Don't stop now, Andro - you got to add something Original to this plot.

Not only does wizardkind hate the Veela, it's been discovered that using Veela heartstrings yields a wand that makes the Elder wand look like Ron's old broken one.

Also, Harry is severely injured during his fight with Fleur. Let's say he's now paralyzed from the waist down, but the French Ministry has devised the perfect disguise - a male Veela simulacrum that will allow Harry to not only walk and fight again, but allow him easy access to the Veela stronghold. Let's call it an avatar.

Now, Harry goes in with the intent to cunt-punt Fleur and the other Veela, make himself a superwand from her bloody avian heart and heal his legs, all while making a fuckton of Galleons in addition to getting his revenge.

Only when he gets there, he starts to realize just how awesome this Veela land is, how in tune with nature they are, and how evil those goddamn wizards are for trying not only to fuck up the homeland but kill all these misunderstood Veela as well. Harry goes native and fights for the Veela against a veritable army of bloodthirsty wizards bent on raping the land and the Veela.

That sounds pretty original, right?

 

No, that sounds suspiciously like an Avatar (James Cameron) ripoff.

 

I think that was the point, Andro?

 

Sounds like the Veela are dicks and they deserve to be wiped out.

Also, your Harry sounds completely lame. Like a passive window for the reader to see how like, totally awesome the Delacours are, rather than a proactive protagonist.

 

I think it depends on how the backstory is set-up/explained. You could make them dicks, you could make them awesome, you could make it unclear.

I don't get that sense. I see someone who was duped by close? friends. Up till the end of the plot bunny he's really just been a friendly guy who protected his friends, but still did the job of investigating them. What happens after that really determines whether he is lame or not.

The plot bunny didn't make the Delacours out to be totally awesome either. Fleur beats Harry in a duel that she's prepared for and he hasn't. That's about the extent of the 'awesome Delacours' that was outlined.

It's not an inherently terrible plot bunny.

 

So far, all he's got Harry doing in the entire fic is babysitting a family (this family being the main focus of the fic, not our protagonist) before being screwed over by them.

Not exactly the most heroic tale.

 

Ah see I interpreted the bunny as kind of an outline for the first few chapters with the meat of the story still to come.

 

I have a vague idea of what my story will be like, though still not sure how it will unfold or end. I'm working on it, and have started writing a sort of prologue. Plot bunny was unclear like that.
Will surely need a beta. That way, it may have some chances of not being a complete failure.
If anyone wants to help me, tell me.
P.S:If there is a thread where to ask for beta readers, sorry about that, kindly point me to it.

 

Harry Potter Work by Author... All the betas you'll ever need.

 

Now if ever there was a good plot device for a HP porno, this is it.

 

New Harry/Fleur
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5960366/1/Insecure
AU: Who knew that being a quidditch superstar can be so dangerous? That's the question she's asking herself. Follow the life of the daughter of France's minister of magic as she tries to survive, playing as starting seeker for France's National Team.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,639 - Reviews: 34 - Updated: 12-16-10 - Published: 5-10-10 - Fleur D. & Harry P.

Overall I don't really care for the story so far, it's light-hearted but something about it is just off. Also, the fact that the author felt the need to make the entire English national team Harry's old Gryffindor team.

 

FUBAR'ed plot-line. Ron as the "BWL"? Pass.

 

I wouldn't call it a new Harry/Fleur fic.
And Ron as the BWL? Could actually be interesting... if done right, without tripping all the clichés of Ron being stupid, arrogant, lazy, and shit.

 

Letters » by TheEndless7 reviews
Students are required to write to a pen pal in the spirit of 'International Cooperation.' New friendships and a new romance arise going into the fourth year at Hogwarts.
Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,240 - Reviews: 60 - Updated: 12-17-10 - Published: 12-6-10 - Harry P. & Fleur D

Been updated. Can't remember if this one was discussed in here or the Almost Recommended thread but there you go.

 

Well, damn. A new H/F story and the author already seems to be rapidly approaching the "Dumbledore stole your money/Petunia is nice/every foreign school is superior to Hogwarts" boundary.

 

The first chapter left me skeptical and the second chapter takes hard right into absolute fail. Petunia has suddenly become rational, relatively nice, normally adjusted human being. She's taking an interest in his life and explaining things to him? Just no.

Another story joins the legion of crap suffocating FFN

 

While something like this may, just may have been interesting to go through if it was developed throughout the story, it was just painful to read in a second chapter. This story is going from almost okay to very bad...

 

The story is failing! Seratin, GO!

 

Both chapters have been edited slightly and reuploaded if anyone wanted to go back to it.

 

If I could give a 0/5 I would. My god that was terrible.