Can someone say tl:dr?

Go to bed, wake up, then find a small novel published debating whether or not snape is bat animagus.

 

Yeah, you guys (Demons In The Night) are right. Lets get this thread to 200 pages of derail because you are bored! It's cool because whether Snape was an animagus or not in canon is pretty vital to the discussion of this fanfic story and definitely needs this thread as a location to debate about it.

 

Let's get back on topic. We already talked about possible Amimagus forms for Harry and Calypso (if it wasn't so cliche I'd bet she will be lioness), but what about Kira? My guesses - the black widow or the mantis. That would give Krum a pretty good reason to stop dating her .

 

Snape says "there is no going back".

What has been seen cannot be unseen.

 

He could, but after emphasizing how the trait runs in families I don't think it's likely. He especially emphasizes how prevalent Animagi are in the Potter family. Everyone knows James is one and Calypso's list says his grandfather was also one. There are a number of comments about how often Potters are Animagi. I find it unlikely that the trait would skip Harry after showing up so consistently in the last few generations.

My guess is that she's going to follow the tradition of the Megara bloodline and lack an animagus form. Pump up more animus between her and the others, and add a sore point between her and Viktor.

 

She probably won't get one. It's already been established that it's a rare gift (10% of the pop. or something) and that her family doesn't have it. Establishing that and then giving the ability to all of Harrys friends is statistically improbable for the story, and a bit weak plot-wise.

Plus, it'll throw her over the edge when she realizes how hard she's worked, all for nothing. That'll be an interesting scene.

 

I actually think he's going to keep Harry from achieving his animagus for a while.

Either to allow him to experience failure or to allow Harry to achieve it at just the right moment. Or to be a learning experience i.e. Harry fails at becoming an animagus so has to do something else even more awesome for his project, using all the Transfiguration skills he developed during training to be an animagus (self-transfiguration is pretty handy).

Or to justify turning him into a thunderbird.

 

lol

Nice bit of humor to make a point, but I do not think any wizard goes around wearing a giant Batman-esque cape like this; hence my skepticism at the "billowing cloak" explanation.

 

True. But does it say that every member of every generation of the Potters is an animagus/has the gift of becoming an animagus? I could imagine for example Nathan having the 'gift' (though it's unlikely that he's going to find out in the very near future), and Harry doesn't, adding some more tension between the two of them.

It might even be possible that Nathan is becoming an animagus very soon. Don't forget, in BWL, James, Remus and Sirius are all very much alive. So for example Sirius could try to teach his godsons in the next summer break, where Nathan finds out his form. Harry however, already failed during the school year. Could be interesting... or not. Scrap that.

 

I don't remember any specific passages connecting Snape to a bat, but it really depends on whether he was wearing robes and a cloak, or just robes. I do not think regular robes billow enough to create a bat like effect, even if you are wearing the loosest, baggiest, Dudley sized robes. If you want to say his cloak was billowing, then that is fine, if he was indeed wearing a cloak at that moment.

But I think this argument has been run into the ground, and in retrospect this entire exercise has been a waste of time, bandwidth, and mental energy, so I'll just drop the subject.

 

One more thing about Kira - I wonder what will be (if she will get any) her role in the future of this fic. Right now she is rival of Calypso, which is not really important, and Krum's girlfriend, which is the reason we know her in the first place. Still there is a big possibility that her relationship with Krum will break before end of this year (if not, it would be nice to see what exactly changed in this world that Krum stayed with her). So, I was thinking - will she fade to the background or find other connection to the main character?

 

Grammar corrections and observations for ff.net chapters 1, 7 to 10, and the Interlude.

Chapters 2 to 6 were done yesterday.

I hope these notes don't slow you down even one minute, Santi. Just hand them off to your slaves betas to do the more obvious corrections.

Chapter 1: An Alternate Beginning

a one in a billion chance piece of magic.

disappointed look/smile/face?

I think you meant O.W.L.s, but I'm not sure.

your

lift

The spell shot out of his wand

wand. "Turn

History, and


Chapter 7: Summer At The Hollow

No one spoke before Harry did. Who is Harry replying to?

Maybe he would just not mention it to his brother

it's very hard to make sure everything works.

Is "semi-permanent enchantment receptacle" supposed to be capitalised like a proper noun, or not?

ctrl-f for other occurrences.

"A lot of practice."

to

too

friends

look

Is Dumbledore talking nonsense here, or am I just not understanding him? It sounds profound, but when I look at it a little closer it's just stating the obvious. "It is often harder to do what one considers right than to do what is easy." No shit. Do you know what else is harder to do than things that are easy? Everything. Almost any task you care to think of is harder than doing what is easy.

"It is often harder to do what one considers evil than to do what is easy."
"It is often harder to do what one considers smart than to do what is easy."
"It is often harder to rule the galaxy in an iron fist, as father and son, than to do what is easy."
"It is often harder to walk to the shops and get some milk than to do what is easy."

Just because it's hard doesn't mean it isn't stupid.

Bloody Dumbledore. No wonder he's an international politician. He can spin words like strands of candy floss without actually saying anything.

I have been utterly fooled in my life, Nathan,

I'm quite sure that Dumbledore does know Nathan. We can fix that ambiguity with a comma or two.

"We don't know, Nathan," Dumbledore said

Dumbledore vs. Wikileaks. Round 1. FIGHT!

The whole conversation between Dumbledore and Nathan about keeping Voldemort's possession of Quirrell a secret from Harry doesn't sound like Dumbledore's trying to protect Harry at all; even Nathan's not convinced. It sounds more like Dumbledore taking a defensive first move against Harry. He's keeping information from him on the chance that Harry is compromised, will be compromised, or simply turns away from "the light" in the future.

My opinion about that situation was weakened when we later saw Dumbledore allow Harry to view Voldemort's return in Nathan's memory of the Chamber of Secrets. I guess Dumbledore really was trying to protect Harry. The road to hell, and all that.

Beauxbatons

Express

It occurs a few times this chapter, so ctrl-f for express.

I want to see you push beyond the boundaries

He must have a very ruddy complexion. Or, perhaps you meant rogue.

Fidelius

by the Fidelius," Dumbledore said

Is it house elf, or house-elf? You're using both in this chapter.

since they were taught


Chapter 8: Rising Expectations and Raising Questions

said, gesturing

apoplectic

stunned

The phrasing in the centre of the sentence doesn't really work. Try this:

"It makes the victim suffer the immediate psychological effects of a traumatic experience including feelings of intense fear and helplessness. The duration and intensity of the feelings are proportional to the power behind the curse," Calypso recited perfectly.

I might have overlooked the problem if it was ordinary dialogue, but this is something that Calypso is quoting perfectly from a definitive source.

admitted

intent is

gestured to a tall brown haired boy
gestured to the tall brown haired boy

dodged

strings cut.

The saying is written, "like a puppet with its strings cut". There is no "off" at the end, unless you intended for Kira to get the saying wrong.

renowned

growing look of horror


Chapter 9: Pushing Boundaries

9

he had copied

annoyance, however,

class early

his

an

I expect better, daughter.

"Yes, father," Calypso said, an unreadable

it

Harry opened the door to his room


Chapter 10: Summer of the Mind

trill

Don't you,

Harry was saved from answering immediately when an imperial great horned owl swooped into the room and landed in front of him.

Occlumency is so important to you?

I'll

Potions master was standing

than

Grindelwald's academic record for the most first place rankings

shelve

The expressions are, "for many more years," and "for many years to come." You've mixed them together when you should be using one or the other.

LOL. You've used ellipses three times in three lines, and written each one differently.

Hollow

Legilimens


Chapter X: Interlude: Responses

Just checking, but did you mean to write "wars" (plural)?

If it's a small envelope, then how is it fitting a published journal inside? Magic could obviously shrink/enlarge it as required, but there's no mention of it. Minerva starts flipping to the page she wants straight away.

draught

"Don't say it, Minerva,"

The students aren't looking after Filius; Filius is looking after them. This misunderstanding can be corrected with a comma.

"You have over seventy students to look after, Filius,

Harry is doing Severus!? Flitwick is curious about their sexual positions!

I think you need a judiciously placed comma in that sentence fragment.

doing, Severus

Flitwick's

I'm pretty sure that you meant to say: alive and out of prison. It makes sense logically.

Romulus' eyes grew cold.

 

Lolno.

It will obviously be Charizard.

 

After reading all of this loathing from Rosemburg, I'm pretty sure that The Santi is setting him up to have to give Krum a Mastery in Transfiguration this year.

Calypso mentioned in an earlier chapter that becoming an Animagus was pretty much a guaranteed Master rank in Transfiguration for any year. We also know that the teaching staff have sworn an Unbreakable Vow to grade every student's end of year projects fairly no matter their personal feelings. Krum has become an animagus and no one else in his class has, yet. Automatic ‘M’.

Krum and Harry are in the same Transfiguration class, so they're in direct competition. If The Santi is trying to tweak Rosemburg's nose, and it looks like he is, then Harry either won't become an animagus this year, or else will experience setbacks that make Krum's animagus skill more highly regarded that Harry's. It's also possible that The Santi is going to use this as motivation to drive Harry to new heights in his end of year Transfiguration project, but I don't think so. Every dog has its day, and this time it's Krum's.

Calypso is a year below Harry in Transfiguration, so when she sorts her transformation out she's going to get the Mastery in her year. Kira's inner animal hasn't so much as twitched, if she even has one, and I'm not sure what Transfiguration class she's in anyway. We know she's a fifth year student, but if she was in fifth year Transfiguration class alongside Krum and Harry then we'd have heard about it before now. I'm guessing that she's in sixth year Transfiguration.

Another reason that Harry might not be an animagus is that The Santi has been drawing parallels between Harry and Grindelwald throughout the fic. (I wonder if he's going to go as far as having Harry eventually kicked out of Durmstrang). In the recent Interlude, The Santi made sure to tell us that Grindelwald is not an animagus. Therefore, I don't think that Harry will be able to become one either.

edit: Oh, snap. There goes my 1000th post.

 

I'd agree if not for the fact that right now for Krum every day is his day with amazing Quidditch career he has right now. I think there is bigger chance that Santi will use it as motivation for Harry and I'm curious what kind of project can top Animagus transformation in Rosemburg's eyes. That said, I'm not sure if Harry will success with it, only that he will attempt to do it.

 

I think it would be odd if Calypso became an Animagus and Harry didn't. I can understand Harry taking more time if he has yet to fully understand himself or whatever it is he needs to do, but I would be surprised if he didn't become an Animagus at all after all of this buildup (plus he's succeeding partial human transfiguration, which is part of the prep for a transformation).

Regarding Krum's single-minded drive and focus, though, doesn't Harry have that kind of drive as well? What issues do you guys think are preventing Harry from transforming?

 

Inner conflict and general whimpery. He's confused about what his desires are and what he truly believes. For one, he's on the outs with his brother because of his own views on magic, which leads to self-doubt. It had been even more damaged before when Quirrel almost killed Nathan. What with the marriage proposal of Calypso and his new found feelings for her, you get one really confused kid.

If the animagus transformation requires a person to know one's self intimately, then Harry's needs a lot of self reflection. However, I don't like the idea of him not being unable to complete the animagus transformation. Regardless of the transformation being based on genetics, I still think it'd be a huge blow to the overall image of his badassery if he failed. Unless of course, he provided an alternative, some such really kick ass transfiguration project.