that is not what the Author wants that is what it looks like and leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

) I think the author needs to stand back and look at the bigger picture.

 

Sorry, off topic, but it's driving me mad.

Sesc, are you ever going to post Unatoned, a Noir Story? Feels like it's been years since I first saw it in your sig.

Maybe I mixed it up with another, or maybe I'm just crazy.

Anyway, I feel like I've been dying to read it for forever.

 

A Reign of Fire, Harry Potter and apparently Robin Hood [?] crossover style fic.

Not perfect but it's worth a read. I don't like the OC introduced the last chapter.

 

Curious but how can anybody be a Daphne fanboy?
Tracy Davis,Mandy Brocklehurst,Sara Fawcett,Lisa Turpin and probably a few others have something in common with Daphne, Harry never interacted with them

Quite funny actually, during my quick research I found out that Li Su never existed in cannon but only in some early class list draft though I was so sure that she was part of his year.

P.S. It's all in the head...

 

Sally-Ann got updated again. Enjoyable but it still remains not quite library-worthy imo.

 

Pretty much this. I tried helping him out - got him to fix the first scene with Voldemort and the raid - but it didn't work out. He thought I had signed on to be his main beta. I hadn't and I tried to correct that misconception. Did not work out. End of story. Literally.

He's got a good grasp of writing, but poor storytelling. I told him once that reading his story was like being stuck in an Old Spice commercial: "Look down. Look up. Where are you? You're on a boat with the man your man could smell like..." I'll repeat what NMB said in WBA, he's too eager to post it and skips over a lot of the necessary transitions. And he screws himself over in the process 'cause he'll never learn how to be a better writer; he's just in it for the accolades and not the experience.

 

A creature!Harry where he becomes "highly sexual"? I am skeptical.

Also, this author's favorites list makes me scared. I have never seen something more horrifying than the hundreds of Twilight fanfics she has in her favorites list.

Although I have never had the courage to browse the drudges of the Twilight section of FFn either.