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WIP Prince of the Dark Kingdom by Mizuni-sama - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by headbanger22, Oct 10, 2007.

  1. Garden

    Garden Supreme Mugwump

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    I'm not following at all.
     
  2. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    If you've been following the Ron/Lucius subplot, there was a moment of narration that explained it.
     
  3. RustyRed

    RustyRed High Inquisitor

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    Are you referring to the fact that
    Ron cursed Lucius, thus how Tom was able to get away with poisoning him and slowly gaining power without anyone noticing because of Lucius' steady decline?

    edit: heh, good point T3t
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2011
  4. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Yes, that, though I'd have put it in spoiler tags because presumably Sree hasn't gotten there yet.
     
  5. Hawkin

    Hawkin Chief Warlock

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    I think we can see here why Voldemort is different. The Voldemort Rowling depicted never truly evolved from the 16 years old. He went on and tried to take over government but because of a child was set back for 16 years. I'd be pissed personnally. Add to that that you have been spending 14 years as a spirit and you got one deranged psychopath. Tom is like that at the moment. He has one goal and no experience in the political area and for all of his genius, one still need experience to really understand that.

    The Voldemort depicted in this story managed to take control of the government the first time around. We don't have that much background on how that happen, but I'm guessing it was messy and full of blood. He eliminated everything that was on his way (i.e. Neville) and probably gained more insight on how to govern. 10 years later, he is probably a much better politician than he ever was a the start of his reign. He also has a lot less opponent than he had when he first took over, so the ruthless act is probably less necessary.

    Although, he still is completely heartless. I think I remember a moment where a clerk brought bad news and Snape saw him 'leave' the office in separate pieces. Check the German-British confrontation and you can see that Voldemort is still ruthless.
     
  6. iLost

    iLost Minister of Magic

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    The divergence in this Universe, if I recall, was once Tome Riddle as a student took interest in a druidic class they offered at Hogwarts, the one Harry took, thus learning about gods and whatnot. His teacher was his first mentor. He and Brennan I think shared the same one.

    As to how he took over. I think there was a lot of trouble in the Irish Ministry, Voldemort and his followers took over by eliminating the trouble and took control of that Ministry. Somehow he used that leverage to take over the British one. I may be a bit fuzzy on this, it being several years since I last read the fic.
     
  7. plumbum

    plumbum Muggle

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    Hi Tenages, just letting you know I'm not retarded because I can see the difference between copying someone's plot in its fullest and incorrectly using someone's plot as a framework for author's own plot, of which there is none. Get what I'm sayin? Hence the lack of distinguishable turrning points, therefore no begging, middle or end. Its all just one big middle, and muddled.
     
  8. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Or you're an idiot because his plot is totally unique. Just because he's following JKR's story structure (by year - and then somewhat loosely, too) doesn't mean anything of the sort.
     
  9. Otters

    Otters Groundskeeper ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    This is not a "story" condensed into palatable form for mass-production or brief performance. This is the chronicle of Harry's life in a different world - there are ups and downs, and important moments, but it doesn't follow the traditional three-act pattern.

    It's another entity entirely, and should be treated as such.

    Frankly, that's one of the things I like best about this. Sure, it's a bit of a mouthful, but if I'm not left wanting more at the end of a story, it's doing something wrong.
     
  10. Tenages

    Tenages Order Member DLP Supporter

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    No you're still an idiot. There's clearly a beginning to this saga. We're also fairly clearly working towards a climactic point and the subsequent conclusion. And the stuff in between is laying the groundwork for that. That's the classic beginning, middle, end.

    As Care-Otters says, there are ups and downs, important moments and subplots strewn throughout the middle. This makes the story more complex and harder to follow yes. It doesn't mean it's all middle.

    Since you need things broken down into the obvious, let me do it for you.

    Beginning
    : Harry is introduced to magic, Voldemort, etc. He develops basic relationships and starts to feel out his place in the world.

    Middle: Harry develops and matures. He begins to confront the over-arching problems he faces and works to resolve them.

    End: Harry confronts Voldemort (presumably), we see if he finds his place in society and resolves the conflict between his ideals, Voldemort's principles, and the societial views they have respectively.

    A little more involved than: Harry sees bad guy, Harry fights bad guy, bad guy dies, but that's ok most of us can process and understand moderately complex ideas and nested stories.

    But that's clearly much too difficult for you. So toddle off now, your Mommy's waiting to read a picture book to you.
     
  11. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Actually, I think he has a point. The story is meant to be 7 books long. We're currently half way through book 6, and the end is nowhere in sight. By this point we should have a clear destination in mind. Harry should have some sort of goal/aim.

    As it is, I can only see two possible ends:

    1. Voldemort successfully creates his empire with Harry as his right hand man.

    2. Harry confronts Voldemort after some serious disagreement and they fight.

    Neither of those are anywhere near close. The former because there are still a hell of a lot of countries left to conquer, the latter because Harry is nowhere near the ability to pose a serious threat to Voldemort, nor does he really have the inclination. It makes me think that this 7 book series is either a prequel to some other story that will be started once the 7th book is done, or the author is just going to leave it hanging.
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2011
  12. plumbum

    plumbum Muggle

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    Needlessly insulting. Tenages the internet bully says there's a beginning, middle, end, but there isn't, not in this story. The conflict doesn't peak to a crescendo, the climax is nowhere in sight. This is not a novel, its a biography.
     
  13. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    You seem to be rather deficient in reading comprehension. There was a beginning, we are currently in the middle, and there will be an end in the future.

    @Taure: At the current pacing of each book (keep in mind book five was 1.5x longer than books 1-4) he has something like 350k words to go, assuming books 6 and 7 span the same length 5 did. He can obviously expand them as well, the pacing is a bit slower than canon but really not by much.
     
  14. psihary

    psihary Groundskeeper

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    3. Taking into account the somewhat friendly relationship between Harry and Voldemort, not to mention the way the author writes Voldemort and Snape (she most likely has them both in Heart shaped pictures on her wall), they are simply not the bad guys in this story and it's quite unlikely that Harry will turn against Voldemort.

    So that leaves us with Tom bringing down Voldemort and Harry on his part, sending his part soul ass onto the next great adventure.
     
  15. RustyRed

    RustyRed High Inquisitor

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    Hm, yeah, what if Harry ends up avenging Voldemort against Tom? That would be a crazy twist. Harry's already pretty high profile and at the top of the political heap; I can see the author leaving us with Harry as the leader going forward.
     
  16. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I can't see Tom catching Voldemort off-guard. Voldemort isn't anywhere near as stupid/irrational as he was in canon, and once the influence from Ron's ritual wears off, he's going to get suspicious mighty quick.
     
  17. RustyRed

    RustyRed High Inquisitor

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    Urgh, this is true. What's the end game here? Our pieces are Harry, Tom, Voldemort, Lucius, Snape, Dumbledore, and the varied heads of Germany, France, etc.

    I can't really see Harry and Voldemort at odds, so that kind of negates Snape's need to support one or the other.

    Lucius seems like he's about to go down hard--which in all likelihood will propel Tom into a more active role.

    And where the hell is Dumbledore and the rest of his faction? Viktor is the vampire king or whatever, and it doesn't seem like he's much for any side anymore.

    I wonder if eventually Dumbledore will force a confrontation, try to get Harry to see how evil Voldemort is. Maybe Harry will end up choosing the 'dark' side, hehe.

    /ramble
     
  18. The Berkeley Hunt

    The Berkeley Hunt Headmaster

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    I completely see a Harry/Voldemort clash in the future. More and more, Harry's ideals and priorities are separate from Voldemort's. Its just inevitable that one day soon Voldemort will do something that Harry can't accept, eg. murder some kids for fun, or create another horcrux, or etc. etc.

    In the endgame, it will be Voldemort in retreat, as the European countries unite against him. All of his minions will gather in preparation for a strong defense. In a pre-emptory strike, Dumbledore and Viktor (who will ally for this) will launch an attack while Voldemort is unprepared. Into this, Tom will attempt to assassinate Voldemort, but fail, severely weakening him in the process. Harry, who at this point will be against Voldemort (for the killing of some werewolves, or something or other), will be just enough to finish the job, and will have to take responsibility as prince of the dark kingdom (there must be a title drop) to help rebuild and so on.
     
  19. Socialist

    Socialist Professor

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    OT

    What I really, really,really would've liked to see in this fic, is more Harry-Dumbledore interaction. He had huge potential for character development (refugee from his own country, beaten by the Dark Lord). Would've loved to see a more ruthless, driven Dumbledore, leading the fight to retake Britain. Instead, what we get, is a Dumbledore who is content to let the prophecy take care of things. /facepalm
     
  20. Stalin's Pipe Organs

    Stalin's Pipe Organs Auror

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    Without spoiling anything for myself, is this a fic about a Dark!Evil! Harry?
     
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