1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

WIP The Star Empire by RahXephon - M/NC-17

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Pasta Sentient, Apr 6, 2011.

  1. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2006
    Messages:
    2,819
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    High Score:
    13,152
    I had a good laugh at "Heck, the way she snuggly hugged her figure in her stolen uniform".

    Until I realised the author was a sexist pig. Lol. I can't possibly see how a society in which physical strength means almost nothing could have such significant gender bias. And then we have:

    ...really? Let's take a look at a transformation of that sentence:

    Huh. Imagine that.
     
  2. Portus

    Portus Heir

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2008
    Messages:
    2,553
    Location:
    Music City
    Oh Taure, you simply cannot be serious. What in the world makes you think this is anything to be taken seriously? At all?

    It's an absurd sort-of plot with a decently developed world/universe*, and in point of fact, this fic - supposedly dark!Harry and rapist!Harry - has pretty much failed to deliver on the latter premise and only really succeeded in the former by recounting hellish behavior in a tell-don't-show backstory.

    *I say this from a position of not having read much space-opera beyond The Red Planet...
     
  3. Styx0444

    Styx0444 Minister of Magic

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2010
    Messages:
    1,217
    Location:
    Between here and there.
    It's interesting and amusing enough for what it is, and if you can ignore the language fuck-ups then it's actually pretty good.

    That said, I can't like a rapist main character. 3/5 from me.
     
  4. Juggler

    Juggler Death Eater DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2008
    Messages:
    993
    Location:
    Nova Scotia, Canada
    A 4/5 from me. It has good concepts, and while a few points are distasteful, the rapist aspect was definitely overplayed here. I wouldn't call it one of my favourites, but I'm going to be following this as long as it updates semi-regularly (or every two days...).
     
  5. Trig

    Trig Unspeakable

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2010
    Messages:
    708
    Location:
    Germany
    I think it's very hard to rate this story.

    On one hand I can understand why Harry went dark considering his backstory, but in this story he's hurting innocents just for the sake of it which is simply too out of character for my tastes.

    On the other hand I have to applaud the author for writing an interesting and completely original world, and while it certainly isn't that good the fact still stands.

    A tentative 3/5 from me, just because I still want to see where this story is going.
     
  6. samkar

    samkar Temporarily Banhammered

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2010
    Messages:
    820
    When I read about space raping pedophile arse bandits the story went to the trashcan. Was this some reverse psychological meta attack on slash fics? Another problem is that I have no problem with dark Harry interpretations, nor with *tasteful* meaningful horror/evil spins but I really can't see a point in evil!becauseIlikethelifestyle stories. They feel more like a young male power wank job.

    ---------- Post automerged at 08:32 ---------- Previous post was at 08:16 ----------

    SF stories for the DLP's taste would be

    Reynold's Revelation Space Universe, *The* dark dystopic space opera of the last 10 years imho.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revelation_Space

    and Morgan's Takeshi Kovacs triology, though this is more some dark hardboiled detective and later perhaps military story but really thought provoking in a hard core way. When other writers stop when it hurts, this goes 2 steps further.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Morgan_(author)


    P.S. I really hope the film project will ever be realized for Altered Carbon.
     
  7. Giovanni

    Giovanni God of Scotch

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2005
    Messages:
    8,903
    Location:
    Gilligan's Island
    Rape in this fanfic?
    Only moral-fags object.
    Remember The Office?

    * * *

    That said, at least The
    Office was parody. Author
    Should an hero today.
     
  8. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2010
    Messages:
    493
    Location:
    Germany occupied Greece
    High Score:
    4495+2362
    Hey, DLP is guest starring on the latest chapter's Author's Note. Boy, is he mad.

    I'd rate the story about 3.5/5, for having me interested and creating a universe that is not crap (no easy feat), if the execution wasn't the best. Actually, I'm not sure what exactly makes me like this fic, but something does, and it's not just the premise of rapist!Harry. A premise which apparently he isn't demonstrating in fear of FFN's no sex stuff rule.
     
  9. Portus

    Portus Heir

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2008
    Messages:
    2,553
    Location:
    Music City
    Gio-

    isn't being able to count an important skill for people involved in politics and polling? Or is your poetry within the accepted margin of error for haiku? After all, 6 *is* still 5 +/- 20%.
     
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2011
  10. Giovanni

    Giovanni God of Scotch

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2005
    Messages:
    8,903
    Location:
    Gilligan's Island
    Late night haiku is
    Not my strong point. I studied
    Not the gentle verse.

    * * *

    The poem was true.
    Author should an hero now.
    Refrigerator.
     
  11. Rhys

    Rhys High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2009
    Messages:
    598
    In case anybody still cares, this is updating again (after a revision storm, apparently).

    For all its flaws I still find it pretty engaging, and it was fun to get back into this original universe. I'd been on a SG1/SGA kick lately looking for space battles and this fit the bill.
     
  12. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2010
    Messages:
    493
    Location:
    Germany occupied Greece
    High Score:
    4495+2362
    I‘ve enjoyed reading this, and was glad to see it got updated.

    It‘s not even a guilty pleasure, I seriously think this is good work.
     
  13. Fatality

    Fatality Order Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2011
    Messages:
    865
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Australia
    I don't see a lot of the complaints people raised about this. It's not a master piece of writing, but for fan fiction I think this is a pretty good read.

    The world building is well done and interesting, it doesn't fall into most of the tiresome cliches of other fics, and it's Harry Potter in space which is a big plus for me. Of course, on a lot of levels it doesn't resemble Harry Potter but hopefully that will change once he returns to Earth and gets his magic straight, etc.

    Plus, I still want to see Harry fuck Claris, and the author previously had an insane update rate before the long break of them.
     
  14. Azotez

    Azotez Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2010
    Messages:
    291
    Location:
    Spain
    Looks like the author is back and updating regularly again.

    I quite like this fic. It is very entertaining and as Fatality stated - Harry in space is always awesome sauce. Every once in a while I search the net for these kind of fics by they are rare and far between. Most of them is in the SG universe which is also cool, but these tend to be a bit generic, which is why I like this particular piece so much. Very original imo and most of his characters actually have some depth.

    I gave it 5/5 and definitely think it should be moved out of the recycling bin.
     
  15. KillerEggLord

    KillerEggLord Third Year

    Joined:
    May 12, 2008
    Messages:
    108
    Location:
    Denver, Colorado
    Its been updated again,

    Perhaps its been revised since this thread first started but I don't see a lot of the flaws from this thread in the present version of the story. Its enjoyable and interesting (especially if you like Sci-Fi) and while it isn't a master-piece of fanfiction its one of the better Harry Potter in SPACE! fics I can recall.

    I also think this should probably be moved out of the recycling bin, its a bit unique. If he would only get his powers back already though.
     
  16. silverlasso

    silverlasso Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2007
    Messages:
    1,302
    Location:
    San Francisco
    This shit hooked me such that I couldn't finish reading until I got to the end. As far as Harry in space goes, this isn't bad at all, and the OCs are surprisingly well-developed.

    4/5 would read again.
     
  17. Xantam

    Xantam Denarii Host

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2006
    Messages:
    1,347
    Location:
    Denver
    The one thing that this fic has going for it is the universe. Harry is a pretty despicable character, and seemingly bipolar. It's kind of annoying how the author keeps purposefully holding Harry back, but for balance sake, I get it. Despite all the rape and other distasteful things, the universe keeps me engaged. Probably a 3.5/5 for me.
     
  18. Lamora

    Lamora Definitely Not Batman ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2009
    Messages:
    116
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    High Score:
    1072
    4/5. I like that the author is able to make Harry really, truly unrepentantly evil without pussying out with a redemption trope anywhere (so far). The creation of Harry's spell-gun was also one of the better artificing/magical artifact creations that I've read, which usually just go like 'oh, here's an artifact we made off screen', or devolve into flow-breaking scenes full of magical theory porn. The author in this case combined the gun's enchantment with an action scene in a way I might dare to call masterful.

    Additionally, I'd like to praise the author's ability to keep power levels scaled despite Harry having such a huge trump card as magic. The world-building as well is above-average.

    I can see this easily in the library. Once again, 4/5.
     
  19. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2006
    Messages:
    2,819
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    High Score:
    13,152
    Having seen these good reviews, I took another look at the fic.

    Honestly? Still can't get into it at all. I just can't get behind Harry's evilness. It makes no sense to me. I think I may just be past my evil Harry stage. Competent Harry is always fun to read... but with none of the other HP characters I love to interact with him, it just seemed a bit pointless.

    I also don't find the setting particularly interesting. Perhaps it would have been, had it not been crossed with Harry Potter. But I just can't enjoy space + magic.
     
  20. TripticWriter

    TripticWriter Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2006
    Messages:
    326
    Location:
    France
    Just woke up after reading this all night long.

    I am really perturbed by the story. I just had to keep reading, even if it's full of uninteresting SF technobabbles, pointless violence, inconsistent characters, a very particular and unflattering view of women, and one of the most despicable depiction of Harry I have ever seen (or really close).

    Frankly, Harry being an evil bastard who gets his jollies from raping, plunder and causing genocides (twice) isn't even the worst thing in this story.

    But we we are reading the journey of the most unlikeable, pathetic sort of teenager ruled by hormones. He is so uninteresting in this story, having absolutely no depth and being manipulated all the time. Without his magic, he has absolutely no skill in battle, social interaction and leadership. He is really the perfect example of a one trick pony.

    Really, this story just piss me off... And I really don't understand why. But if I have to point out the thing that irks me the most, I would say that it's the fact that Harry alternate so frequently between a bad-ass warrior mage, to a drooling inexperienced, socially awkward teenager when he is in reality more than 100 years old.

    And I never really like the roller-coaster image of the main-protagonist power as a mean to keep the plot going. I mean, first Harry appeared all-powerful but since it's kind of boring we have a debilitating disease that saps his magic. But then, after being cured, he is the same day robed of half his power. It just doesn't work for me, it's too much manga-like.

    On the other hand, you have to be amazed by the wealth of the universe the author depicted. Also the others characters are actually quite well written.

    In the end I will not give it a rating, because even if I took no pleasure in reading it, it still kept my attention for several hours.

    I know that this review is kind of a pointless rant, but I just had to try to express my reaction to this story.
     
Loading...