Title: Shards of Time: The Master of Death
Author: Shitsumeishi
Rating: T
Genre: none
DLP Category: Time Travel/ AU
Pairing: none
Status: WIP
Summary: Harry Potter is just an eccentric school boy with some unusual talents. Lord Peverell-Black, on the other hand, is a magically and politically powerful man with the world at his fingertips and a war at his doorstep. Time travel, no pairings.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5231770/1/Shards_of_Time_The_Master_of_Death

Weeell let me preface by saying this isn't the most amazing, original fic ever, but it's kept me occupied. I'd say that's its main shortcoming--so far it has hit a lot of the major landmarks of your average time travel. That's not to say that it has no original ideas--there are a few fairly good ones--just don't be surprised if a lot of things seem kind of familiar, hehe.

What redeems it, though, is the author has a pretty faultless style, and despite the fact that you may guess where the story is headed at any given moment, it's still an enjoyable ride. Harry here is bright without being obnoxious, friendly without being condescending, and just someone you won't mind rooting for.

Like I said, it's nothing epic so far, but if you're looking for some good quality fare while you wait for your favorites to update, you wouldn't go wrong with this one. It's only at 8 chapters so far, but seems to have a pretty good update rate. Check it out.

 

I must correct you. I waited more than year for the newest chapter. Author says new updates will be faster but who knows ?

I like story so far, nothing earth-shattering in it but I feel it is still too early to really rate it.

 

Oh wow, you're right! For some reason I saw a '10' instead of '09'. My bad. Hopefully the author is back on board for reals.

 

Wasn't impressed at all. The author seems to be trying to pack every single cliche possible into the story.

Harry immediately 'befriends' a ridiculously intelligent snake with esoteric abilities, that will play a 'major role' in the story. He becomes a Lord three times over, inherits a a wholly unnecessary number of vaults making him filthy rich. He's immediately emancipated on arriving at Gringotts and "magic itself recognizes him as a Lord".

Two conversations with Malfoy change his character enough that the Hat has difficulty sorting. Quite frankly, the idea that he had any effect on Malfoy that quickly is ridiculous. Malfoy is 11 and thinks Harry is 11. Harry immediately challenges everything he's been taught, and talks in a way that could easily be interpreted as condescending. An 11 year old (Malfoy) would either get angry at him or laugh at him, not be swayed be what he said.

At least its well-written and Harry doesn't immediately blab the secret of time travel.

2/5 for decent writing.

 

So far this outshines other time-travel stories with that particular divergence - King's Cross Deathscape. This may seem to use some cliches, but they make sense in context and it would likely be worse if it didn't use them.

 

The snake really is ridiculously intelligent, because it appears to have figured out a way to shrug, despite the lack of shoulder.

 

Gay. I thought the fandom collectively decided it was done with these stories and retired them three or four years ago. It might be marginally more readable if the characters weren't too preoccupied smirking at each other.

The writing is technically faultless, but that does not count for much in my book.

1/5. One of the last stragglers waiting to be put out of its misery.

 

Hm, I must be really struggling for good reading material or something. Compared to a lot of the newer stuff I've been wading through, it struck me as decent. . It may be time to reread me some Black Comedy, lol.

 

Yeah, Andromalius is being a bit harsh, I think. While there isn't much, yet, to set it apart from, say, "Back Again, Harry?" (apart from the far superior writing), it's only 50k words in and he's pretty much gotten past all of the cliches. The snake thing didn't really bug me, except for being able to detect wizards and speakers, though I can't see that having a huge impact on the plot. If I understand correctly, politics is going to play a fairly large role in this story, which isn't often seen in time travel fics, and I'm looking forward to that.

Also, Rusty: are you ever going to continue Ectomancer? If not, could you release the plotting for the rest of the story to provide closure for us poor souls?

 

The political part is really the part I'm looking forward to.

And yeah, I'm still working on ectomancer. I'm actually in the midst of a rewrite--though the destination hasn't changed, the disorganized snarl of the plot had been pissing me off and keeping me from moving forward. :/ But yeah, I'm really gonna try to have something up by Christmas, lol.

 

THAT IS SO AWESOME
/derail

 

Not bad, but not good yet.

The writing is solid, if unoriginal, but nothing has really happened yet. I'd say its too early to rate at this point. Which is odd, considering it's 50k words in. So far, it's an average story. I'm just waiting for something interesting to happen beyond what I've seen in 50 other stories. This may have better writing than most re-do stories, but somehow I think it's going to suffer from the same major fault almost all the other ones have: never reaching the actual conflict.

 

Not a great explanation but an explanation nonetheless.

 

It's a perfectly legitimate explanation given that snakes don't have ears and thus parseltongue and all related communications with snakes are completely magical in nature..

 

I did not know snakes don't have ears, and Google explains how they might hear Parseltongue. Regardless, I don't see how a snake can send you vibes explaining "Hey! It doesn't look like it but I am shrugging, xD".

 

Dislike.

Dislike anthropomorphic personifications of death in HP fanfic.

Dislike the way he's bent accidental magic into an invincible "wish and you get" plot device. If accidental magic worked like that there'd be no need to learn controlled magic.

Dislike the way Harry's just going along with events more or less like they were in canon. E.g. "he had to wait for his letter to Hogwarts to come". Why? Why be passive and just wait for things to happen?

Dislike the snake.

Dislike him being heir of Black (Potter obviously makes sense, Peverell is justifiable, but Black doesn't).

Dislike how easily he gets access to Bellatrix's vault.

Dislike the convenient "feeling of wrongness" that made him put on the necklace.

Dislike goblins.

Dislike the technology rant.

Dislike fail versions of legilimency and occlumency.

Dislike magical cores.

Dislike uber!sorting hat.

Dislike badly written flashbacks.

Dislike convenient kleptomaniac Fawkes.

Dislike going pale and shaking upon remembering an unpleasant fact.

Dislike.

 

After how many more posts can I start thumbing up?

 

There you go, I'll do it for ya . The sad thing is, I actually agree with all that stuff. :/

 

Heir of Black -as a cliche- I can understand. In Sirius' eyes, it's better for Harry, who has tenuous blood links to the Black family in addition to being his Godson, to be Lord Black than Draco Malfoy, a known Death Eater spawn.

Peverell, I could also understand, although I don't think there'd be anything to be inherited from that title, at least. (Hallows non-withstanding due to their nature/history).

But yeah, dislike for the rest of the cliches.