Yeah, that one's an old classic story. Probably one of the very first "betrayed!Harry" stories out there.

Here's a link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1291535/1/

 

Whoops. Missed the second page where I was ninja'ed

I'll second the rec on Betrayed. It's not fantastic but it's definitely worth a read.

 

I didn't really like it, to be honest; the first chapter felt disconnected compared to the other chapters, like the author had decided to continue a one-shot, or rapidly change the plan of the story before it had even begun.

The character interactions were quite good, but even so, it still felt a tad unfocused compared to what felt like the original goals of the story.

 

Here's a really, really long one-shot (80,000 words) with an HP/OC pairing. It's been a while since I read it, but I remember it being pretty good. Not sure if I'd say the same now, but I'd have to read it again to make that decision.

Harry Potter and the Transfer Student.

It's not as bad as it sounds.

 

I tried reading that and quit like 10k words in. I don't remember much except that it rubbed me the wrong way. I remember thinking something along the lines of, well, that's a retarded way of looking at things. The main character seemed to have a very bizarre perspective on things, one that wasn't at all logical.

 

Yep, it's a weird one.

But I found it to be likeable enough.

 

One of my favorite stories. I put it up for library review, but it got rejected pretty fast. It's a 5/5 in my opinion.

 

I read it, thought it was a pretty good fic at the time. It's been a while, but IIRC I'd give it around a 4/5.

You sure you put it up for review Lord Anarchy? I checked for it and I didn't see it anywhere.

 

Yeah, it's the only story I ever put up for in review I think, but it was sometime last year.

 

Sooo, I took chance 'cause Warlocke doesn't often recc total shit.

I fuckin' LOVED this fic. At first I wanted to kill Adele, the little shit. But I had realized immediately that she's about as close to a real kid as I've ever seen written in an HP story, and that hooked me right there.

I read the whole thing and was phenomenally surprised that

Spoiler

Adele does NOT turn out to have magic. She's a Muggle all the way! Wonders never cease, apparently.

Yes, the other OC, Lysander, was a bit of a stretch, but his use throughout the story was done fairly well overall.

The only thing detracting from this story was the One Shot at the end, but it's a huge detraction, if I'm honest. It's so retardedly awful that I would highly and forcefully suggest you skip it altogether. I'm not even joking, it nearly killed my love for the author; that's how horrifically stupid it is.

Avoid that last One Shot like the plague and enjoy the rest of the story, 'cause it's pure gold. The One Shot isn't integral, isn't necessary, and is nails-on-chalkboard infuriating. Is it clear that I disliked it?

 

So after Portus gave it the thumbs up, I read it. Definitely a gem, one-of-a-kind. The oneshot was stupid but didn't really ruin anything, IMO - it's easy to pretend it didn't happen, and it's sorta irrelevant anyways.

 

It is a damn good fic. I remember reading it a while ago. And I also remember disliking that one-shot as well.

 

the OC is just a huge cunt.

 

It's in DLP's deepest darkest hell, the Trash Bin: thread link

Currently 1/5th of the way through it, and I'm desperately hoping that Harry is pretending to be a culturally sensitive weenie in order to get in her pants robes. But I'm bored enough to keep reading, so whatever.

 

Wow. That was great.

Then again, I might just be desperate at this stage.

 

Ah yes, The Transfer Student, I remember that one. The kindest description I can give it is that it's Renegade Cause before Renegade Cause. The characters act in a somewhat understandable manner, but you hate them so much it doesn't even matter, their douchiness overshadows all else.

The OC is such a cunt that I can't empathise with her at all. I know she comes from a different culture (that encourages extreme douchebag behavior) and is completely out of her element, and that her inability to give an inch or at least accept different cultures is quite normal in the world. Regardless, her douchiness seems to turn other people into pussies. Harry's inexplicable conversion to Decorum is a prime example. Dumbledore's response to being blackmailed because he called the bitch!OC by her first name is another. Granted the author was clever enough to make the OC be on a diplomatic mission (why the mission existed in the first place is beyond me) between the two peoples which gives her a lot of leeway but come on.

This made me lol though:

Someone should tell that to Voldemort.She's partly right, which makes it even funnier.

Yeah by throwing out their old own beliefs/traditions/rules to adhere to a series of beliefs/traditions/rules they never practiced in the first place. Hmm...I call bullshit, and even the author stunted and ever-wincing Dumbledore agrees:

CMOA, that is all.

And that's what pisses me off about this story. It had so much potential, the author did not seem to be out to bash the Wizarding World we came to know and love he just create a character from a society that would do so. And no matter how realistic a character is, if they are complete and utter arseholes they are still hated and a burden to the reader.

I don't hate bad stories or bad authors. What I do hate is good authors fucking up. Granted it shows the amount of selfcentredness I possess, wanting authors to write tales to my liking or be considered failures, but still. Which is why people like this guy, Darth Marrs, or a RL example Peter Brett make me angry, if they could just reign in the wank or the Suey-ness they would fucking rock.

/opportunist rant on a story I've been hating for a while.

 

It would have been much easier to say that she engages in circular reasoning:

Because "Decorum" is apparently something she learned in her society, she expects people in other societies to follow it? That's just retarded.

Any argument she makes relies on her being correct in the first place..

 

Hmm...is Water Mage's crossover (the one where Harry's unwillingly married to a bunnyboiler!Aurora) abandoned? There hasn't been any activity from the author in general for about a year+, as well...

 

Well.. Water mage himself(herself?) isn't dead, since he joined the 500 club (and posted like twice). So it's likely that he's still writing, though irregularly.

 

Soooo, I was bored, and procrastinating, and I decided to give it a shot.

...

Fuuuuu.... what the fuck have I just read?

The story is just horribly horribly terrible. It's so bad that I don't even know where to start, and what makes it worse is that the author is actually able to write in a very coherent manner. If he/she weren't, it would have been easy to either click the 'X', or just have lulz.

Characters:

The OC: What a motherfucking Mary-Sue. So she's eighteen, and is the Premier Student of the Kirian Academy, and President of the Student Council, and actually totally nice to boot. However, of course she needs to have a flaw, so she got raped when she was eight, and her magical core split itself in 64 pieces! But oh, I forgot, she has to be the Premier Student of the Kirian Academy, so her damaged core doesn't hinder her magic, it actually allows her to use all the different elemental magics! Of course, that ability came for a price, and that price was that she had to learn how to read magic. What a handicap. And don't forget, she can outmaneuver Albus Dumbledore in a play of words, since she is oh-so-versed in Decorum. I never wished for a character to die that much in any fictional work.

The other OC: A total non-entity. She has no personality, no background, no purpose. First, we get hints that she might harbor feelings that go deeper than friendship or that stupid master-asisstant-bond crap, then all of a sudden she is infatuated with Harry, then she is totally fine that the person she's infatuated with asks out her master.... what the fuck?

Harry: A total pussy. God, how I hate pussy!Harry. So he, as the only person in Hogwarts, decides to be polite towards the newcomers and learn a little of their manners (or Decorum), and that gives OC the right to embarrass in front of the whole fucking school? Oh yea, Decorum states that it must be that way. And of course, the whole embarrassment is nothing but a veiled turn-on for Harry, as he falls totally and deeply in love with OC.

Ron and Hermione: Again, fucking non-entities. Of course, Ron is way too fucking dumb to grasp the concept of "Decorum", and of course Hermione is way too fucking arrogant to learn them. Yadda yadda, etc etc, something new?

Dumbledore: I'm no Dumbledore-lover, but you have to respect him. He's Albus fucking I-got-way-too-many-names-and titles Dumbledore. He bested Grindelwald at the height of his power, and Grindelwald was in possession of the Elder Wand. He bested Voldemort when he was at the height of his power, all while shielding Harry from harm. And he is Headmaster, Chief Warlock and Surpreme Mugwump. But of course, how can he hold up in a play of words against somebody a fraction of his age, who is trained in Decorum?

The plot:

Non-existent. The OC doesn't want to be in Hogwarts, her Academy doesn't want her to be in Hogwarts, Hogwarts doesn't want her to be in Hogwarts. So why the fuck is she there?

The romance:

Here's the good thing about the story. It's no instant love. The author tries, and succeeds, in building up some kind of friendship between the two. Now here's the bad side. He succeeds so much that there's no fucking transition between 'friends' and 'lovers'. We get like 75k+ words on friendship between Harry and OC (if you can call it such), some little oh-so-subtle hints that Harry finds OC attractive, and all of a sudden, Harry asks her out. OC of course, never harbored any feelings for him, but all of a sudden she feels some 'warmth', and a little 'fuzzy', and she is oh-so-happy that somebody values her as a woman. How heartbreaking.

tl;dr: Fucking shit. -infinity/5