Title: Avada Kedavra
Author: Senyor Fier Mensheir
Rating: T
Genre: Supernatural
DLP Category: Dark Arts/Independent
Pairing: None
Status: Complete
Summary: Having been deprived of his basic rights, as well as his rights as a child, Harry Potter decides to deprive others of such rights as well, most especially the right to live and exist. DarkHarry. Yr 1 of Dark Curses Series
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5827366/1/Avada_Kedavra

I've already finished this story, and the rest of the Dark Curses series, and find it to be an intriguing tale all alone. It fits the author's style of writing, although there are a few areas where I can see need for improvement. That being said, Senyor Fier Mensheir's stories all tend to be alike in style of writing- and they are usually well written.

I found Avada Kedavra to be a more darker tale of the "Dark Harry" genre, dips into the author's own imagination, while bringing up intriguing styles of magic and ideals. That being said, I give it a somewhere between 3.8-4.5 out of 5, depending upon certain areas throughout the story getting different ratings for how well thought out or written they were.

 

The review I left on FF.Net:

1/5

Hoping for a lulzy reply.

 

From the first chapter:

Why would you want to pollute DLP with disgusting waste like this? It's not even worth the bother to dissect it. :facepalm


0/5 for this shitfic and a loud GTFO! for you.

 

Basically what Taure said. At first a bad case of "tell, not show" with the abuse, then one memory which seems to explain all(or at least to much) about magic to Harry and thats where I wanted to hit the red X.

But then I saw a particular interesting scene, where a Police officer wants to strangle Harry because he doesn't care that his relatives are dead.

A Police officer... WTF.

1/5

 

It seems like a nine-year old is writing it. Seriously.

The police officer bit is wtf... as Harry not caring his relatives are dead could be his way of coping through it - not that it is - but the police officer must know about the whole disbelief/denial/not caring ways of dealing with things.

0/5.

 

Pretty sure I read the first chapter of this when I first started reading fanfiction. I couldn't get past the first chapter then and my standards are just a bit higher now.

1/5.

 

This is why it should be required to have at least 25 post before reccing fics.

 

I suspect it's someone for whom English isn't their first language. It's not an excuse, granted, but a possible explanation. The author's chronic inability to use commas along with a pathological fear of active construction make it incredibly dull writing that is a chore to read.

1/5. I left a review to try to help the author, though it doesn't seem to appear on the site. Odd.

 

What is this, I don't even...

That first chapter...

getout/5

 

While what you say might account for the grammatical errors and poor sentence construction, his plot line and character development[which should not be affected by language barriers] are classic symptoms of the first-time writer.

1/5 for me.

 

Was this a joke? because as noobish a writer as I am even I can see how bad it is.

1/5

 

+ammo to posts>X before for-review threading.

 

I'm usually wary of stories that have 'part xx of the xxx series/saga/bullshitting', in their title/summary.

Again, the above is a good reason why.

 

Jesus baby-nigger-motherfuckin' Christ.

I read this a long time ago.

This one is actually better than the sequels.

1/5

 

That's a pretty disrespectful way to refer to the Jesus
.
.
.
Mind if I use it? :awesome

 

Go for it.

I would use it meself, but my baby-Jesus-loving brotherly friends would be offended if it ever gets back to them. They taught ebonics, you see...