1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice

  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice
DLP Story Competition Guest User Registration Nag SPS + NTT

Complete WIP - Remus Lupin, PI by Larry Huss - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by wolf550e, Apr 27, 2011.

3.4807691574097/5, 52 votes
Page 2 of 2
  1. Genghiz Khan

    Genghiz Khan Headmaster

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2011
    Messages:
    1,157
    Location:
    Darujistan
    Apr 30, 2011 #21
    3/5

    Red till the tenth chapter before face-palming. He should have more friends in his own year and of all people, why did he have to talk to the beaver!!

    Also, whatever Grubdubdub said.
     
  2. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    8,378
    Location:
    The South
    Apr 30, 2011 #22
    Well, after I kept seeing this story at the top of the "For Review" pile for several days I decided to give it a go. I'm generally a fan of Lupin when he isn't being characterized as Emo so I'm looking forward to reading it... I think.

    I was impressed by the first paragraph.
    That's pretty good stuff if you ask me. And it actually makes sense. Even if the rest of the story frickin' sucks I'm glad I opened it just for this -- though it won't save the rating if it doesn't deserve it. Being a Private Investigator is the sort of job that Lupin could actually do, though how much my impressions are biased by Dresden I don't know. But he was good at school, even if he wasn't brilliant, he's capable of operating in both Muggle and Magical worlds, and this should allow him to deal well with his "furry little problem."

    /end rant. When I finish reading I'll either post again with a detailed review of the story or just update this one, depending how far I get / how long it takes.
     
    ParseltonguePhoenix
  3. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2007
    Messages:
    293
    Location:
    Dún na ngall
    High Score:
    5,792
    Apr 30, 2011 #23
    It was DLP worthy right up until the characerisations of the Hogwarts students. I mean christ. What the fuck was that? It's not awful but damn, those characters make me rage.

    2.5/5
     
  4. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    8,378
    Location:
    The South
    Apr 30, 2011 #24
    I really enjoy the writing style. It's just plain fun to read. But the dialogue is a bit stilted sometimes, doesn't feel nearly as natural. I find myself often enjoying hearing about the conversations rather than the conversations themselves.

    The various drugs and alcohol he uses to mellow out his wolf have me laughing, as does his seemingly casual willingness to sleep with just about anyone. Finding Harry took a while but was feasible given his profession (much better than having Lupin randomly wander across Harry in a park somewhere).

    Harry, Remus, and Sirius all do a fair bit of pretending to be people they aren't, and that's great, but only Sirius seems to actually change into Cesar (in later chapters). I found that to be irksome as I'd much rather see "Sirius said..." while he's pretending to be someone else, or have Harry think of him as "Sirius" in his head at least.

    Dumbledore is a bit overdone and too 2-dimensional for my tastes. Also, maybe I missed it, but weren't the primary means of disguise for Harry (1) changing his eye color a bit, (2) removing his scar, and (3) putting him school a year early? If that's the case I find it hard to believe that no one has commented on his startling resemblance to James Potter.

    In some ways it almost feels as if only the Lupin POV parts are part of a real story and the rest is half-crack!fic. Like the bits with Lupin are sharp and the rest is like a funhouse mirror? lol, that sounds dumb.

    3.5/5 from me, and that's being generous. I think it deserves at least the Recycling Bin because it was a fun read and a good way to spend some time reading, but whether or not it's library-worthy I'm not sure.
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2011
  5. NoxedSalvation

    NoxedSalvation Temporarily Banhammered

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2010
    Messages:
    893
    Location:
    Germany
    Apr 30, 2011 #25
    This story is nothing special, surely not good enough for the DLP library. It had some high points (Sirius Azkaban escape, Harry using second year Hufflepuffs against the Troll, channeling Major Sharpe) but it was mostly boring. I like a manipulative!Dumbledore, but only if it's plausibly done, which is not the case in this fic. Remus muggle lover surviving a surprise meeting with his wolf form wasn't very endearing either, not to speak of the way Quirrelmort offed himself when "trapped wandless" between Lupin and Sinistra (ROFL!).

    2/5
     
  6. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2007
    Messages:
    362
    May 1, 2011 #26
    An entertaining story with the occasional flub. The note format isn't pretty but so far I've managed. One thing that keeps me from rating it yet is...
    What happened to the Marauders' Map? Its absence is suspiciously curious to me for obvious reasons concerning identity...
     
  7. wolf550e

    wolf550e High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2006
    Messages:
    585
    Gender:
    Male
    May 1, 2011 #27
    Either Filch or the twins have it and they didn't feel the need to donate to Harry because he's not in their House and is not best friends with their kid brother.
     
  8. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2007
    Messages:
    362
    May 1, 2011 #28
    But you think the twins would have checked it every once in a while... and it's the time (in canon) when the Map was introduced so the twins should have possession of it...
     
  9. DarthBill

    DarthBill The Chosen One DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2006
    Messages:
    2,230
    Location:
    Texas
    May 1, 2011 #29
    Well, Harry's name has been changed legally (I think) and in every place Lupin could think of. He doesn't even think of himself as Potter anymore. I wouldn't be surprised if the map didn't recognize him as Harry Potter.
     
    wolf550e
  10. Mock Moniker

    Mock Moniker Professor

    Joined:
    May 12, 2008
    Messages:
    462
    May 17, 2011 #30
    I finally got around to reading this. It's very refreshing and unique.
    At first, I thought it was definitely 5/5 material, but the Hogwarts sections are pretty bad. Especially the ones regarding Padma, Hermione, and Luna.

    For a very cool take on Lupin, but some really awful pre-teen romance and a few other scenes that bugged me, (like Lupin suddenly telling Augusta all about Harry, or revelations feeling forced like Harry asking if there had been noises in the pipes, and Dumbledore being basically retarded), I'll give it a 3/5.
    This Lupin isn't really in line with canon Lupin, but I don't mind that at all. I felt like he was a joy to read about.

    The fic is kind of weird though. It has a lot of very interesting and well written parts, but also some incredibly awkward and awful bits.
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2011
  11. Kurufinwe

    Kurufinwe Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2010
    Messages:
    387
    Location:
    Cracow, Poland
    May 18, 2011 #31
    Beginning was pretty good and I had high expectation for this fiction, but all changed with Hogwarts...
    Spoiler (highlight to show):
    Do only I find it annoying that although the sorting last for hours and there are hundreds of new students every year, it is not mentioned and used more?
    Overall 3,5/5 - maybe for Azkaban bit, I will give bonus of half point so 4/5. It's good, but rather not DLP material especially with latests chapters. If writer fix it, I will be all for it. There aren't many nice story with Lupin.
     
  12. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2011
    Messages:
    176
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    High Score:
    3,164
    May 18, 2011 #32
    Where the fuck did you come from?
     
  13. samkar

    samkar Temporarily Banhammered

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2010
    Messages:
    820
    May 20, 2011 #33
    The writing degraded more and more from the good beginning. When Harry arrives at Hogwarts it's got unreadable. I can only give this a 2 because of the nice beginning.
     
  14. vipindon

    vipindon Muggle

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2007
    Messages:
    3
    Jun 4, 2011 #34
    Gud one

    4.5/5 I have read so many fiction that when i see a good idea i want to encourage the idea along with author so that his writing may eovle. recently there is not good material with inventive idea and all the gud one are already explored and done
     
  15. DarthBill

    DarthBill The Chosen One DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2006
    Messages:
    2,230
    Location:
    Texas
    Jun 7, 2011 #35
    Wow, you come out of 3.5 years of lurkage for that poop of a post?
     
  16. Starwind

    Starwind Headmaster

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2010
    Messages:
    1,075
    Jun 7, 2011 #36
    Really? Really?

    Clearly you haven't read fiction for atleast two years, as this is clique as it gets from about five years ago... and the new fics out now make this look like something you use to compare your work with on "what not to do" ... on another note, why is this still here? I would've thought it would've been Recycled by now...
     
  17. Anarchy

    Anarchy Half-Blood Prince DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2009
    Messages:
    3,687
    Location:
    NJ
    Jun 7, 2011 #37
    Well, it is in the recycling bin...
     
    Ched
  18. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2011
    Messages:
    176
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    High Score:
    3,164
    Jun 23, 2011 #38
    Updated. While not directly relevant to the main plot, I find the subplot explored in this chapter pretty interesting.
     
  19. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    1,084
    Location:
    Australia.
    High Score:
    3694
    Jun 24, 2011 #39
    The Marcia Mcartny character is pretty amusing. I'm looking forward to seeing how things play out there and what'll happen when she confronts whoever about her suspicions. Writing is still solid. Not much Harry, but meh.
     
  20. wolf550e

    wolf550e High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2006
    Messages:
    585
    Gender:
    Male
    Jul 14, 2011 #40
    Two chapters in a row without the kids. Voldemort is amusing.
     
Page 2 of 2
Loading...
Similar Threads
  1. aspiring_failure

    WIP The Bureaucratic Error by Iniga - T

    aspiring_failure, Dec 3, 2020, in forum: Almost Recommended
    Replies:
    24
    Views:
    7,906
    Nevermind
    Feb 25, 2023
  2. JoJo23

    Oneshot Registration by Copperbadge - T

    JoJo23, May 9, 2020, in forum: Almost Recommended
    Replies:
    6
    Views:
    1,639
    Shouldabeenadog
    May 18, 2020
  3. Ched

    Complete Stages of Hope by kayly silverstorm - T

    Ched, Aug 31, 2012, in forum: Almost Recommended
    Replies:
    12
    Views:
    13,390
    Charlesnaismith
    Nov 14, 2013