Hey all. May I introduce a new topic of insanity along the lines of Worst Summaries and Horrible fics? Insane Fic Searches. A lot of boards have a sections for people looking for fics and, lately, I've been seeing requests where A) I can't believe the fic was actually written and B)that people are actually *looking* for them. Here are some examples:

 

The third one... What the fuck is this shit... I mean flashlight??:fire:facepalm:facepalm

 

UGH..MY EYES, IT BURNS!!!

 

This actually concerns me more...

It's just something about how cavalierly the poster mentions Remus is pregnant that makes it even more horrible.

Also the image of Ginny standing guard in that flashlight situation, very strange.

 

I think I may have encountered the first one, though I don't remember the killing spree thing.

 

I think the first one is

Harry Potter and the Wand of Uru After slipping diagonally through time and space to a familiar time in an unfamiliar world, Harry finds himself fighting to save a future that's not quite what he remembers.
Harry Potter > Non-BtVS/AtS Stories > Theme: Action • JoeHundredaire • FR18 • Chapters [11] • Words [79,643] • Recs [10] • Reviews [136] • Hits [21,703] • Published [19 Dec 11] • Updated [25 Jan 12] • Completed [No]

I also don't remember the killing spree, though I read it while I was drunk (the spree may be a more recent development too).

 

I actually tuned out on that third one simply when they called Snape "Severus."

I have yet to meet someone who calls him by his first name who isn't a Snapefen.

 

I found this search and the second request absolutely horrified me( the first seems the usual crap that fangirls enjoy):

 

LOLwat. :facepalm

 

^ This, basically.

WTF is this shit? Do we think that, even if this were something those wacky wizards decided to invent (sure, sure, the "this girl is gonna die but we can save her unborn baby if we transfer it to this other girl!" kind of thing), do we really think that it would work from a girl to a guy? All we'd need would be Danny DeVito and BAM! wizarding version of Junior.

 

Well, chalk it up to new and inventive (read: Cruel and Unusual) uses for Switching spells, right?

 

A least we don't have dudes giving anal birth. I've yet to see that.

 

Heh, shit-babies.

 

Back with some new ones!

 

Wow...

You know, even if I'm watching TV alone in my room, I still sometimes have to mute the thing when someone is doing/saying something embarrassing.

It's just how I am.

And, if I were present when/where that... stuff was being requested, I would feel the shame that the person asking should feel.

Should feel. :fire

 

I hear ya. Not only should the person requesting this shit be ashamed but the person who actually WROTE it should be dropped on a remote island somewhere with a tribe of very hostile baboons.

 

I got scarred for life by a parody (at least I hope it was a parody) once a couple years back. A Weasley twin having a C-section, as the result of a prank, it was a puppy; immediately named, Padfoot. :facepalm

 

I remember that one, that's one of the few things you don't forget reading.
Anyway, I found this earlier: