I dunno, I'd be pretty pissed if I was in love with someone named Albus too.

Also:

Pyscopath Rose Weasley killing off the "Next Generation" would be so therapeutic after all the shit on FF.net about them. Needs to be written.

 

About that Rantypants Brewery Swot with the Nose: » by Nightfall Rising reviews
Some people are slythe enough to sort Gryff, and some zomg aren't. Ch 12: Will the Half-Blood Prince discover holistical magical theory, or will Madam Pince throw the tome-defiling little hooligan out on his scruffy arse first? Betting opens in 5— 4— 3—
Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 11,981 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-23-12 - Published: 12-31-11 - Severus S.

uhm...

 

lol Both of those sound absolutely god awful.

 

76. Confessions of a Teenage Death Eater » by whoneedsusernames reviews
Teen diaries are full of angst- this one is no different. After all, adolescence sucks. Especially when you find out your father is Sirius Black. Especially when you're in the middle of a war. Especially when you're an accidental death eater. HP/OC/BZ R&R
Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 106,102 - Reviews: 44 - Updated: 1-25-12 - Published: 12-20-11 - OC & Harry P.

I think I hate the term especially used in summaries almost as much as "What If...?"

Almost.

 

One accidentally becomes a Death Eater in the same way that a married man might accidentally trip and fall onto a woman in just such a way as their clothing spontaneously flies off and his dick slips into her.

 

I clicked on it because it sounded pretty intriguing actually. (And because King Who Lived is actually pretty damn good, so I thought maybe it could pull this off like KWL had.)

Oh god was I wrong.

I'm gonna go cry now.

 

That's not really a worst summary is it? I mean, the summary is bad but it's not horrible. I think you just have problem with the actual story, so it should be in awesomely bad or something.

 

The Emo Boy Who Lived by VEX XANDER
Harry Potter The Emo Boy Who Lived. This story is about how harry is after the events of OoTP, How he's been dealing with sirius loss. Can tonks Cheer him up while loking over him while in grimmauld. Warning contains: Self harm Susicide thoughts,language.
Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 771 - Published: 1-30-12 - Harry P. & N. Tonks

I will just leave this here.

 

I wonder if anyone has written a good Killer!Calvin for Calvin and Hobbes.

 

Lol, King Who Lived by cap red is unrepentantly shit. I gave the author like five easy-ass suggestions to make it a better story. He thanked me and didn't do anything. If that's your idea of a good fic, thank you very much for staying out of the For Review section.

A good writer could easily make something out of the plotline, but these two aren't the ones to do it.

 

By 'good' I meant before I read a bunch of unrepentant shit after the premise.

"SEER LUNA"

"LUCIUS IS A GOOD GUY"

"I'M AN INSUFFERABLE PREACHING COCKMONGLER"

And that's where I stopped reading.

 

Hermione's Rebel » by blueangel994
If you've ever read one of those ff's where Hermione goes wacko and decides to go out w Malfoy and hates Harry and Ron and her true destiny is to be in Slytherin...well...here's another one.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,439 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 3-10-06 - Published: 3-6-06 - Hermione G. & Draco M.

 

I really don't understand why I keep coming to this thread. It makes me face palm so hard I have a red hand print on my face.

 

The Champion Journey » by reaverulez Hell is bound,Heaven is barren,and Eden is left with no one to tend him. To help all tree a child champion is born to live three lives,and pass through three lives,This is his story,SLASH Harry/Male Harem,pretty much Everyone bashing. Champion!HarryHarry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Size: 3/8,089 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 14/11/2011 - Updated: 2 days ago - Harry P.

I need brain bleach.

 

While looking for some decent Harry/Tracey, I found these. Worst.

I didn't even look at the story, but yeah. Indicator of extreme fail.

Just... why?

 

Harry and the Angry Inch by hamster-dung
Its not easy being a transexual rockstar. Especially when your ex boyfriend stole all your songs. Join "Haily" in her attempt to gain rights to her music, and find acceptance in the world.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,732 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-18-04 - Harry P. & Draco M.

though maybe I just hate the summary because the story is crap. I mean, transexual rockstar? What?

 

Modern incest by Erotic Dreams

VERY AU. Incest deal with it. Reviews or no more stories.

Rated: M English Humor/Romance Chapters: 1 Words: 3702 Reviews: 6 Updated: 2012-01-04 Published: 2012-01-04 Naruto U. & Naruko U. Complete

 

'Harmony' gives off warning bells, too; what are the odds that it becomes a threesome with Harry, Tracey, and Hermione? :facepalm

 

As Long As You're Mine by Kunoichi Uchiha Sakura

When Sasuke left he gave Sakura one last gift Their child 9 years later he's back but it's two late She's found someone who's the greatest father and soon to be husband What's Sasuke to do NaruSaku

Edit:

Mechanical Love by Nicole The Dragon Rider

Hinata is disowned and kicked out by her father. She manages to become a mechanic. Naruto is cheated on by his girlfriend and car brakes down. Watch how they deal with their problems and manage their love lifes.

 

This sounded okay until SLASH. Except for the "To help all tree", of course