I'd almost forgotten what bile tastes like.

GTFO, DIAF

 

From evilbadgal16's profile

- is actually thrilled when i see my own blood (creepy right? i always wonder whether i've got vampire blood in me)
- thinks my dark and cool dungeon like room is my sanctuary
- stays up late to watch wrestling and practices those moves on my poor. unsuspecting pillow

My friends called me the tomboy or sometimes evil master... I'll admit it... I have a very sadistic mind and I use most of my brain to get pass chorres and punishments... plus I'm great blackmails... go figure...

You KNOW you live in 2010 when:
1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they
don't
have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.

I think that would better apply to 2004 than 2010.

 

A Life Turned Upside Down » by Williams reviews The summer before his sith year Harry finds that Dumbledore isn't the nice guy he protrays. His parents who were thought to be dead return from hiding and he's not happy. Independpowerful Harry. AU and characters will be OC.No Slash, No Flames PleaseRated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 190,553 - Reviews: 758 - Updated: 7-24-10 - Published: 3-13-06 - Harry P. & Hermione G.

And the Sith shall prevail... not too bad,but it's kinda funny in contrast of the story, I red only a few sentences, but--I recommend reading the second and third chapter...

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Audra Isabella Potter » by Sea of Topaz reviews Audra & Harry were left at the Dursleys. After 4 years Remus and Sirius take them away. Audra is scared of everything. What happens when the Cullens move in next door? Audra & Bella r the same people. HPXTwilight posted under both. Bella slightly OOC lateRated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 44 - Words: 143,798 - Reviews: 216 - Updated: 7-14-10 - Published: 8-25-08 - Harry P.

and this is just a big NO.I mean it.NO.

 

Risking it All » by TheAngystQueen reviews
Kidnapped by slave traders, Sirius has no choice but to sacrifice himself to keep his godson safe. How long can he survive until it all becomes to much and he loses himself in the world of the under ground mafia.
Rated: M - English - Crime/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,605 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 10-9-10 - Published: 9-6-10 - Sirius B. & Harry P.

Hi, I am TheAngystQueen, but you already know that! I am scary lazy so don't expect me to play any sports. I love writing so I will try to update often. I am egoistic or at least I think I am. I want to publish a best seller during my life time. I am so gonna be a writer so promise to look for my name in the papers

Thank you for reading my work!

THIS IS IMPORTANT:I have a second account called Vampirerule117 for more less mature fics. I would love it if you saw those too. Thank you

My Name: Huvra

Age: 14

Gender: Female

----------------------

What a marvelous masterpiece of stupidity.

 

Yeah, I regularly message random authors from ff.net and invite them for a game of soccer or tennis... lolwut?

 

OK? Let's go through this one by every few words. "When Harry goes through some changes," Oh dear lord, this is a creature fic isn't it, "the summer before his fifth year," Droll starting place as well. "His relatives don't react well." Fun, Dursley abuse maybe? "Suddenly Harry finds himself homeless and alone," Love the terming there, also the clicheness of it. " and learning to cope with yet another whole new world he'd never known existed." Fun another cliche right in the summary.

Also as a small review, it's better than it seems at first glance. Focusing on the pros first. It's competently written, a little bit of angst but not way to much, creature aspect is done well enough, if anything, rather than the standard Harry either accepting it instantly, or spending 50 chapter's agonizing over his change, the author seems to have found a somewhat decent balance. The royalty aspect is done decently as well. In theory at least, little fuzzy on all the details. Harry was actually a soul bonded to the princess, but soul bonding in this fic basically is a measure that you are slightly more compatible with someone. You can still have many other relationships. But, really why would the princess choose him as the heir if he was only soul bonded with her, and that means relatively little, and ARGH! ASPIE RAHGE! *breath* Harry is also given a child to take care of, he adapts about as quick as a normal parent. Takes about 3 weeks for him to truly get used to it, and he's still learning, as evidenced by the fact that when she get's a cold he freaks out and goes out looking for help, and Snape finally catches him. Harry's aunt's reaction is actually realistic for any christian considering he walked out of his room looking like a fucking demon. Some miscellaneous notes, Draco is still an asshole, Snape is still an asshole, Harry still hates Snape, Harry's reaction to finding out he had a different father is rather believable, IE not caring and continuing on as he was, Zabini seems to be decent, Zabini is a boy, everyone we've seen has their canon gender, Hermoine seems decently freaked out be Harry, Harry seems to react to his royalty decently, IE resenting it and the people who are attempting to foist it further upon him.

Now for the cons, it's a Creature Fic, it's a royalty fic, it's a severitus, it's a parenting fic, it's a Harry by another name fic, Harry goes by the name Tobias Batard, it uses the synced book cliche, it has allot of OC's which may or may not be fully developed in the future. Also it appears that there is a second Knockturn within Knockturn alley, as well as entire creature societies unknown to most of the wizarding world.

Eh, 3.3 out of 5. A decent, if slightly bland read.

 

You consider canon facts, such as Malfoy/Snape being assholes and Zabini being a boy to be pros? That should be a goddamn sign, if you can't find anything better.

 

In terms of creature fics, yes those are pro's. In terms of DLP or ANY OTHER GENRE, no they are not.

Also I do not believe this shall turn into slash. It could remain gen, or it could gain a pairing.

 

:facepalm:

 

There's one aspect about that summary I approve of: the author admits that the characters are "ooc". That puts this author slightly ahead of the majority of the slashers.

 

Well, such summaries support my theory that a lot slasher girls write slash because they use harry as a non explicit dickless selfinsert to shag whatever series/film crush actor they can.
The fangirls writing woman!harry are at least true to themselves and their audience that they are into self insertion.

 

Craiziness, Pixie Sticks, Much Fighting and WHAT! » by DarthAbby reviews A crazy and random fic of Warriors, Harry Potter, Eragon, Star Wars, Maximum Ride, my two great friends and I! LET THE COMEDY BEGIN! : T for painful deaths and reincarnations and minor cussing.Crossover - Star Wars & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,901 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 10-10-10 - Published: 8-4-10 - Obi-Wan K. & Ron W.

Obi-Wan & Ron? I smell an opportunity here! What a drama....

New Beginnings » by Princessy of the Dark Side reviews Edward is gay, so he leaves Bella, taking his family with him. Bella goes back to Hogwarts, and finds out that her mum, ex death eater Bellatrix Lestrange, is the new DADA teacher. What happens when the Cullen's go to Hogwarts?Rated: T - English - Horror/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,955 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-11-10 - Published: 10-5-10

You got just served....

Witch Doctor by Dexter Kelso This is a cross over of Doctor Who and Harry Potter. I was on youtube and saw videos for a romance between Doctor Who and Hermione and it didn't make since to me so i decided to write my own story to make sence of it. A work in progressCrossover - Doctor Who & Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 491 - Published: 10-8-10 - 10th Doctor & Hermione G.

I doesn't make since for me either...

 

wut



/Wall-O'-Text

 

Everyone who uses "summery" instead of "summary," in this context, should be slapped hard at least once.

Still, I fear that's the least of this writer's crimes.

This is what FFN looks like to me ATM...



Soooo much dross to sift through; at least this script makes it easier to deal with repeat offenders.

 

The summary of this fic barely scratches the surface. I clicked on it, and found such grotesqueries as this:

Maybe it should go into the WTF fics thread.

 

Pilfered Progeny Stolen Dreams » by SisterGryffin-SisterSlytherin reviews Harry and Draco as well as other wizards have had their sperm stolen to create children for profit! Who is behind it all? What is their ultimate goal? Alternate Universe HP/DM, CW/BZ/RW, OTHER MALE/MALE pairings.Rated: M - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 43 - Words: 323,709 - Reviews: 305 - Updated: 9-28-10 - Published: 7-21-09 - Harry P. & Draco M.

And I found it... the most bizarre idea I've ever seen in ff.

 

Braver man than I. Since discovering that some people (who really ought to be put to death) actually write baby!Harry smut, I've avoided AFF for anything other than brief lulz. And the wtf Fics threads could not hope to contain the torrents of shite that the retards who make up 99% of this fandom insist on writing.

In the meantime;

I think 'That's right. That means bestiality' takes the prize for most obvious summary statement ever when it's preceded by 'HagridxBuckbeak smut'.

Also... who the fuck are these people and why are they allowed anywhere near a keyboard?


Edit: I'm including the following and accepting that, yes, the prior two summary posts should have been put straight into the wtf fics threads. Psh.

 

Ewwww, it's slash! :awesome

Shouldn't that be "schoolmarm?"

 

Again. Breeding ban, I say!

Edit:

Um...?

 

They should have put out a sign 'Do NOT in any circumstances feed it,or poke it.No, not even with a 3-foot long stick.'