Unlike you? :awesome

 

We don't even know if it's possible for someone to put another name in. Sure, Crouch did it, but he had to use an extremely powerful Confundus Charm. We don't know if Krum could do the same. And even if he could, everyone will be probably be watching when he puts his name in, so he won't have the chance anyway.

Either way, I think Harry will always try to pass the Age Line himself first. Asking Krum will be a last resort and by that time, he'll probably be too late. He only has one day after all and has to enter in secret.

I wonder why Rosier is so adamant on Calypso going to Hogwarts. Does he really want her to compete? Or is there a different reason? Him calling Karakov a traitor was an interesting touch, considering he was once lamenting the choices of his family.

 

Maybe the protagonist and Calypso will compete on defeating that age line. Then asking Krum is the cunning option, so I guess Calypso will do that. Switching pieces of parchment with a little sleight of hand is not too hard for a seeker. Krum can manage. Whether the goblet knows it's not your own name, we don't know. But maybe all that's needed is for the protagonist to sign a piece of parchment and the Goblet will accept that as him wishing to enter willingly, with no Confundus required. After all, the age line is not a part of the goblet's magic. It may not care who hands in the parchment as long as it was written by someone's hand.

Rosier calling Karkaroff a traitor may not mean "I think you are a traitor". Karkaroff was labeled a traitor by other DEs and they tried to kill him. Rosier has been helping Karkaroff all this time, so Rosier does not share Malfoy's agenda regarding Karkaroff. But Rosier reminds Karkaroff that Karkaroff has powerful enemies and without Rosier's help Karkaroff will be vulnerable, especially outside of Durmstrang in Britain.

 

Very nice update. This is a great story; I signed up at DLP to be able to read the updated chapters at WbA. Given Harry's conversation with Kosarev at the end of this chapter, it seems the plot will stretch beyond Harry's years at Durmstrang. I wonder, how much will canon serve as a backdrop for Harry's story, and how much will it interact and change with these new developments? I would think the changed circumstances - e.g. the Potters alive and well, Sirius out of prison, the Potter boys growing up in a loving wizarding home, not to mention Harry's burgeoning talents - would knock some canon events off their course, but so far it seems the original story is largely unaffected. This is not necessarily a criticism, just a question whether the overarching plot of this story is Harry's own, or whether he is meant to be inserted into the "book"-plotline anytime soon.

The fourth year seems to me to be the most promising thus far. It offers the most opportunities for interaction with the people from the world he left behind when he went to Durmstrang, and the reactions all around are sure to be interesting. Will Harry and the other Durmstrang students share classes with Hogwarts students? Will Harry sit with the sixth years in Transfiguration and Charms, even though he wasn't allowed to jump classes while at Hogwarts? It would be an amusing irony if Harry managed to get into advanced classes at Hogwarts by switching schools.

One thing that I've been wondering, how is it going for Harry at Durmstrang in his various classes? It seems fair to assume that he achieved the rank of Master in Charms and Transfiguration, and Journeyman in Dark Arts. Presumably he got J's in all other classes. However, there seems to be quite the broad spectrum of academic achievements that the grade of J covers. Is Harry still struggling with Spell Creation? Would he receive the equivalent of Outstanding in all his classes, as if were at Hogwarts?

Now, for a comment on a persistent grammatical mistake.

This is a hypercorrection. It should be "my brother and me". Consider if you were to omit "my brother" from your sentence, and you would see why "I" is wrong. You've made this exact mistake many times in previous chapters and I haven't seen anyone point it out, so I thought I would bring it to your attention. The effect is that the speaker appears pompous and ignorant, using the seemingly more proper-sounding "you and I" phrasing, but in fact being grammatically incorrect. If this is your intention, fine, but I don't think that is the case.

 

And here I thought that was Vash's thing. You stealing from your fellow DLPer? :awesome

 

Now, you are technically correct. You are correct. But in dialogue, as Santi uses it, it is forgivable. Even preferred, given the context.

Think about when you speak to someone. People, and especially the English, do use the 'She and I'. 'She and I went to the park. We drank tea under the cherry blossoms.'

It works. You can bend the rules.

Technicalities aside, this usage is acceptable.

Edit: Santi, I am long overdue in reviewing your magnificent story. Just know that I am both intimidated and impressed. This is the kind of story I want to be writing. I'll make a note to review soon. Keep up the awesome work.

 

He, she and I went somewhere. Someone gave something to him, her and me.

 

To make the post above more explicit:

"X and I" is the subject form.

"Me and X" is the object form.

Joe and I looked into a mirror. We saw me and Joe.

Red - subject.
Purple - verb.
Blue - object.

That said, as Joe remarked, it was in dialogue. Given that it's a very common overcorrection, especially among the middle classes (which is what I imagine Harry as), it's understandable that Harry would speak like that.

Chapter was awesome. I am very eagerly awaiting Harry using Aqua Eructo.

 

Truly great update! I liked how Santi skipped over the appearance of the DE and marginalised their drunken stunt-it was believable and apparently Barty escaped before seeing them.

The duels were both great. The first clearly showed Harrys superiority in Charms and Transfiguration and the second his new aggressive dueling style. Calypsos thoughts during the second duel were amusing, she begins to understand that Harry is eventually going to outrun her in her forte and she doesn't like it. I can see why this got so violent.

Nice twist on the age line. I believe Rosier wanted to cut down the potential competitors and maybe also wants to test Harry and Calypso to see if they can find a way around it. Harry already wormed his way into the delegation by himself, I think Rosier liked that.

The thoughts on the other competitors in the delegation further show Harrys extraordinary talent in many fields. He truly would be the best champion and when he finds a way to enter his name I believe the goblet would select him.


And no marriage contract anymore-seems like Calypso really is infertile. I can't see another reason for Romulus to not use one.

 

Re: hypercorrections...
The important thing is to be aware of the technical error, and then decide whether the character should still be speaking that way. Often, incorrect usage of the "she and I" phrasing is made by writers who want to write grammatically correct sentences but don't quite manage it, thinking "I" naturally seems more correct than "me". I've seen some true abominations in this vein, e.g. "[...] he intruded on [name] and I's dance [...]".

Now, it's not only Harry who makes this mistake in this story, but at least also Nathan, Remus, James and Romulus.

Edit:
I just thought of something more about the update I wanted to say, hehe. I think it was a very good choice to have the other potential champions seem lacklustre; it puts to rest any silly notions that Durmstrang as a whole simply produces superior students. It is Harry and Calypso (and Krum, I suppose) that are exceptional. The learning environment in Durmstrang is probably conducive to their talents and abilities, but Durmstrang isn't obviously a "better" school than Hogwarts.

 

Calypso, patient? She hexed him last time he was late...I guess she could have matured...

Also, Rosier has been acting strange lately, though I'm sure it's all going to add up...But cancelling the possible marriage contract (Calypso unable to have kids?) , travelling during the holidays with no explanation to his daughter about where he was and now threatening the Highmaster so as to allow Calypso into Hogwarts! I would have thought he would not want the wrong powerful people (Dumbledore?) raising questions about her parentage. And wouldn't there be rumors and whispers among the DE's about Voldemort's return? If Rosier had heard about that, keeping Calypso out of the whole mess would be imperative. Does that mean no one has a clue yet He will be back? Finally, why would Rosier encourage the age limit, and then 'encourage' the Highmaster to allow Calypso to enter, is it to reduce the competition?

Now, these predictions may have been said already...
I think Harry is going to be chosen instead of Krum, with Cedric and Fleur as the two other champions. I assume Nathan is going to be forced into it although I'm a bit curious about how, will there be a fake Moody to put his name in? Which brings me to Crouch Jr., has he escaped? Assuming the elf that took the curse was Winky and he got away...


Next prediction is that Harry, as his seventh year project or later on, will manage to produce those multi-person-needed wards by himself...Oh and maybe remove Grindelwald's mark/curse at Durmstrang...

Definite LOL for Krum's reaction to the 'friendly duel' and

The ‘Meet the competition part’ was my least favourite part in this update, I was disappointed at the lack of serious competition (The portrayal that most seventh years chosen were inadequate) but then, that is Calypso's portrayal...


Also,

Although, I guess weary works, did you mean wary?

Okay, done, although I can't help but speculate if the Potters' reactions will drive Harry away when they see him at Hogwarts...

 

Hmm, I never actually thought he would write about it either. I just assumed that he would heavily imply it at the end of a scene.

Wolf550e, thanks for the correction. I did assume that topless would lead to sex at some point during that year. Perhaps, that was an incorrect assumption to make as it relies mainly on my personal experience.

Daidalos, why did you pick that grammatical error to point out? It seems weird to me. Most everyone else has already pointed out why it doesn't matter so I'm not going to hop on that band wagon. Is it just a pet peeve of yours?

As for your question about journeyman grades, it would sort of be the equivalent of an O at Hogwarts. I say sort of because it depends on the project. It could also be a lower grade, but this is irrelevant. The rest of the class system at Durmstrang is on the same OWL/NEWT grading system. The only thing that is graded differently is the final project. So, I would assume that the students already have an idea of where they stand on the standardized test level.

I doubt it very much. These magical schools don't get along very well. The only thing they are really interested in with this tournament is showing up the other schools. If it doesn't involve showing up the other schools or stealing information from the other schools then I doubt they are all that interested in it.

Besides, Durmstrang classes do not line up well with the Hogwarts curriculum. What do I mean by this? Well, at the start, Hogwarts moves at a more advanced pace because they have less people in the classes, but, as the students advance, people are dropped. Slowly the Durmstrang curriculum overtakes the Hogwarts curriculum. A 6th year in Transfiguration at Durmstrang does not equal a 6th year in Transfiguration at Hogwarts. This is why Durmstrang has a high failure rate.

 

It's a small pet peeve of mine, since you asked. But the reason I remarked upon was that it was an error that was committed on numerous occasions and no one pointed it out (to my knowledge). It's a common enough mistake, but this is no common story and any errors, no matter how small, are irksome.

There are other grammatical error to be sure, but most seemed simple mistakes and not as consistent as the one I pointed out. Considering how much people here tend to bitch about bad grammar in various stories, I thought it appropriate to bring it up.

Yes, I'm sure the students know where they stand, what I was saying was that I don't know where Harry stands. For instance, we know Harry struggled with Spell Creation in his first year, and also had some difficulties in his second year. He received assistance from Kira and managed to contrive an impressive enough final project to achieve a Master rank in the subject. Since then, the assistance from Kira has ended, and I don't think we've heard much about the class. Is he still struggling? Is he at the top of the class (of not quite THE top)? I assume he received a "J" in third year, because as far as I remember receiving an "A" meant you had to re-do the year, and I'm sure something like that would be mentioned. But that "J" doesn't tell us how Harry is doing beyond qualifying for next year's class, and that was the reason for my question.

Yes, I certainly know that, but that seems to present a difficulty for the Durmstrang and Beauxbatons students. All their teachers stay at their respective schools. Are they (the students) going to undertake individual studies for almost the entire year, without instruction (excepting some correspondence)? It would seem to me that this would severely hamper and disadvantage the students from the other schools, while Hogwarts students still go to their classes.

Furthermore, from a story-standpoint, it seems a bit of a waste for the students to be at Hogwarts if they aren't going to be doing anything other than watching their champions participate at three events, taking up no more time than three days total. What are they going to do for the rest of their time there?

 

The first part of the chapter was interesting. However, I feel a lack of something to keep the reader reading, like information on some unresolved plot.

On one hand, your story is mostly about Harry descent (or ascension) into the Dark Arts and the Dark side and as mostly been driven by a descriptive writing style: more like a biography then a trailer.

Rosier threat to Karkaroff is still too recent; it’ll be interesting to see where it goes. As for the Tournament, we have been talking about it for so long...

On the other hand, his interest in the Dark Arts seems forced, lack subtlety and is a bit too blunt for my taste. The scene with Kreacher and the Duel are example that.

Harry study the Dark Arts for two main reasons: social pressure from his friend and because they are the only spell in your universe that are worth using in a duel. While it’s not wrong to do so, I don’t really feel a real internal moral dilemma about using those spell. You don’t seem to make a distinction between learning “combat spell” used in a controlled environment and “ritual” that demands to take the life of a living being.

Killing is hard, harder than “I feel sorry”, especially the first time. His lack of true reaction after killing the rabbit is disappointing.

The second duel, I really didn’t like it. It seems forced, served only to show how proficient they have become with the Dark Arts and they went too far. I can understand competitive people, and in the heat of the moment, I can accept that they are ready to do anything to win, but once they cool down, I would expect some kind of introspection unless they are really screwed morally.

Of course, as teenagers, they may feel invincible, allowing them to ignore the fact that they nearly died. Still, they are morally screwed to have gone as far as they did. If you wanted to show that they feel invincible and where there moral compass is you did a marvellous job. I can already picture a sick and successful relationship as loving opponent between them.

On the Tournament, I don’t really see Harry’s problem. All he has to do is ask Krum to put his name in the Cup instead of his own. Considering that Krum don’t went to compete and the confudus charm was used to make the Cup believe that four school where participating in the tournament, Harry should not have any problem entering his name.

 

I'm sorta with you there Tylendel at the start. I partially agree about the duel part too. Also, Harry doesn't know the judge is a cup.

 

It isn't just due to social pressure. Did you miss that scene where he talked about finding it fascinating? How about the one where he talked about how it integrated Charms and Transfiguration? Then there is the whole implanted memory on top of these two things. Combine this with social pressure, Harry's desire to be the best, and the usefulness of the subject and you have a verity of reasons for Harry to want to learn.

I think you completely missed the point of the second duel. The only reason it happened is because Harry didn't bother to use Dark Arts in the first duel. He put her on the defensive from the start and relied solely on Charms (and maybe Transfiguration if that was conjured fire) to completely outclass her. Your assertion that the Dark Arts are the only spells worth using in a duel in this universe is rendered completely invalid by the first duel. If anything, it shows that Charms and Transfiguration can be more useful.

The second duel doesn't feel forced at all. It was meant to be a way for his professor and the reader to see how far he has come in learning the Dark Arts. He has at the very least caught up to Calypso as far as dueling using the Dark Arts is concerned. Now, the violence used in this duel is not that bad. You are thinking like a muggle. In this universe, wizards can regrow bones in a day, organs in two days, etc. It wasn't nearly as dangerous as you believe especially with a professor and a 7th year watching them. They wouldn't be stupid enough to duel like this if it were just the two of them practicing.

As for him not caring if he killed a rabbit, it is a freaking rabbit! It wasn't his pet bunny, Mr. Fluffy. It was a wild rabbit that he captured and killed. I've been hunting, fishing, and killing those annoying birds in my front yard since I was 5 years old. I've never once been upset over it. When I had to put down my dog because it had bitten someone that was a different story. Who is going to get upset over some random animal?

 

More likely that it was Charms. The Aguamenti spell is a Charm, and that uses similar mechanics.

 

Easiest workaround for the age line is to get Krum to enter Harry's name. Win-win for the both of them. I'd need to read back, but didn't Krum want to enter when it was first announced? He could have had a change of heart over a summer, I guess.