Yeah The Mistake wasn't bad. Though the reconciliation with Snape was a little too emotional for my tastes. There is a sequel, but I don't have much hope for it since the author spent nine months writing 40k words for the story.

 

19 Years Later.

 

Yes, but I meant for this story :facepalm

 

Harry marries Ginny?

 

Finally finished what has been written so far. My fears were justified in the Teen chapters. Virtually a word for word rehash (Definition: See Plagiarism) of the source material with very minor changes.

Dumbledore seems to be suffering from multiple personality disorder. One moment he's the kindly headmaster from first year and the next he's whipping out his wand to curse (we assume) Harry and Hermione, only Harry blasts him backward with his OMGZAWESOMEWANDLESSMAGIC!Skills. :facepalm

After first year was over I had hopes that it would deviate from canon, and I wasn't disappointed. It deviated straight into cliche-land with

Lord Harry James Potter!

More-money-than-God!Harry

Multiple properties, etc. (including the Potter ancestral home in the Highlands which wouldn't have been a good place to hide for the parents because it was too well known, but nobody could get there unless they were allowed. I'm still trying to make sense of that reasoning process.)

First Birthday party extravaganza (even the teachers came)

All the (12 y.o.) girls in bikinis!

Portkeys everyone and their brother get their Portkeys


The only thing that makes this story readable, IMO, is Hermione. She's still not perfect or particularly Mary-Sue as of yet. The changes planned for the next few chapters do look interesting so I'm still keeping the score 2.5/5 and guilty pleasure reading.

Technically, it's pretty darn good. And Hermione's characterization feels equally as good even with her screaming rant at Dumbledore at the end of the first year.

 

You were warned.

 

How does warning about something automatically absolve a story of being shit? It's still a canon retread, and therefore worthless and indistinguishable from 30,000 stories (that number could very well be literal, canon retreads are THAT common)

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4803634/1/Utterly_Adorable

This story features anal rape and Harry giving birth from his asshole.

Just because I warned you does NOT make it acceptable.

 

...What? He...anal birthed?

 

I'm still reading it for the new parts and Hermione's character portrayal. Like I said... guilty pleasure and nothing more. I wouldn't dream of reccing it for Review. Which is pretty much why this thread was created.

In contemporary terms, it's called taking a crap, or perhaps a shit-baby which is a large fetish for the mpreg crowd. I refuse to read a mpreg story to find out exactly how a male gives birth. One would assume by Cesarian or some freaky magical delivery method where Poppy gives the male a temporary... gah... I can't even think about it without gagging.

 

Up to your high and mighty descend on this thread no one tried to "absolve" the story from being "shit". I wonder where you got the impression I was doing so. In fact, everyone who looked at the story and left a comment here had something positive to say about it, ranging from "guilty pleasure" to "technically excellent".

You can't be serious.:facepalm

1) I would like to know how you define "worthless". If I'm actually interested to read a rehash of HP canon from another characters perspective (and the story delivers just that) how could that be "worthless" for me?

2) This story is well written in the technical sense. That distinguishes it from at least 90% of the other stuff on ff.net.

3) I challenge you to find even a handfull of other 190k+ fics that are not only technically sound, but also written with Hermione as first person narrator.

If I warn you that a certain story has elements you don't like and you go and read it anyway you have no reason to complain about it to me. That's all I implied in my rather good natured reaction to Heather_Sinclairs rant about the cliche heavy chapters following the PS part of the story.

EDIT:

Exactly. And that's the reason why Andros comments above pissed me off. No one says that this story is the general DLP fare, no one here claims it should be in the library, no one hinted that it might be a masterpiece. So why does he feel the need to come into the thread just to tell me off for a small joke?

 

I just finished reading it as well (Grow up Granger). Had the same opinion as Heather when she posted her opinion at chapter 6, however, dislike it a tad more than she does now. Dumbledore's multiple personality disorder ruined it more than anything else for me. Hermione's rant at the end of the first book put the first nail in the coffin, then I skipped a few chapters ahead to see if there was anything interesting, and all I found was Lord Potter doing something to Dumbledore.

Was reasonable up until he end of last year, as much of a canon rehash it was. 2/5. Barely readable from me.

 

The oversaturated Harmonian feel to the story made me stop reading after just two chapters.

Author feels like a die hard rabid Harmonian, and though my personal views are irrelevant, the sickly-sweetness of the pro-Harry/Hermione interaction makes me want to vomit.

I would say 'Holy Shit', but I don't think that'd be an appropriate expression.

 

With the medical advances we see in canon, I am surprised witches have to go through any female biological issues at all. I am an unattached childless male and if I wrote a speculative fiction story set in a world in which medical technology as good as wizarding healing was commonly available and has been for some time (centuries, apparently), women would not have periods, the hymen would be removed painlessly with a spell, males and females would be 100% sterile on demand and if people chose to gestate a fetus literally in utero (this is uncomfortable at best and medically dangerous at worst) at least the birth itself would be performed using a switching charm to avoid all the pain and danger to mother and child (you aren't going to argue that pureblood witches routinely die of breech births, are you?).

With the technology they appear to have, they should be able to attach the placenta to something that provides all the attendant logistical support of oxygen, nutrients, waste disposal and a mature immune system, be it a uterus-like organ in someone's body or an enchanted vessel with potions, not unlike a pensieve.

EDIT, replies inlined because I don't wish to derail the thread.

@Heather_Sinclair: By "technology" I of course meant "knowledge of how to directly manipulate the physical world", which in the fantasy genre is called "magic" chiefly because there is no pretense of a scientific explanation of how it works (not even a really bad one like in Star Trek).

@Portus: I thought the consensus on the untreated injuries we see in canon is that healing can't fix what has been broken using Dark Magic. All manner of Quidditch injuries appear to be fixable by an overnight stay (including those that would be fatal or crippling to anyone who did not have access to a healer with a stock of potions), and girls got into the infirmary for failing to spell away their acne because they weren't good enough at magic, not because it's impossible.

@Sesc: That's interesting. Fanon assumes they do, and I don't remember any indication otherwise. Personally I would be very much surprised if JKR thought about it at all. But maybe you're right and our ignorance is just another sad result of the limited POV provided by the flawed protagonist.

@Churchey: First, the umbilical cord stays whole and connected for the entire birth. It is cut after the baby is out. If the baby was pulled or switched out "unnaturally", you would deal with the umbilical cord in exactly the same way. Second, the baby would get the mother's and father's magical blood from its own bone marrow, of course. Do you think performing a Caesarean would be sacrilege to purebloods? Even if the mother was fatally injured by magic? What's the difference between a C-section and the magical version without the scalpel, anesthetic and associated risk? And third, you'd obviously start with mice, not a pureblood heiress.

@thebrute7: Yes, magical healing only exists so JKR could get the protagonists dramatically injured any number of times with a "revert to last known good configuration" in between. It is possible that a healer can cure cancer the same way the protagonist transfigures complex living organisms without any understanding of physics, biochemistry, anatomy, etc. But since they can do that, I say they really should be able to do the other things, as long as they can imagine them and wish them hard enough...

Wizarding Britain, in all aspects, does not look like it should if it had the alternate physics and alternate history it has but as a mirror universe of our own, with everything exactly the same only quirky. It fails at logic exactly the same way as Alice's Wonderland, but it superficially resembles the real world (so much so that it kinda suggests it includes a copy of the entire real world) in such a way that invites stupid people like me to try to reason about it. Of course it's foolish to try, but I repeat that mistake again and again.

 

You're under the impression that mpreg fan girls actually think about this or possess the intellect to actually care about writing an intelligent story. They don't. They want to see men suffer all the annoyances and pain of birthing a child, including squeezing a 6-9 pound baby through a hole that doesn't see that kind of action on a regular basis... unless Harry's banging Hagrid or something. (My brain just went to a very bad place. Someone pass the bleach)

That's where the whole argument falls apart. Wizards and Witches technology is still stuck in the Victorian era. Do you mean Magical advancements?

If so, see above response.

 

That Which Holds The Image is a HP/Doctor Who crossover with a quite tense atmosphere. It starts at the beginning of PoA and is marked as Adventure/Horror and the characters of the books are quite well matched. The available 4 chapters are quite promising.

 

Not to shit on you, but the 190k+ part is pretty disingenuous. I mean, how many total stories exist that are 190k+ and from Hermione's POV? I'd wager not many, and let's be honest that anything from that POV is not going to be much different than canon unless it's definitely AU. For fuck's sake, there wasn't a whole lot of canon that didn't include Hermione, Ron, or both of them right alongside Harry, so what more can you see/hear/get from that kind of story?

If we're talking canon-rehash from Neville's, Luna's, or Snape's POV, that would be different, seeing how those characters are not in Every. Fucking. Scene of canon. Hell, I've read a couple of worthwhile CoS recountings from Ginny's POV, and that's refreshing, though I very much doubt I'd have the stomach for rehashing all the books from her perspective.

Anyway, the word count shouldn't be a deciding factor.

Fair enough.

And that is the problem with any story you see posted on Portkey or SIYE: the outcome is a foregone conclusion. Well, with the exception of fics like Hallows and Pathos by Pers, but those are the (very) few and (very) far between exceptions that prove the rule. I mean, the rules at places like SIYE state that your story must be H/G, R/Hr, etc., and while Portkey allows pretty much anything as long as the main pairing is either HHr, D/G, or James/Lily, the mods there wouldn't even approve Pers as an author.

The point is that if you know from the website what the story's pairing will be and that it's overwhelmingly likely to be a happily-ever-after fluff piece, what's the use in reading it? If you know the conflict will be resolved and "our heroes" will make it through pretty much unscathed, then there really *is* no conflict, and I'd rather spend my time with an actual book I haven't read before, or at least a story (read: fanfic) where I have a reasonable chance to be surprised by some aspect or another.

Jesus, it's like the "library" on the submarine I was stationed on. It consisted of a couple Mario Puzzo novels and a dozen or so Mack Bolan books. The Mack Bolan's were the same predictable, zero-depth story, with only the names of the villains changed; if you could force yourself to read one, you'd already read them all.

That's why Moody got a new eye, leg, and missing part of his nose, amirite? That's why no one wears glasses or has bad teeth, and everyone is beautiful and thin, especially that scrumptious Gaunt clan. Tom the bartender isn't hunched over, Snape's hygiene is unimpeachable, George's ear was healed lickety-split, and none of the girls at Hogwarts ever got fed up enough to start trying to curse away their acne.

Gotcha.

Or, you know, maybe that whole menstrul/childbirth stuff is Dark Magic to begin with, and bitches just gotta deal with it.

Dunno about you, but that's my vote. :awesome

 

And you didn't go mad and try to detonate a torpedo on-board?

Will of iron, man - will of fucking iron.

 

True story: The Navy base where I received a big part of my training was in Orlando at the time, and one of the other schools there was a torpedoman's A-school, where they taught those guys how to work on the Mark-48 torpedoes (and probably other models too).

About the time I left there, news started getting around about an evacuation of the school's main building, and it turned out that one of the training torpedoes - a supposedly "dummy" one - was in actuality a working, live, still-loaded-with-explosives model, and had been for a number of years before anyone realized.

They'd been working on this thing - having fresh-off-the-bus newbs working on it with hammers, screwdrivers, whatever - for years and it was one misstep away from obliterating the whole damn building.

It still makes my bowels weak to think I walked by that building day after day for a few weeks between training stints, and could've been killed along with dozens of bystanders if someone had made just the right (wrong) move.

 

All this implies they have a scientific understanding of the birthing process. In what seems to be paternal society, who would go through the time and effort of finding ways to switch a baby out of a mother to provide comfort? What do you switch out with the baby? What about the umbilical cord?
Most likely, any attempts at doing this resulted in a dead fetus followed by an end to any testing. Switching spell! Dead fetus+half a cord+parts of a placenta+dying mother from internal bleeding/leakage.

Plus why on earth would they switch a baby out of the mother, when blood is so highly valued? I would think that taking the baby from its magical mother before birth would be considered a sacrilege at the least. How can a baby gain the magical blood of its mother if you put it into some artificial contraption/surrogate mother?