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Oneshot Mud, Blood, & the Sound of Guns by chase glasslace - K+

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Bittersweet Freedom, Jul 26, 2011.

  1. Bittersweet Freedom

    Bittersweet Freedom Second Year

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    Title: Mud, Blood, & the Sound of Guns
    Author: chase glasslace
    Rating: K+
    Genre: Drama/Tragedy
    DLP Category: General
    Status: one-shot
    Pairings: None
    Summary: A different war begins. The people want a saviour who'll protect them from bullets and Harry isn't it. 'Death Eaters killed eleven wizards this week. The Muggles have killed eighty.' [oneshot]
    Link


    Not Harry-centric, or really anyone centric, just a morbid prediction of what would happen to the world if the muggles found out. Sent chills down my spine. Excellent short read. 4/5
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2011
  2. Carmine

    Carmine Unspeakable

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    I quite enjoyed this. The tragic fate of the wizarding world is well-conveyed by the writing style, and it's quite a chilling read, as you say. The writing style is a decent mix of brief introspection and stark informing. The vignette-style setup is quite haphazard, and yet works pretty well.

    All in all, 4.5/5.
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2011
  3. Portus

    Portus Heir

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    I'll say this: the author has some writing talent.

    I fully expected to read that and proceed directly to ripping your ass for yet another in a string of head-scratchingly awful entries in For Review. I'm still amazed that while it wasn't great, it was very good.

    I suppose my only quibble is the one you'll get from most of DLP, and that is that there is no way that a group of even halfway competent magical folk would be in danger. I don't need to go any further than the words "Fidelius Charm" to make my point.

    Still, and despite the inevitable Muggles v. Wizards debate, version 5,162, this is a well-written one-shot, even if it does seem a bit condescending and characters like Hermione seem OOC.

    EDIT: 3.5-4 of 5
     
  4. Rym

    Rym Auror

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    Hot damn, that was awesome. This guy really knows how to write. It makes me wish he wrote a novel length fic, as opposed to a bunch of one-shots.

    4.5/5 from me. Nice find, for sure.
     
  5. Carmine

    Carmine Unspeakable

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    Well, I just saw this in the author's profile.

    Sounds good, actually.
     
    Rym
  6. Celestin

    Celestin Dimensional Trunk

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    Premise of this story only works if it's so short. A long version? Without starting another magic vs. technology debate, I very curious how author will explain Muggles killing wizards when they shouldn't be able to even find them.

    Anyway, it's very brief and aside one good "joke" about a Minster and a DE, I don't see anything library worthy in it so - 3/5.
     
  7. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity Destroyer of Worlds ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Very good in execution and style. While perhaps not for everyone's tastes, I enjoyed it a great deal.

    5/5
     
  8. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I read this a while ago, thought it was very well done, especially considering the author was 15 at the time. 4.5/5. I'd read the expanded version, should he ever write it.
     
  9. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I think y'all know me well enough by now to know why this fic makes me rage like it's 2007.
     
  10. ViolentRed

    ViolentRed Professor

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    And then the ICW swept down on the Muggleworld and obliviated the lot of them, because only the side, that knew the other existed, had a contingency plan in place.

    Well written, but the prose seems meant to grap you by the throat and shake you, with lines like 'Are you laughing yet?'. But it can't get me to care enough for that to really work. Premise is meh, execution is fine. Too short to really make an impact, but it's style doesn't really permit anything longer. Don't really get why Hermione always seems to choose the Muggles, when she left that world for magic without looking back. 'We stole their memories' doesn't really mean much, when this is the alternative. Doesn't really seem to warrant annihilation anyway.

    Not a story I'll remember in two days time.

    3/5
     
  11. Tenages

    Tenages Order Member DLP Supporter

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    I find the premise earth-shatteringly stupid. I'm of Taure's view on that matter.

    Hermione, moreover, I found to be incredibly OOC and poorly written.

    Technically, it's well written. I don't think the writing was great, it tried to hard. It didn't make the impact the author wanted. And even a beautifully written idea with a horrible premise is still not a great story. Nor did it have originality to help it. This premise has been done a thousand times before.

    And the only thing that makes me rage more than the premise is that the author thinks he should make a longer fic out of it. No, you shouldn't. You should let it rot in the junkheap of poor ideas.

    Rage/5
     
  12. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    Better than Pathetic and To Ardent Glory for Children, but still the same pretentious, overly-excited writing that's too melodramatic to be taken seriously. 2/5.

    I think this is the best exponent of this style of writing as I've seen, but it's used on a stupid and fatally flawed premise.

    Wasted.
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2011
  13. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    It has serious flaws, not just concerning the Muggle vs. Wizard debate.

    If you are able to accept the premise that Muggles might be able to surprise Wizards with an attack, then it's a nice short read. Though it really isn't that spectacular.
     
  14. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    I see no reason to expand this into a chapter fic, as it will almost certainly ask for an unreasonable amount of suspension of disbelief.
     
  15. Scrib

    Scrib The Chosen One

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    I didn't get what people were raging about early on. After all, it was never stated if the Muggles were actually killing wizards, only they killed a few people. The we got Hogsmeade, :facepalm.

    But it can be done in a chapter format, it just requires more faith than I have in this author to say he'll be the one to do it. I mean, it's even stated in the story, in the third headline. There are a whole bunch of people with magic who may feel more allegiance to the Muggle world. Who says they're gonna fight on the wizarding side? Granted it wouldn't be a pure wizard vs. muggle conflict but it could still work. But such stories require ridiculous detail and characterization to show people turning against their kind and this guy's writing style makes me doubt him.

    It's terrible, I've always hated stuff written like this for some reason and this is no exception. The finale was particular bad. No I'm not laughing at all..

    Plus I'm of the opinion that this isn't really anything library-worthy. It's more of a short exploration piece than a story.

    2/5
     
  16. Infidel

    Infidel Auror

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    Doesn't the sentence contradict itself? Magic spreads thinner while a muggle child practices unforgivables?
     
  17. Bittersweet Freedom

    Bittersweet Freedom Second Year

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    I think when it said magic was spreading "further and thinner" it meant sort of that magic was like tree, branching off and affecting more people's lives. Dunno. I'm not the author.
     
  18. Blazzano

    Blazzano Unspeakable

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    The writing is good, but the whole Muggle vs. Wizards thing is not something I like to see written about in short, abstract one-shots.

    IMO that concept deserves a proper, meticulous treatment - one that accurately reflects the complexities of human nature. This story vaguely hints at it ("Muggleborns tell all!") but hints aren't enough, IMO.

    The simple version is this: "all wizards vs. all muggles" is absurd; there are virtually no circumstances that would unite all wizards against all Muggles, and vice versa. There would almost always be people working against the main interests of their "race," either in exploitative self-interest or misguided sympathy for the other side. That's what makes the concept interesting to me, and that's what gives it real life, in the hands of the right author.

    To see it glossed over gives me no pleasure: I give this story 3.25/5, rounded down.
     
  19. Plothole

    Plothole Fifth Year

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    I honestly didn't like it very much. I found the writing style too jolting and a bit confusing and it seemed like a few of the characters were really ooc. The author has some talent, but this premise is way too controversial (mostly here) to really get into and write a story that's going to get good reviews about.
    That being said it's still better than most of the crap being put in the For Review section nowadays. 3/5
     
  20. Agravaine

    Agravaine Seventh Year

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    Then it should come as no surprise that I liked this. ;)

    Don't have any problem with the premise (although I got a laugh out of Taure's ff.net review) or with Hermione's characterization. Thought the piece contains some excellent turns of phrase, although the prose occasionally falls flat. The "are you laughing yet?" motif is particularly obnoxious and knocks it down a point.

    4/5
     
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