Title: Unsealed
Author: Esama
Rating: T
Genre: Undecided
DLP Category: Alternates
Pairing:None
Words: 4,803 (ff.net); 4,704 (AO3)
Status: Oneshot
Summary: After fifty years, the trial records of a special prisoner are unsealed and the details and motives of the most well known magical murder are revealed. Time travel Azkaban story, some character deaths mentioned, spoilers.

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6312958/1/Unsealed
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1115373

Comments: An Interesting Concept on the 'Time Travel' Idea.

4/5

Well written, but I don't think it has any future beyond a One-shot.


Checked by Minion, September 29, 2014
The story is no longer available on ff.net, but Esama reposted her stories on AO3. Thanks to Ayreon for the info.

 

Huh. That was an interesting read, but ... Some of it... I just didn't like.

Spoiler

Tom Riddle being Tom POTTER and marrying Myrtle of all people... Just meh. And the atmosphere of it.

So while an interesting read, I'd rate it at a 3 at highest.

 

I loved Sisyphus by the same author. So I'm gonna give this a serious go. Will edit when finished.

EDIT

Nice, very nice. Definitely library worthy, but it's no 5/5. There were some spelling mistakes that really irked me, like prophesy.

Spoiler

The way the interviewer turned out to be Moaning Myrtle and married to "Tom Potter" was overkill. It would have been much better if she stayed nameless throughout.

This would make a pretty good lengthy fic in the right hands but I don't think esama is capable of it.

Spoiler

But I'm so sick of redo fics I wouldn't have read it.

Someone like enembee would have done a good job at it,

Spoiler

but there are very few people who would be able to pull off an Unspeakable Harry, especially if he's in a child's body and, I assume, under an alias.

Spoiler

Vash, I disagree. I think Harry giving TMR to the Potters was a logical decision because he really doesn't know anyone else well enough for him to be able to trust. But marrying Myrtle? Definitely a no-no.

Overall, a solid 4/5.

 

A bit depressing but overall, it was okay I guess.

A different way of handling the timeline by going back really, really back. It somewhat reminded me of Altered Destinies. Funny that happened.

The writing style was good, the grammar and vocabulary was at par. Myrtle Potter was a surprise, not quite sure if it was pleasant or not, but a surprise nonetheless. Tom Potter, meh, I guess I could have swallowed that gob.

Writing - 1/1
Concept/Plot - 0/1 (unoriginal, really.)
Characterization - 0.5/1
Interest - 1/1
Overall effect - 0.5/1

Total - 3/5

 

I rate it a solid 4/5. I like it all, and while a bit of the rating is given because it panders to a few cliches I like, the technical aspects of it were good as well (although there were a number of small errors, due to typos). The lack of action would have brought this story down for me, except it's obviously not supposed to be action-oriented, and it's better off without.

Spoiler

I find it odd that Harry didn't know where the Ring was when Dumbledore found it, but he knew exactly where the Gaunts were, though.

Edit: I'm not sure how you came to the idea that the concept was completely unoriginal, Remmy. While some of the leading elements are old cliches, they are done better than I've ever seen them before, and I have never seen the two victims be killed by anything so simple before.

 

3.5/5 rounded up to 4/5. It's a new (to me) and interesting idea, which is a rarity nowadays. Execution was good enough.

The only thing I can't understand is why did Harry allow himself to be caught. Except the plot reasons, that is.

 

Ending didn't fit well with the atmosphere.

3/5

 

This story is worthy of the library. Solid 4/5 stars. The author is from Finland, so some errors are just to be expected. Like many others, I consider the whole Myrtle thingie a bit of an ambiguously pleasant surprise, but it's tolerable.

Spoiler

Fairly certain the elixir of life shouldn't work like that, but maybe that's just me.

It just occurred to me that my name means 1 star. Wtf was I thinking?

 

Hmm.... no, I don't think it's quite 4/5 material. I like it, I think it's decently written, and the idea is a pretty interesting idea. But I feel like there's a lot of missed opportunity here - I'm not such a fan of the faux-interview style for exposition, anyway. But I appreciate the concept, at least.

3/5 for me.

 

Yeah. :/

It seemed like a cheap out to not actually going into detail on what happened and why, etc. Its like one of those first-person stories that are entirely made up of "I did this"-'s and "I did that"-'s

 

I think this story deserves a 4/5.

It's not an original idea, but I don't mind. I enjoy alternate dimension and time travel stories a lot more then I should.

Also, if the author went into more detail then it would turn into a really long one-shot. I like the story the way it is, and it was a good read.

 

Eh, this idea could, in theory, work as a longer, chaptered fic. Would need a more talented author behind it though.

4/5.

 

Pretty good story. I think making it a one-shot was the right move-- I've seen way too many time travel multi-chaptered stories. The interview format while not my preferred format is used sparingly enough in the HP fanon for the format not to be considered overdone. It's not a classic and the writing rule of 'show not tell' is broken, but it works because of the premise.

4 stars.

 

This fic isn't exactly bad, but it's dead inside.

Spoiler

I feel like if the fic actually showed Harry going back in time and expanded on that narrative (coming up with a plan, deceiving them with the letters, maybe a little bit of dueling or combat thrown in somehow), and ended with the Nameless Assassin scene, it would have been pretty badass.

This 3/5 is utterly devoid of emotion.

EDIT: This is from the author of Space Haven! Suddenly everything becomes so clear...

 

I didn't like the ending like others.

Spoiler

Not fond of the use of the Elixir and Tom and Myrtle Potter.

The rest was pretty good. Interesting enough. 3,5/5 rounded up for voting.

 

I'll give it a 4/5.

Could have been 5/5, but the glaring spelling issues and general soullessness of the story kind of ruined that. The ending seemed like an attempt at a twist, but the twist was uninteresting, and the Elixir of Life (Which, if my memory serves, prevents the body from aging. I think the author confused it with the Fountain of Youth.) didn't really fit well with the general mood. That could have been forgiven if it was the prologue for an unspeakable!Harry story, but since it won't be continued, I felt it would have ended better with a 'and the hero died peacefully, a small smile on his face, knowing that he had finally saved the world'.

 

Solid 4/5. The plot was fairly original for a redo-fic, the type of which has been pretty much driven into the ground. The mix up between elixir of life and fountain of youth was annoying, but whatever. It had it's stretches for Harry, but none of them too out of character from what I see. Riddle is just as driven in a better environment, and although the whole who-is-interrogating Harry thing at the end seems to be a bit of a cop out, I'm not horribly disappointed in the slight twist.

I honestly expected a much more agnsty ending or some sort of mindfuck, and was prepared to rip the fic for it or praise it respectively, but the way it was written worked out okay- not the best possible by a long shot, but the fic wasn't obviously jarring in that respect either. Having the bulk of the fic remain the same, but having England united under a different Dark Lord Potter than the one we typically see would have been much, much better - the whole futility concept of any one individual altering the timestream could have been really awesome in the face of a twist like that.

Overall, it's better than some of the stuff that we have in the library, but by no means the top of the heap.

 

It is interesting but the idea itself is underdeveloped. Typical for an esama fic. Her fics have a tendency to be heavy on theory and character's thoughts and not much more.

It's a simple fic that you can spend maybe a rainy afternoon with but don't expect more of it.

3/5

 

Story is solid 4/5

It is obviously not an action story but well written.

about Elixir of life thingy. Same thing was done in The Innocence Of Guilt so it didn't bother me.

Overall nice story.