Title: The Apprentice
Author: Deborah Peters
Rating: M
Genre: Drama
DLP Category: Time Travel
Pairing: Severus/Lily
Chapters: 21
Words: 94,312
Updated: September 28, 2011
Published: September 7, 2010
Status: Abandoned
Summary: In 1998, Severus Snape was given a second chance. In 1976, he has to figure out how to take it.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6306296/1/The_Apprentice

Many here at DLP will likely be turned off by the pairing, but this fic deserves to be given a chance. Unlike most fics with this pairing, this fic actually has a plot and the romance is relatively unobtrusive.

This story has solid spelling and grammar and it avoids many of the pitfalls that occur both with Snape as a major character and in the Time Travel genre. This fic also features fairly realistic characterizations; don't expect any of the extreme fanon caricatures that plague fanfiction.

Snape stays fairly in character in this fic. He does not become a brash Gryffindor or a suave (and handsome) ladies' man. He remains a greasy and often unpleasant individual who is awkward at best when dealing with emotional situations.

The Marauders and future Death Eaters alike are portrayed as exactly what they are, teenagers. Neither group are pure evil nor are they completely innocent.

In a refreshing change of pace for a time travel fic, Snape knows that the time travel didn't make him Merlin, and as such he has no plans to duel any Dark Lords. Conversely, he is also not obsessed with 'not changing the timeline'.

I would rate this fic as a solid 4/5 that should not be dismissed due to the pairing alone.



Checked by Minion, January 14, 2013

 

I must say that I'm enjoying reading this fic, especially fairy good portrait of Snape and his abilities. If I were to rate it now, I'd give it between 3.5-4/5. That's said, seeing as it has Snape/Lily pairing, I don't think many people on DLP will like it at all.

 

I think many people want to see an awesome Snape, it's just a hard character to do right, and in 99% of the stories he's in, he's buttfucking Harry. He's one of those characters that you either enjoy reading about when done right, or absolutely loathe.

However, I have yet to read this, so I can't say anything yet.

 

...okay, as the resident Lily/Snape shipper on the site, I felt obliged to take a look at this. And...

Well, it's pretty good. The romance has taken a major backseat to the plot, which is basically Snape's quest to become a celebrated potions academic - or rather, reclaim said position (since it's one of those fics where after he died he went back in time to his worst memory and started over - the most cliched premise for Lily/Snape fics). The plot is very slow-moving, with very little action, mostly set in the shop where Snape works.

I will give points to the author where points are due. The characterization of most of the characters is pretty damned good - I liked Snape's characterization (albeit he's not nearly as bitter or sarcastic as he could be, which was a bit of a letdown), and Lily's characterization is a bit spotty (her maturity seems to fluctuate at times, which gets irritating). Most of the supporting cast is reasonably interesting, with the standout being the potions master Arsenius Jigger, whom Snape apprentices under and is an anal bastard of excellent proportions. And more points are given with the Marauders not being incredibly obnoxious dicks throughout the story (although I don't have a damn clue what the hell she's trying to do with Lupin, the characterization there is just... weird). I'll give more points for some superb atmosphere building on behalf of the author, with meticulous detail that I found very engaging. And most of the non-romantic dialogue is great and well-written.

My problems with the story stem from a few things. Firstly, the premise is overused - since Sindie (the first author to write a Lily/Snape story worth reading) utilized the 'redo-life' plot, so many authors have attempted it, with varying success. Here... eh, it's executed decently, but I'm downright shocked Dumbledore hasn't caught on to things yet. And the romance is so-so in this story - while it does feel appropriately awkward between Lily and Snape, I find it extremely difficult to buy Snape's apparent abilities to distance himself from his feelings to Lily, which he does fairly often. To me, it just doesn't match up well with canon. And finally, it's an incredibly slow-building story, which will throw a LOT of people off - there's been very little action, which just feels kind of off to me, given the setting of the fic. And while I find Snape is written well, I still find the niggling plans he has to destroy Horcruxes frustrating to overlook - it just strikes me as really out-of-place.

Is it the best Lily/Snape fic ever written? Well, not as of yet: Matt Quinn's Wrath of the Half-Blood Prince is still safely the best of the ship, and unless I decide to start working on Rewriting the Song again, I don't really see that changing much. But this fic is worth reading, particularly if you have any tolerance for Snape and you skim the majority of the romantic bits (which are thankfully quite brief).

So yeah, 4.5/5 from me, with a definite potential to go up, and a rec to anyone who's willing to take a look.

 

Never read a Snape/Lily fic... never even wanted to. That said, this is pretty good so far. As has been said, the romance takes a back seat but that's cool, Snape has to concentrate on not royally fucking up his life for a change.

Apart from Dumbledore, Snape has the most potential for a redo fic simply because he had so much potential that he tossed away.

Solid 4/5 for me. No higher certainly, and likely to be voted lower by people who dislike Snape.

EDIT: I'd like to add that the relationship between Jigger and Snape is written almost perfectly. He's growing to be one of my favourite OCs.

 

I really did try to read this, seeing as I've never really seen a well written Snape of all people going back in time more than 20 years. The story was pretty interesting near the beginning, but I soon got bored with it being so damn slow. Not much is happening.

Though it is a good story to read, right now I'd rate this a 4/5 for having been well-written. I just couldn't really get into it, but I'm sure other people will.

 

4/5 for me too. Certainly characterized far better than most Lily/Snape out there. And, personally, I didn't mind the slow pace as it allowed far more of the character advancement to occur which is the fic's strength. Snape is a douche, which was good, as most fics either make him nice or make him a gigantic dick, so the middle ground is nice.

Just enjoyable to read. I read Wrath of the Half Blood Prince at Silens' rec, but it had a lot of issues with Snape's character and attitude that I found quite grating. This fic reminded me how it should be done. For that, it gets points.

 

Well, here's the thing with Matt Quinn's stuff - it's exceptionally violent and action-packed, and the writing is fast-paced enough to sustain my interest all the way through, which for a story that is 80% action, that's saying something.

And maybe it's just me, but I liked Snape's characterization in Matt Quinn's work a little more, just because while it is ruthlessly analytical, real emotion does play a role, which I consider in stark contrast to this fic, in which Snape represses his emotions a little too easily.

Eh, personal opinion, though.

 

I liked this quite a bit, though I haven't read any other fics in the genre/ship so I don't really have a basis for comparison. I pretty much agree with what Silens outlined, though I think a lot of it can be explained/handwaved by teenage hormones. Also, while Lupin was a bit weird, it struck me that it looked like she had him hitting on Snape. Maybe.

 

I'm just starting this now, and I gotta say that the first two lines grab me in a way no fanfic has in a while.

Two sentences and I'm already liking it.

High expectations. I quite like Snape-centric fics. The great thing about reading Snape is that he's actually competent. You don't have any of those frustrating "I'll ask Hermione" moments you always get with Harry. Or, you don't have to buy a tenuous line of reasoning which makes Harry competent when he gave no sign of skill before.

Snape's skill level is exactly what Harry's should have been. Impressive, and far above most wizards - even relatively skilled ones - but still not sufficient to simply out-duel Voldemort/Dumbledore.

 

I quite liked this. It was well-written, interesting, and realistic. The only slight cause for frustration was the letters.

>.>

I hate letters in fanfiction. And the ones here were among the more annoying breed.

Still, Snape is a very difficult character to pull off well, and the author did an admirable job. Lily's character was pretty good, too. Inconsistent and wavering, yes, but in a way that's wholly appropriate to a teenage girl under those circumstances.

After reading this, I think I might go hunt down some more Snapecentrid re-do fics, if I can find any.

 

I'm looking into reading some new HP stuff, so this is good. Be back with a review later.

@Matt Quinn Discussion: Funnily enough, I'm decent mates with him on another forum where he posted the stuff. He's a decent writer, though I find myself withdrawing more and more out of the HP fandom. It's just ... so small and nearly everything has been done. It's only guys like Joe and Santi who keep me in it.

 

Could you point to a fandom that's larger?

 

Sorry, meant the HP universe, the places we go to in the stories, like how Joe goes into Atlantis and half the modern world, or how Santi explores Durmstrang or how Jbern explored various fields of magic. English as a second language has cursed me again. :facepalm

Edit: 4/5, easily. There's not that much action, but sometimes a story doesn't need that sort of thing. Snape's competent, somewhat likeable (its Snape after all) and all of the characters are presented logically.

 

I like this. I agree with much of the praise (and a few of the criticisms) of the fic in this thread, but there's also one more thing that I've enjoyed with it: the author's Potions mechanics.

A lot of fics run a bit stale because they don't really try to explore and expand the bounds of Rowling's in-canon magic. This story's treatment of potions brewing is elegant and generally interesting, without stealing the focus away from the characterizations and (simple, so far) plot. I view this as an impressive accomplishment because it's probably harder to make potions interesting than, say, magical duels.

4.5/5 so far.

 

4/5 from me as well.

The greatest thing about this is the utter lack of training montage that becomes the entirety of the fic that you see in other time-travel fics. Severus spends more time downplaying and deflecting his true power, and focuses on beating his enemies with his brain, not the ultra-mega-death-wand-laser-spell. This is how more time travel fics should be.

 

Except the creepy factor that most redo fanfiction share - (mentally, Snape is old and Lily isn't even 17 both mentally and physically)... but except that, it is an enjoyable fic.

And pretty much what the posters above said.

 

Spoiler

And then she reached up, threaded her hand through his hair behind his head, pulled his face towards hers, and got hit in the eye by his nose.


"Oops," Lily said as Severus died inside. "Let me—"

I died as well, died of laughter.


Joking aside, I'm enjoying this story as the first Snape-centric I've taken the time to read. If you try to view Lily as a mature character she'll seem inconsistent, but to me she seems like a perfectly normal teenager. One thing that does bother me a little is the occasional sentence where the author will use hyphens like they're going out of style.


4/5 for now, but I could definitely see myself uprating this.

 

This was a good read, quite entertaining most of the time and with solid technical writing. I liked the authors idea to get Snape out of Hogwarts ASAP and I think the reluctant long distance romance he has with Lily is adding spice to the low but continuous groundswell of tension in the story. I was a bit put off when I reached the last chapter- and that's one of the best things I can say about a fanfic. 4/5