Title: Feathers of Darkness
Author: PastaSentient
Rating: M
Genre: Adventure
DLP Category: Other Fandom
Pairing: Tim Drake/Fleur
Status: WIP
Summary: Tim Drake was tortured to the brink by the Joker. The Batman abandoned him to a psychiatric ward. He escaped with the help of some friends. Now he lives in London, where he is about to get the surprise of his life. "You are a wizard, Mr. Drake."
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6507945/1/Feathers_of_Darkness

 

Needs more work bro. I got through two chapters before my eyes felt like someone was running rusty razors over them. I jest.


But seriously, just awful.

 

I had a review that was gaining in length, but your story is a blowoff thing so you can get through your writer's block for a story that I'm sure is a masterpiece, and I'm not going to put more thought into a review than you put into the actual fic.

Short version: Stop the bashing, eliminate the contrivances. Don't write a crossover if you can't think of a better way to get a character from one setting to another.

1/5. The Other Fandom section of the forum is less strutinized, but you're still not going to slip a story this terrible through the cracks.

 

Thanks for the honesty. If anyone has any suggestions on how to improve my writing style I would much appreciate it.

 

While this isn't the place to ask this (and shame on you for thinking that asking for help will diminish the fact you tried to post this in "OTHER fandoms"), I can say that your writing it technically sound... I didn't notice anything glaring, however, your plot is rather thin. The dialogue is sketchy too.

Nevermind that it is filled to the brim with tropes. Eugh. I almost stopped reading when I read, "Sensei Cage".

There really is no fast cure for improving your writing at this stage, I would say, read more. If you find yourself resorting to using devices like "sensei cage" to move the story along - you've got to get more experience reading.