I thought this would be better suited as a game of sorts, but the mods may move it to General Discussion if they feel like it.

Also, there's no need to answer: just list some of the most random thoughts regarding the HP canon. I'll start...

- If two cat animagi (or a cat and a cat animagus) have sex as cats, what species will the baby be?

- Would a French-speaking parselmouth understand an English parselmouth ?

- If a wizard jumped out of a plane, could s/he apparate to the ground so as not to gain more momentum?

- Where do house elves learn how to cook?

- Why didn't Voldemort hatch his own basilisk?

- Did Ron have a Chest Monster, too? Do all teenage wizards have a Chest Monster instead of a boner?

- Did Tonks ever sprout a dick?

- Did Dumbledore hire Gilderoy because of his golden locks - like Gellert?

- Do wizards have passport documents ?

- Did Fleur give birth to a girl - or an egg?

- What would happen if Fawkes slept with Hedwig ?

- If Hagrid has a talent for growing extra-large plants, could he supplement his income with giant marijuana plants?

- Who put the giant squid in the lake? Did that person not like fried calamari ?

- Are leperchauns allowed bank accounts at Gringotts ?

- How did Hagrid's dad have sex with Fridwulfa the Giantess? Why?

 

...

Fuck you and the bunny you rode in on.

 

Rookwood's labtime

Experiments in Potter-esque magic I'd like to see performed:
Transfigure a child of 10 years age into a rock. Wait thirty years. 'Untransfigure' the rock back into the child.
1. Is the child's lifespan shortened?
2. Does the child remember being a rock?
3. Did the child dream?
Repeat the previous experiment by Vanishing the child. Compare the results.

Transfigure a rock into a loaf of bread. Feed it to four beings- a muggle, a wizard, a dog, and a kneazle. Once the bread has been consumed, wait 72 hours (keep them isolated and contol what else is fed to them and what waste is produced). On each being, attempt to 'untransfigure' the bread into rock.
1. Are all four beings affected the same? Did they become sick, before or after the 'untransfiguration' attempt?
2. If attempting to 'Untransfigure' the being's waste, did it result in gravel?
Repeat the previous experiment using Basilisk venom transfigured into wine. Compare the results.

Vanish a wizard's only (or last remaining) Horcrux. Slay the wizard. (It may be useful to provide an Inferus for the lingering soul to use as a vehicle).
1. Was the wizard killed and his spirit dispersed? If not, did it remain nearby? Was it able to control the Inferus?
2. If you Un-Vanish the horcrux, does the wizard return?

Duplicate a cursed book (you may wish to use transfiguration, conjuration and charms in three separate versions of this experiment. Record the results independently.)
1. Is the duplicate also cursed?
2. Is the content of the book intact in the duplicate?
Repeat the experiment with a book of known content as the end product; using another book for transfiguration source; using another cursed book for transfiguration source; using a wizard for the transfiguration source; using a horcrux for transfiguration source.

Transfigure a small, adult mammal from male to female.
1. Does it behave the same as before?
2. Can it be impregnated?
Repeat the experiment with progressively more complex creatures. Take note of when the consciousness of the target evidences behavioral adjustment problems. Repeat using younger versions of the mammal- take note if and when behavioral problems do not appear due to the gender shift.

 

I am so stealing that characterisation of Rookwood.

 

If so change it back into a male, record results.:awesome

 

"This isn't about your sick and twisted fantasies, Severus... they're about mine."

 

Anyone not surprise that Wordhammer is the one asking this?

Transfigure a small, adult mammal from male to female.
2. Can it be impregnated?

Of course, he also has the answer to "- Did Tonks ever sprout a dick?" as well.

 

"Your questions lacks imagination. 'From where? How many could be simultaneously controlled? Were they equally sensitive? How did the partner(s) respond?' If you wish to advance our understanding of magic, you must pose difficult questions."

 

Because, clearly, the process requires a delicate temperature control that he was never quite able to master.



Edit: Cookie to Calz for coming up with a reason.

 

Well, maybe Tom never managed to hatch his own basilisk, but I'm sure that in the end he learned how to make killer fried eggs.

 

We know that wizard/veela, wizard/giant, and wizard/goblins hybrids exist.

Are these all separate species?

Are Veela like wizards, just humans with special talents?

Are human/giant hybrids sterile?

 

I love this thread. Did you draw that, Palindrome? :awesome

 

Spoiler

This was the source of no less than twelve over-lunchtime discussions with my classmates. The general consensus was that it involved a ladder, an overpowered engorgio charm, and a length of rope tied between the father and an object firmly affixed to the ground. In the case of Madame Maxime, whom we assumed had the opposite parentage--a human mother and giant father--it involved a rather messy bukkake incident. The question of why was never explored, as attempting to enter the mindset of someone with a fetish of this sort was seen as detrimental to one's sanity.

 

If Veela allure originates from their hair, does their pubic hair have similar properties?

Does Hagrid take after his dad's or after his mother's genes down there?
How does Maxim fare in that aspect?

Did Albus ever nail Gellert after he defeated him and locked him in Nurmengard?

Did Hagrid ever bang Fluffy?

Lolwut enough?

 

I don't think you need to go to why to decide it's detrimental.

I'm positive you and your classmates have quite a few screws loose up there.

Seriously, really 12 times... you guys must have been crunk'ed and stoned



LOLWUT:

The size of your wand, that's proportional to other body parts, I assume?

Marauders and animal sex(there's something there)

So does Mad-eye sport an everlasting boner?

 

If you transfigure an organism that replicates through binary fission and leave it with the non-transfigured nutrients, can you un-transfigure the offspring at each generation? Replicate until a no is recorded.

Can I conjure antimatter?

If I cast a replication charm at a living being, is there any way to tell which one is the original without casting a finite?

Can you get a centaur/human hybrid?

How many pieces can we cut off of Alastor Moody and have him still function as well as he would without the amputations?

Can I vanish someone's internal organs?

If I'm polyjuiced, will the baby be mine, or the 'donater's'?
If I take a large dose of polyjuice, batch A, and then a small dose of batch B, when I stop being B, will I return to A, or to myself?
If I take polyjuice, then injure myself, do I retain the injury?

If I transfigure a rock into a 10 year old human, will it pass for human? Repeat, deaging the target until yes. Un-transfigure the rock, leave for a while, re-transfigure back into human form. What happens? Can I give polyjuice to the transfigure human?

 

Does Louis, having Veela blood, attract guys?

Do gay guys fall for Veela charms? What about lesbians?

 

My headcanon has it that Hagrid's father was hiking in the mountains and stopped to rest in a peculiar kind of cave, and things all went downhill from there.

Indeed I did. Hence why it's terribad and messy and all of that. I draw my avatar/sig combos too occasionally.

 

Transfiguration questions...

In the course of transfiguration, can you impart a new amount of thermal energy into the final form? e.g., can something at room temperature be transfigured into superheated steam?

Can matter in a gaseous state be transfigured into matter in a liquid or solid state? Can you transfigure a random patch of air into a mixture of air and tiny, suspended water droplets (i.e. fog)?

Given an above average affinity for transfiguration, how familiar must a wizard be with a substance in order to transfigure something into it? E.g., if you set a pureblood wizard a challenge to transfigure something into aerogel or gasoline (something they shouldn't know much about), what must they do in order to gain the necessary understanding to actually make the stuff? Handle it? Study its properties? etc.

Edit: Of course, I think I'm missing the point of the thread - my questions are more "yawn, snooze" than lolwut...