"We have come to remove Lord Harry James Merlin Gryffindor Hufflepuff Potter from this hovel; might we enter?"


That was all I needed to see.

 

What, no "Lord Harry James Merlin-Gryffindor-Hufflepuff-Potter-Black?" :awesome

Because I'd rather have burnt out eyes than a leaking-from-my-ears brain/mush.

 

That's in chapter 2 I think.

 

Worst fic ever, eh? Some time back I decided to find a Snape/Lily fic for some reason, and came upon this one. Don't click on it - I don't hate you, so I have no reason to cause you permanent psychological damage. I read it to see how long the author could sustain the horror; as it turns out, the answer was that she probably could've sustained it forever.

Snape's Worst Memory » reviews Completed. The Marauders have more enemies than just Severus Snape, who's rotten luck is about to change. His friendship with Lily will continue past fifth year. AU, Marauder Era, SS/LE. M for Foul language/sexual contentHarry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Size: 58/526,306 - Reviews: 349 - Updated: Complete - Published: 3-27-2009 - Severus S. & Lily Evans P.


I can't really think of any interesting quotes in this 526,000 word pile of fanfiction landfill - the sort that show you how bad the fic can get, while still offering lulz out of context. It's not that kind of fic. Let me just explain it to you instead:

It's a sort of AU, diverging during the Snape's Worst Memory incident. For some reason (I think - it's been a while), Snape doesn't drop the Mudblood bomb on Lily, and their friendship doesn't get broken. Eventually they move on to some horrific version of intimacy.

The author is a rabid Snape fan, and elevates his character over all others in the following ways:

*The Marauders are not only malicious, but incredibly stupid as well. Except for Remus, who is just stupid.

*Slughorn? Malicious, stupid, loathes Snape

*Dumbledore? Not quite malicious, but just as stupid as Slughorn

*Madam Pomfrey? Refuses to treat the horrific injuries Snape has received from the Marauders, believing him to be a faker. Yep, stupid and malicious

*Lily herself gets turned into the most vapid airhead imaginable - and to top it all off, the author eventually makes her fat. Petunia and Vernon are more realistic and sympathetic characters in this author's fic.

And yet, Snape still loves her as in canon, even though he eventually sees how incredibly awful Lily is. The goal, I think, was to make every character not named Snape hateful, but the author failed. Snape is an awful character too, with his ridiculous mix of stubbornness and interpersonal stupidity.

Not even this is an adequate explanation of this story's Fail. There's also the fact that the writer is incapable of truly funny humor. Or drama. Or angst/empathetic writing. In fact, every attempt at a mood other than rambling weak humor fails completely.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2V4VxlsMuQ4
www.fanfiction.net/s/2554200/1/HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I reccomend the dramatic reading on youtube it's :awesome.

 

Regarding the OP, this little beauty of a review was left

I think its from the same guy who is mentioned in the worst reviews thread so we all know what he's about...but Christ, ♥ enriching♥!!!

 

I remember there was a whole thread dedicated to this one a while back.

 

Thirty H thread

Also, it's not the "Worst Story Ever," unless you mean that it's so awful that it suffered a negative overflow, ending up solidly on the side of Win. :awesome

 

I give you; TVTropes

 

My god. Such creativity. I suspect a bad batch of hallucinogens and/or a contest on irc.

 

Must not click, must not click, must not click, must not click, must not-

NOOOOOOOO!

There goes my bandwidth.