Title: Harry Potter and the Trust
Author: Meandering Fox
Rating: T
Pairing: None
Status: WIP, 19 chapters, 108k words
DLP category: Time Travel
Summary: Harry goes to sleep at 31, but wakes up on his 10th birthday in the cupboard under the stairs. Voldemort is still alive, as are many others. Can Harry end the second war before it starts? DH compliant, mostly. Bill, Remus, Dumbledore, and many more...
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3963087/1/Harry_Potter_and_The_Trust

I can't believe this isn't in the Library. I searched several times for it, but nothing came up so I guess it's just been missed. I first read it over a year ago. I must have forgotten to recommend it.

Anyway, this is without a doubt the best time-travel re-do fic in the fandom.

It's well written, well characterised, it's long, the plot advances rapidly, and most importantly, shit gets done.

There's no hanging around at Hogwarts going over his Hogwarts years with minor differences here. No paedophilic lust for 11 year old girls. No super-friends.

No.

As soon as Harry is back in time, he immediately begins seeking Voldemort's end, school be damned.

5/5

 

Merlin Hawk animagus.

Anyway, pretty good so far (halfway through chapter 2). Will edit with full response another time.

 

I'm going to go read this. I trust you not to let me down.

Edit1: Not bad so far, but the Noble Houses just sprung up.

Edit2: No scene breaks. Rather offputting.

Edit3: Feline Patronus. Of course. Because a stag wasn't good enough.

Edit4: 6 chapters down. Not that into it so far. 3.5/5 so far.

Edit5: Goblins respect Harry. Of course. And Arthur is held back by the bigotry of the pureblood elite. Ignoring of course that he's heading a department of things he enjoy's doing and has put into law several things.

Edit6: Nimbus Lightenings. Why not. Its not like there isn't a Nimbus broom from canon to do the job... oh wait.

Meh. I'm not seeing a 5/5 here, Taure. The mentions above are just niggling points really, but its not that good a story. 3.5/5 or 3/5 is what I'm seeing.

 

It was one of the first fics I ever read, and it was fairly decent for that, but slow update rate, random character deaths, and insanely overpowered!diarymort makes this 4/5 instead of 5/5.

 

Eh? One character has died in 100k words, and it made a fair amount of sense.

As for the Diary Riddle, we've haven't seen him yet.

Are you sure you've got the right fic?

Houses calling themselves noble is canon. Further, the fact that the Longbottoms call themselves noble was mentioned once and had no impact on the plot. Sensitive much?

We know that Patroni change form when there's a change in character. You seriously think 17 year old Harry would have the same character as his 31 year old self? And I'm not sure where you're getting this idea of "good enough" from. They're exactly the same in terms of utility - it's just the representation that's changed.

Lol. Goblin. Singular. And he respects Bill - who we know works with Goblins - and Bill works with Harry. So it makes a fair amount of sense.

I take this to not just be a random change for the hell of it, but a subtle indicator of the way everything is changing due to Harry's actions, to the point where his information is getting unreliable.

... this really brings me back to the discussion we had in the fanfic section recently, "How much change is too much?". In this case, the fic is advertised as a redo fic, and the entire purpose of it is to change things. If you object to the fact that things have been changed then... well, you shouldn't have clicked on the story.

 

Only Noble House in Canon was the Blacks. And we know that lot was pretentious if nothing else. And yes, I am a bit sensitive. Because few people (Methane) pull of Noble Houses right in a Harry Potter fic.

We do?

And I'm questioning the change of representation. What purpose does it serve?

Harry supposedly made treaties with the Goblins on behalf of the ministry, which is where he met Ragnok, I'm assuming. Why? He was Head Auror or just a regular one. Do Police/Army commanders negotiate on behalf of Her Majesty's Government with autonomus domains/banks? :awesome

If that's the case, then that's a rather strange butterfly. Would make a bit more sense though.

Oh, I don't object to the pace of change, I'm just saying that this story is mediocre. While the above mentions were niggling points or really small points of concern, I was neither drawn into the story, not enthralled by the events that took place, nor immersed in the dialogue, which is what a 5/5 story does; in my opinion.

So, I went to the next slot: 4/5. An enjoyable fic that can be read multiple times. Considering I didn't finish it 9 chapters in, it certainly wasn't that. The dialogue was okay, but still not 4/5. The characters seemed a bit wooden at times, the pace of some events seemed off, plus the aformentioned events weakened my enjoyment of it. Hence the 3/5. An average fic with decent points here and there, but 9 chapters in, not rising above being average.

TL;DR: I politely disagree with your opinion on the rating of this story.

 

Yes. Tonks' changes in HBP to mirror her depression over Lupin, to the shape of a wolf.

Exactly as I said: it shows that he's grown up. For the protector of his soul to be his father is somewhat childish. By changing it to a feline (which makes me think of Ginny, for some reason) it demonstrates the fact that he has his own family now, and is forward facing rather than looking back.

Right. Why can't the Longbottoms be pretentious too?

Ah, you were referring to his old life.

...and dude. He's Harry Potter.

With respect to the rest: meh. Personal opinion I suppose.

 

Right, forgot about that. I was vaguely wondering if it was something with Tonks, but my books are 15 hours away by plane. :facepalm

Makes a bit more sense, now.

Because I doubt a standing body like the Wizenagamot would pay heed to a pretentious self-given title? *shrugs*

By the mentions of Albus Severus and Lily, I assumed epilogue was canon in the story. *shrugs*

... And? Why would that mean anything to the Goblins, besides being the dude involved in sacking Gringotts and costing them their shot at the Gryffindor sword. They might have taken it more as an insult, actually.

 

I hate it when characters just faint like that in fics. Nobody in real life would faint if you said something like that.

 

2 characters, and we see diary riddle in chapter 18...

 

I read this a long time ago, and gave up on it because it is so godawfully boring. For the great majority of the fic, of what is published so far I admit, everything is going right for Harry.

While a plethora of characters are introduced and constantly brought up, somehow they are impersonal; it is difficult to appreciate their complexity because much of what is interesting about them or their condition is just told instead of shown.

I'm all for taking time to develop a story but this is like reading a ton of words that are just skimming over plot points or introducing them in a list fashion: A after B, then C, etc.

Yawn worthy.

3/5 because it is just average.

 

I think the reasons why I like it are the reasons why you guys dislike it: namely everything goes right for Harry.

As far as I'm concerned, this is the rational conclusion to any re-do fic where Harry has the knowledge he has.

What I enjoy about the story is that it's so sensible.

 

I like this story. Not perfect, but I have a soft spot for it getting to the point of things more than most other redo fics, and I particularly liked the little changes that occur, from character deaths (the Chamber of Secrets battle was particularly brutal, which I loved) to tiny personality changes and Harry's reaction to those changes. Some things do feel a bit easy and some of the folks getting informed of the time travel take it a little too well, but that is probably the point of the "Trust", so no real gripe with that.

Some things felt off, though - Merlin hawk animagus form, random magical panthers that show up in one flashback scene and a couple of jarring time skips, for example.

Combine that with the unfortunate update rate, and I'll say that it might deserve a spot in the Library... just. I just read through it all straight and I'm not even sure, but I think if the story gets back on track and as it progresses, there'll be some developments that'll make its spot in the Library feel more earned. So yeah, I'll vote for the library, but nothing higher unless I see more and it hits some stronger plots as the war heightens rather than the "forming the Trust and making changes" stuff.

 

It's an interesting story, decent writing but the way the author writes several scenes at once one paragraph at a time is a bit annoying. Those parts of the story are the worst.

Plot wise, I love time travel, but up until the last two chapters there really hadn't been any good conflict in the story. Maybe that will be improved upon since it seems the story is just starting to take off, but maybe not.

I'd give it a 4/5, my main gripes being those two and the very slow update rate.

Also what the fuck was the point of the panther thing? That seemed pretty lame and just tossed in randomly. That whole scene was shitty, and I think the story would be better off without it. I don't mind Harry's patronus changing at all, I'm just referring to the kidnapping chapter.

 

Read it a long time back and got bored with it for pretty much the same reason as Nuhuh.

This is just a personal preference, but what I like to see in a re-do fic is for Harry to plan everything to do correctly and properly only for everything to go batshit insane. It illustrates the Butterfly effect quite nicely. Just like Nuhuh did with his fic. That's what I'd like to see in a re-do fic. It becomes rather boring if the protagonist faces no challenge while defeating his adversaries. The fic becomes a curb stomp and I've never been fond of those.

On a completely different note, Nuhuh you need to update Catharsis.

 

Eh. I really liked it for the first couple of chapters, but it started becoming a chore by the start of chapter 12. I didn't make it through the whole thing, but if I had, it would've been between 3/5 and 4/5.

I particularly disliked the characters, and how they reacted. Hermione screams at Harry for *gasp* bringing her outside, while Harry cowers in fear of the super dangerous eleven-year old. And towards the middle part of the story, the personalities and reactions of each person began to blend into each other, going so far as to make people out of character in their reactions to things. Not to mention, this fic also suffers from loose lips syndrome; Harry Potter cannot keep a secret about himself for more than a few months, in 99% of fanfiction.

Something I noticed that I dislike here is how social Dumbledore is with people. I know he's a nice, smart fellow, but he's not your grandfather; he doesn't invite any person with ears in off the street to chat. He has shit to get done. I've seen this is other fics I considered mediocre, but I couldn't pinpoint the problem I had with it until now.

 

Everyone in this story masquerades as an alcoholic, and it's tiresome. It just comes across as the author trying to be ADULT and EDGY.

Agree with the other critiques here. Scene in the Chamber was fantastic, though. On alert.

I think it's intended to be the precursor to the 2000, which IIRC didn't come out until Harry's first year.