Thirteen year old fan girls e-penises?

 

Wait, am I the only one who thought of computer processors when I heard 'Harry James Potter The Phenom"?

 

Badass harry potter with Dual Core?

 

It exists. Or at least, I'm sure it must.

It'd probably be a 2005 indy!harry fic, where he'd have two hundred billion galleons, a super special wand from nocturne alley, made out of basylisk blood, snips, snails, and puppy dog tails, and Dual magical cores.

 

AMD or Intel? But seriously, once I read a fic where his wand core was from phoenix shit...

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets my version by Saphira1001
Year two of Hogwarts has begun for Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Saphira. What changes will occur this year, read and find out. please read is better than sounds.
Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,173 - Published: 10-25-10

Now who is Saphira?

SCARY GHOST STORY FETUSING CHUCK NORRIS » by Darksephiroth25 reviews
Harry sees a ghost but the ghost gets killed! I put chuck norris in the story becuase he is awesome and i want to be an actor and a writer just like him. please review my story and stuff
Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 507 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10-25-10 - Published: 10-20-10 - Harry P. - Complete

I'm scared.

 

I'm half expecting this to be a story where Norbert is actually Saphira from Eragon.:facepalm

 

And Hagrid will be the new Chosen One. The Dragon Rider.

 

When did Chuck Norris become a writer? It's also never a good sign if after two chapters the author still hasn't surpassed one thousand words.

 

I'm this scared.

 

^That is some scary shit.^​

1. Eros & Psyche » by RZZMG reviews
Draco challenges Harry & the Gryfs to play EROS, a scandalous card game. It's Slyth vs. Gryf, pride vs. desire, male vs. female! Who wins the game of hearts & amour? FIC CHALLENGE! HOT SHAGGING. Pairings-DMxHG,GWxBZ,RWxPP,SFxLB,TNxDG,HPxTD. A/U 7th year.
Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 189,253 - Reviews: 1385 - Updated: 10-26-10 - Published: 8-2-10 - Draco M. & Hermione G.

I'm not even sure how to make sense of this...

 

Easy; classify it as 'shit' in your mental folder, and then move on. :awesome

 

ignorance and innocence » by orangerebel reviews
Hermione has not lost her memory, her mindset is a bit younger for now. how shall snape deal with this. later chapters hg/ss. first fic
Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,514 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 10-27-10 - Published: 7-7-10 - Hermione G. & Severus S.

How will Snape deal with an immature Hermione? By having a relationship with her of course (that's not taking advantage of her at all!)

 

Second only to her by daisyinthefield2
Ode to chcolate, really... Remus loves chocolate, but he loves Tonks too... that's about it... xD
Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 479 - Published: 10-28-10 - Remus L. & N. Tonks

I present you this.

changing harry potter philosipher stone by typical quiet girl
the marauders, lily, snape, harry, ron, hermione, tonks, ginny, luna, neville, frank, regulus and alice have all been sent to the room f requirment for a bit of reading. p.s; ginny and harry haven't gotten together yet so romance will be involved ;
Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,370 - Published: 10-28-10

Free the Shift!

Hermiones new life by Potterfangirl14
After Hermione catches Ron With Lavender she dicided to breakup with him once and for all and started singing Que sera on her muggle guitare, She then dicides to leave the Wizarding World behind and Become fully Hannah Montana Forever! No more Hermione!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Hannah Montana - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 640 - Published: 10-25-10 - Hermione G. & Hannah M./Miley S.

Pure Awesomeness

 

Humanity is doomed.

 

I almost expected her name to end in Raven Way when it said that it was a fake name.

 

Harry and Tracey? sure. not sure how the fuck he managed 190k words out of that though

 

Liez.


/Wall-O'-Text

 

It scares me on what people will use as "plot" even though those plots have no rhyme or reason to even exist. How in the world did the marauders and lily come back to life? Heck even regulus makes and appearance. Regulus. As in Regulus Black? That Regulus.


I want to strangle someone. I don't give a damn of who to strangle.:facepalm

 

The way I see it is there are three ways,

1) Alternate Universe - nothing canon matters.

2) Crackfic - nothing else matters.

3) Crappy!Author - nothing matters.

As for Regulus, who knows, I'm not going to read it.

 

I'm amazed that, 200 posts into the sixth of these topics, people are still feeling anything but dull pity and light exasperation for these ffnet garbage fics.