Well...he's still the youngest seeker of the century. :awesome

 

Heartless » by FranceyPants reviews
An angry deth metal was kidnapped at burth by dumbledor and frced to becum a wizrd. but then he is myteriusly transportd into the world of the lord of tha rings and him and harrold potter and ron and hermon must find a way out!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,243 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 12-22-10 - Published: 12-15-10

 

And Fleur has agreed to marry him at the same age. Wait, if he's 5, then she must be ... 8. FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

 

Oh, really? I must confess I stopped reading in the middle of Harry's contract negotiations with that American Quidditch Team Manager. Lulz or not, this was getting hard for my eyes.

And this is just... wow. Please tell me those 8 reviews are all flames.

 

I died at least once as I read this... Seriously how do they manage to write this kind of crap? I'm tempted to say NI.:facepalm

 

It gets even better on his personal page.

Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings.
Hi I m cool and punk and metal and i luv deth metil!!!!!!!!!! and hav 1 eybrow pircing and lether coat and i love hard-cor deth metl stuff and gunz an hairold potter and snape cuz hes da man and also legind of tha seekr and lord of tha rings. I M rely hard cor and get in figts al that tim and bet up people and i no 4 martal arts and like karate and judo and fancin and boxin. my fav bandz r distrbd and slipnot and paramor(cuz tha gurlz singr iz hot) and riz agenst and slayr. if u are not metal than ur just a posr so fuk u.

 

Wow. That needs to be preserved, for the lulz. It's like the male middleschooler version of My Immortal.


Edit: I'm afraid it's a troll. He's only got one favorite: his own story. It's still very funny, but obviously meant to be the companion piece to My Immortal and Thirty H.

 

I wanted to write something in response to samkar's quote of that author's profile. Then I realized that ASmallBundleOfToothpicks already said what I wanted to.

EDIT: He's a troll? What a shame.

 

Somebody should do a proper wiki site for them... Imagine all the fics that make you vomit listed, it would be awesome

 

Grinning Lizard actually reviewed this story two days ago... and you managed to stay calm and polite. I'm applauding you, I couldn't have done that... the calm and polite part I mean.

EDIT: Under the influence of this video, I went into the fanfic archive and found this:

 

I agree with Ichor.


Breeding ban indeed.

 

Getting back to that HP/Twilight crossover for a sec:

:facepalm

Truer words were never spoken

 

Excellent, excellent, I'm finally gathering minio-...uh, 'allies'.

Seriously though...

Regardless of the language, those words highlighted in bold are all that I need to understand.

Ugh.

 

Simply a bad summary. Not anything worldshatteringly awful, but it struck me as an utter waste of binary.

​

I've now learned my lesson: Never ever trust FFN.

Urg.
​

 

The Adventures of the Sex God Savior » by Zeledus reviews

The Adventures of the Sex-God Savior and the Drool-Worthy Death Eater. Harry comes to a disturbing revelation about a man he had always thought he hated. He simply couldn't help it, Lucius Malfoy was absolutely delicious.

Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 15,019 - Reviews: 31 - Updated: 12-23-10 - Published: 12-8-10 - Harry P. & Lucius M.

- - - Another One - - -

Beneath the Surface » by My Silver Guardian reviews

When a muggle girl accidentally flushes herself into the Ministry, she sees Dumbledore fighting Voldemort and gets hit by a killing curse, but she survives. Dealing with her own personal demons and trying to help her new found friends, can she save Harry?

Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,314 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-23-10 - Published: 12-21-10 - Harry P. & Albus D.

- - - And Another - - -

Raven Potter and the Plot for World Domination » by Hane no Zaia reviews

HEAVILY EDITED. Raven Potter, the Girl Who Lived, is a pyromania of questionable sanity who has no plans whatsoever to play the heroine in this story... and just got thrown into another dimension...

Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 46,512 - Reviews: 63 - Updated: 12-23-10 - Published: 8-3-09 - OC & Harry P.

- - - Another Spacer - - -

The Untold Story » by Alley Sajrob reviews

This is the Untold Story of Harry and Ginny. You may think that everything is perfect since the end of Voldemort, but it's not. Harry realizes that Ginny and him are growing farther apart, and does everything he can to pull them back together.

Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 27 - Words: 47,112 - Reviews: 53 - Updated: 12-23-10 - Published: 7-27-09 - Harry P. & Ginny W.

- - -

It was never told because it was crap...I'll stop now and leave some for the rest of you.

 

Don't you get cocky on us, dear sir.

Am I the only one who's getting a bad flashback to My Immortal when reading this name?

 

Wouldn't dream of it, minio-..eh, friend.

Oh, God...why do I get the feeling that Xmas is going to be the time for badly written Drarry slash to dominate the update list?

 

You know, I never thought of it like that, but browsing FFnet has become like classic slash-n-hack or adventure games that you have to go through thousand of faceless enemies to get to your objective.

/trying to think of a somewhat light side out of all this nonsense

 

Indeed it is.

 

Why do I simply get the vibe that someone is being a little... sarcastic here?

Well, we get a lot of lulz. That is a good side.