This is still a library-worthy fic, but just barely. If it doesn't start to pick up soon, it'll end up going to suckland really fast..

 

There's far worse shit in the library.

 

updated to 14 (edit: 13 by the authors count, 14 by the ffn counter)

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5511855/14/Delenda_Est

This chapter was pretty basic plot progression, but the next chapter is shaping up to be very interesting.

 

Several important set-ups happened this chapter, even if it was kinda short.

 

Meh. I'm not entirely convinced the author knows where he wants to go with this story. He's spent a huge amount of time in this holding pattern, ostensibly setting up future action while not really getting anywhere. This chapter once again suggested movement in the near future, but was still nothing but unnecessarily drawn out set up. It's reached the point where I just skim the chapters to see if anything has happened.

 

Oh, please. It's fairly obvious that it's all coming to a head now.

 

So it appears but I thought that last chapter as well. The one before that also suggested it was coming to a head. Don't get me wrong I like the story. It's still reasonably entertaining, it's continuing, and the writing's not bad. I maintain though that Lord Silvere has absolutely no sense of pacing whatsoever. Its preposterous that it's taken 14 chapters to get to this point.

 

However long its taken up until now, if there is no action in the next chapter, this story is going to have to be taken out of the library. The set up is pretty good for two cool fight scenes, and if its not taken, the missed opportunity will just be too much.

But if Silvere makes it ridiculously awesome and just blows that shit up to eleven, goes on a rampage of violence and kills characters, then it will actually go up to a 4 or more ranking (for me).

Guess we'll just have to wait and see.

 

This. So Much.

Story is definitely still good enough for the Library. Period.

 

Story is good and next chapter is looking to be very interesting. The scene with Crabbe and Goyle interrogation is awesome. I hope we see more interaction with Lily and jealousy of both James and Bella because of it.

 

At times the writing is supremely intelligent and engaging and at other times I want to slap the stupid out of it. This is how this whole fic has been; I'm beginning to forget, but isn't this written by two authors?

Anyway the last two chapters have finally pulled the plot forward to a necessary junction. I am curious to see how it goes further. Bellatrix was actually pretty tolerable in these two chapters and Harry more consistent as well.

Really looking forward to the next chapter, now that there is a piece of plot development just hanging there.

 

I'd forgotten that until you mentioned it. I checked, and yeah the fic is being written by two authors. Lord Silvere is co-authoring it with the dude who finished Earl of the North after he abandoned it. Claihm Solais or something like that.

It's very possible explanation for the disjointedness. I'm not sure how exactly they're handling the co-writing, but it's difficult to mesh two voices and styles in the same story.

 

This is pretty much exactly how I feel about it. Some of the Harry/Bellatrix interaction in the last chapter made me cringe so much. Whereas, it can be incredibly good in other respects.

ANyone know which is the good author? I want to leave a review telling him to just write the story himself. :/

 

Not sure which is which. An easy way to tell might be to read a chapter from each of their respective sections of Earl of the North. With any luck you could determine which was the better writer from that.

 

That's retarded: Voldemort might think that he could just use the Imperius to force him to give up his secret and then kill him at his leisure.

 

Was not impressed with the latest update. Harry is an absolute moron who is apparently, in fact stupider than he was in canon. Bellatrix was more believable until she decided to take the Veritaserum. I suppose you can ascribe her doing so to panic. But I mean come on. Harry was criminally stupid and Bellatrix wasn't acting all that bright either.

But at least the plot advanced.

 

Finally got around to reading this.

First off, I'm a huge fan of time travel/AU fics like this, and it handles some of the aspects of the genre better than almost any other similar fics. The writing is usually solid, and the characters are interesting.

But there are some really huge, huge dumb out of character moments for almost everyone in the fic.

Monumentally dumb, especially in the latest chapter. Characters acting in ways they most definitely should not. For example, I like the elder Malfoy and Black's manipulations, but the trust they place in Harry is incredibly odd and blind for two supposedly intelligent and competent manipulators. Harry walks up to Voldemort TWICE. Bellatrix acts nothing like she does in canon at the start, but given that it's a fic about Harry and "Bella" that's to be expected.

I'm totally fine with changing a characters personality to make the story work; but that's not what is going on. Even if they were entirely OCs I'd be complaining, because the characters don't fit with their own personalities in the story.

Whats retarded is how Harry goes from being incredibly stupid in hanging out with her to trying to murder her in a blind rage AND THEN RIGHT BACK INTO FRIENDSHIP.

Its like reading a pretty good fic where the author has ideas for scenes he wants to write, but is trying to tack them into a story where they don't actually fit with the characters he's created.

But still as I said I have a big soft spot for time travel fics like this, so 4/5. But god damn the inconsistent characterization is annoying me to no end.

And the awful "banter" made me close this fic the first time I tried to read it, I just forced myself to get through the first two chapters this time.

 

Ok chapter. The plot is finally advanced, but Harry picking up the idiot ball was incredibly annoying. You'd think that the only person who really understood how dangerous Voldemort really is would be less eager to be killed by him.

Also, has anyone else noticed the disparity between Harry's actual skill level and his perceived skill level? Hes supposed to have been able to fight original Bella to a draw multiple times, survived Voldemort, and is regarded in the new world by Black etc at very competent. And yet, he has been almost beaten by a 17 year old girl, manhandled by an old man and the only real achievement he has is taking out a group of idiots from behind. Why does he (and everyone else) think he is a badass?

Aside from that, this story has just taken far too long. I made some comments about a possible 'rampage of violence'. Yeah, Sesc, you're right. That was a little stupid. But I stand by that this story needs a little action. I heard a saying that every story is about conflict in some form. So where is the conflict? This fic is supposed to be about an adult Harry taking the past by surprise with the help of a cool Bellatrix. What is being written is half school drama, half amateur politics.

For the past 3 chapter, some kind of action would have been totally appropriate. Instead, we got more stalling. I get the feeling that Silvere/Solais doesn't like writing action scenes, but has to because of story and ends up wasting space instead.

Don't get me wrong, I do like the fic a lot, and it has a ton of potential. I just wish it would actually resolve something instead of filling chapter after chapter.