I enjoyed this chapter, but I'm hating the supporting characters (Daphne, Tracey, and Blaise) more and more.

 

I liked Blaise in this chapter.

 

It's the opposite for me. Yes, they aren't relevant to the plot (yet), but they really help in diversifying Harry's character. Those three basically force him to adhere to a normal school life and have social interactions. He's getting attached and his single-mindedness consequently abates.

Without them grounding him Harry would be concerned about his magic, Bella and the tournament. Sure, that's enough to sustain a story by itself but this way it fortunately isn't nearly as simplistic as that. Makes for a richer experience in my opinion.

 

That battle with the dragon was EPIC!


First time I saw Harry killing the dragon and in such a brutal way.
Harry's fevered, anticipatory mood before and during the fight was depicted very grim and realistic.
The fight itself well balanced, the dragon suitably dangerous and it showed just what a feat that victory was, very good.

The scene with Krum and Hermoine was simply hilarious, this Harry is such a bastard.

I liked that for once his Black inheritance didn't give Harry an instant Wizengamot seat and huge political cloud.
He has money, but must work for political power - and he didn't exactly make any friends with his spellchoice.
It will be difficult for Harry to meddle in the ministry like he planned to do.

And I agree with Trig; while the three still annoy me, the interaction with them gives Harry more depth and normal school life contrasts well with his mindset and thoughts. The story wins complexity and depth with this.


All in all I very much enjoyed the whole chapter.

And I wonder what repercussions Harry is going to face from his corrupted blood and the chimera blood, more weird effects on his magic?

 

^ This. Especially the dragon.

I'm hoping we get a curveball with this magic thing. Some sort of Holly Evans hook.

 

I really like the interactions between Harry, Daphne, Blaise, and especially Tracy. I'm also hoping for some sort of friendly animosity between Harry and Hermione since she didn't seem too pissed this chapter, and he hooked her up with Krum (for a funny reward). Neville fainting was pretty hilarious. Harry demanding the Horntail and taking it from Neville was pretty awesome too.

 

You explore the theme of foreign invasion quite well as shown when harry compares himself to Neville in emotive mindset rather than krum or fleur, probably also his “equals” in the competition. Although aiming to win he doesn’t care about others or interested in them. He cant read them, it will be his undoing if they are powerful wizards and witches in their own right. Harry was a foreigner in Azkaban, young and innocent in the sense of extenuating circumstances ie mgugles abusers, he is a foreigner to Hogwarts returning from prison behind his education and he is a foreigner in the greater community, his dark arts skill and penchant to display it marking him out as a dark wizard, a great wizard, and most importantly a famous wizard. His disenchantment with society leaves him apathetic to the plight of others. I think this is his fatal flaw, his Achilles’ heel in this tragedy -goatsong- you’re writing.

you might consider a shift toward hemingway and away from tolkien in literary style, you're liberal with adjectives. makes your sentences dense, more complicated than it needs to be. you skillfully counter this with a fragmentary prose style, reminding me of joe's fanfic (something about harry being the epitome of a hero). i predict by the end of it harry will be singled out made into a scapegoat as a sacrifical lamb for the good of the community... harry vs society is the main conflict in this story.

 

I'm actually only annoyed by Daphne. The other two are alright.

New chapter was extremely entertaining. Dragon fight was awesome.

 

@Hexokinase: I don't really see how the main conflict in this story is Harry vs Society. Sure, most people in wizard society think that Harry is a psycho Dark Wizard that should have stayed locked up, but Harry generally doesn't seem to give a shit about what society thinks of him, except to prove to everyone that he's powerful. To me, it seems that the main conflict at the moment is Harry's struggle for power and freedom, so I would think that it's more a Harry vs Dumbledore thing.

As for Harry being a scapegoat, I can see that happening especially if Voldemort is defeated somehow and everyone fears that Harry would become another Voldemort or worse.

 

the good thing about this story is anon58 seems to use a healthy ratio of tell and show, leaving a lot to us to interpret and figure out. there are probably many aspects to think about in terms of conflict from a multi-genre perspective: romance (tonks is definately harry's romantic longing), mystery (bellatrix escape from azkaban how?), horror (killing a dragon in the most vicious way possible, and that mutagenic cliffhanger was sensational), but this story seems to lack a bit i just can't put my figure on what.... it seems as if there is probably too much drama.

 

Hexokinase your post made me irrationally angry.

 

Hexo I don't think you need to be writing expository paragraphs detailing a critical analysis of the work.

Also, if you spell definitely with an a, then you are definitely an a-hole.

 

^refer to your signature

 

This may sound odd, but my favorite part was the portrayal of the other champions. It seems in all the other fics the champions are all friends, or maybe the only rivalry exists when Fleur calls Harry a "little boy", but then takes it back when Harry rescues her sister.


I really liked the interactions between them, especially Victor and Harry and I hope that they don't become friends and remain the rivals that they are now.


I really liked the Fleur comments as well.

 

What are your predictions regarding task 2? I forecast a certain lake turning into vapour.

 

Harry's magic seems to be of a icy nature. I'd think he'd evaporate the lake with his friend in it.

Him slaughtering mermaids might be entertaining.

 

...he has an icy nature, so he'll evaporate the lake? What?

If anything, he'd probably freeze it. Though just how, where and why remain to be seen.

 

My suspicion is Rowling used air as the element for the first task (dragons fly don't they?), water as the element for the second task, and land (the maze is on land, no other challenge save the first one is but the first one is clearly to do with flight as Harry flies and dragon flies, its all about flying!) as the third task. There is no need for author to keep to the same pattern. I suspect a branch off because Bagman and people in charge of tourney might decide a new challenge than one previously planned. Crouch could put pressure - he is certainly ticked off at Harry's brazen use of dark arts.

So yeah, whole different challenge perhaps...? I wonder if instead of water, another element might do...?

I hope author reads this.

 

I meant that I don't think he'd evaporate the lake. I mean if it goes from A to 4 assume it's a typo.

Dragons also breath fire.

 

The Second Task's gonna have Harry massacring the entire Mermen village just to see if he beat them on their home turf. The hostage will drown, forgotten.