I read the stories.:facepalm
If you are actually searching for H/F, don't. It's more like Harem than it is Fleur, and it becomes insanely ridiculous in Book 4. Even more so than the summary would suggest.

 

Stewie Kills Voldemort by trachie17 reviews
Stewie shows up during the Final battle and does everyone a favor. Do I need to say more? Features everyone's favorite evil little baby! My first one shot!
Crossover - Family Guy & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 735 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12-16-10 - Stewie G. & Voldemort - Complete

I'm tempted to read...:fire

 

Left Alone reviews Ginny left him a month after he defeats the dark lord. Ron and Hermione has no more time for him so he takes matter into his own hands. I typed this out on my itouch and copied and pasted onto a document that was already up.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,761 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11-21-10 - Harry P. & Hermione G. - Complete

The fact that this author has the audacity to type his stories on an iPod and then not even try to check it is just :facepalm...

EDIT: And to add to the lulz, this is this guys profile:

How bad grades hinder one's train of thought I just don't see.

 

I found this piece of crap fic bellow when browsing the Hellsing section of ff.net for some old fashioned slaughter fics, I read the summary of the fic and thinks: Oh, a fic that will contain some slaughter of the abomination that is twilight vampires.

But my dream was not to be, instead I got pussyfied Hellsing characters.
Here is an example: Andersson gets beaten by Edward.

Exscuse me while I go and purge this abomination from my mind with a marathon of Hellsing Ultimate.

The Big Hellsing: The Forks Affair » by Master of the Boot reviews Millennium was destroyed, but the conflict never ends. With their backs against the wall, Hellsing will fight a war that will reshape the world as we know it, and Forks is the new battle ground. Welcome to the Big Hellsing. Crossover with Twilight.Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 33 - Words: 170,896 - Reviews: 265 - Updated: 11-13-10 - Published: 7-23-08 - Alucard & Integra

 

Dark Meet Light » by C.Taylor.S reviews

In 2017 Harry & Hermione's daughter Lilly disappears. In 1975 a young red head girl appears at Voldemort's. She has to get home without revealing anything that changes the future, Can she? H/HR,R/L,N/G,D/P,Rem/Tonks Warnings: Death, Swearing, Sex! R&R!

Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 63,773 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 12-20-10 - Published: 6-19-09 - Harry P. & Hermione G.

- - - Another One - - -​

Hostage Harry » by randombookworm reviews

I have kidnapped Harry Potter because I was bored.

Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 6,459 - Reviews: 40 - Updated: 12-21-10 - Published: 8-19-09 - Harry P.

Here's the first chapter...

 

I suppose the author jacks off to Times Magazine, then?

 

Why is it I don't even ... :facepalm

Oh I'll review her alright. Anonymous reviews can't be traced, can they? Wouldn't want to be banned :/

 

Betrayal by Blood » by Lady Aphadriel-order of the kai reviews Year 7 with Emma, Harry, and all. DH version! After Dumbledore's betrayal, Emma is left to pick up the pieces and help Harry with his unknowingly suicidal mission by betraying him herself. EDr, RHr, HG, NL, othersRated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 84,313 - Reviews: 152 - Updated: 12-21-10 - Published: 6-21-08 - Draco M. & OC

Who's Emma?

 

I'm sure they mean who you think they mean but that they didn't mean to put that. Get what I mean?

I'm j/k they are idiots and wanted Emma instead of Hermione I guess.

Edit: Never mind I just saw the R/Hr up there so idk who Emma is either.

 

No, because we have a EDr, which is Emma/Draco, and a RHr, which is Ron/Hermione. Or so I think.

/conclusion: retarded author is retarded.

 

Harry's Godson » by maidenboy

Teddy is Harry Potter's godson. I'll leave it at that. This story definitely isn't finished yet.

Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,347 - Updated: 12-21-10 - Published: 12-20-10 - Voldemort & Bellatrix L.

- - - -

 

EDIT: Ninja'd by NuitTombee

The pairing is what confuses me the most here.

 

Why, she's Harry's long-lost relative, of course! Emma -> short for her initials, M.A., which stand for Marysue Author-Insert.

The Year My Life Began » reviews (same author)
See Profile longer summary. Emma is the forgotten and thought dead relative of Harry. She and Harry have more in common than he knows and She has some abnormal abilities of her own, abnormal for even the wizarding world. Did I mention Draco? Draco/EmmaHarry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 14,209 - Reviews: 52 - Updated: 8-6-07 - Published: 4-24-06 - Draco M. & OC - Complete

 

I'm speechless.....

 

Is it supposed to be a crack!fic?

 

I think it'd make for a fun read in a did-he-seriously-write-that sort of way. So long as the writing is decent. I'll go check it out, and be back with feedback.
No seriously, I have this urge to read it. I think it'll make me lol.

EDIT: I was right. At least the author can write, despite writing shit. I lol'd, excessively, at the hilarity of it. Just think of every single power up and ability you have read in crappy Indy-fics, add about fifty more, and you have it. He even makes his own brooms(the best brooms in the world, I might add), and can cook omelets with strawberry filling that are delicious.
There's been no mention of Twilight as of yet. Though i hope he wont update it.
Just :awesome

 

Supermassive Black Hole by Aisling-Siobhan reviews

Vader/HP Gift-fic for Excentrykemuse. The only thing Darth Vader expected when the Exactor emergency landed on Naboo was to re-live some painful memories. He never expected his subordinates to purchase him a concubine. Slash. Crossover. Suit!sex. AU.

Crossover - Star Wars & Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,414 - Reviews: 19 - Published: 12-21-10 - Darth V. & Harry P. - Complete

- - - - Another One - - - -​

My Thoughts, His Life » by AnonymWriter reviews

I sense his every move, his every breath. I have him where I want him. I brush my hand against his neck, the ache worming through me. I want… No, I need. Edward/Harry SLASH! For all the hopeless romantics out there...

Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 47,432 - Reviews: 166 - Updated: 12-21-10 - Published: 11-16-10 - Harry P. & Edward - Complete

 

So I clicked on this, you know, for the lulz; at first it seemed to be an emo!Harry fic and then somehow it turned into a Harry rapes Hermione fic.

Yeah. I'm not too sure how that happened either.

A little gem from the story.

 

Wait, there's more? I haven't met any yet. Any that are at least partially believable?

 

What you MUST not forget is that Harry gets drafted for the American National Quidditch Team at the age of... like... 5 :facepalm