We did establish this was not at all the case.

 

Eh, that's my mistake, then. Didn't read through the thread outside of the actual reviews.

My score still stands, though.

 

Well yeah, I never stated that this was anything more than Dudley discovering more about Harry during his funeral. I didn't push any buttons or try to make it challenging, it is what it is. Yes, it's safe. Yes, it may not mean much in the grand scheme. Sometimes the ultimate goal is lacking in grandiosity. So? I wanted to appeal to a wide audience, and it's definitely becoming clearer that this isn't suited for the C2.

There were no "presuppositions" on my part about this getting accepted - like I said, simply a shot. I was browsing the communities and was impressed at the number of subscribers to this particular one, so who wouldn't try? And the title was anything but useless, at least in my opinion; representative of the possible "fresh start" that Dudley may get in his life. The burning in lava feeling Harry experiences in the first section is meant to be symbolic of the concept, but I guess that could be a stretch.

I take one of the past posters who recommended not replying to each review for fear of causing arguments, but I have no intention of doing that; just a desire to explain myself a little.

 

So nothing. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just not what DLP happens to look for in library recommendations. You write by your standards and we judge by ours. It's all cool.

 

It's nothing spectacular, it's a cut above most of the stuff on FFN no doubt, but not quite library worthy. Most of my concerns have been brought up already, particularly the lack of a real hook. I always think that a funeral scene is done best from the POV of someone involved, in this case, Ron, Hermione or Neville. With this POV you don't really get to feel the grief that's going on, you're on the outside looking in and don't receive the full effect.

Still, not bad, somewhere between 3-3.5/5, rounded down.

 

You know, C2s aren't used as much as you might think. I've asked quite a few people what they prefer to browse FF.net with and most tell me that they use the tagging system rather than the C2s. Conclusion? People tend to read what they like, or they read what sounds interesting. Your title and summary are both pretty bland. A better way to grab the attention you're looking for as a writer would be to come up with an intriguing title/summary that jumps off the page.

 

Welcome, I'm fairly new too, joined around twelve days ago.

Onto the story, though, let me get this straight... Voldemort invented another Killing Curse, cursed Harry with it, but since it was a somewhat slow death with pain, Harry had to fight through the pain and cast an Disarmer, at the same time, Voldemort cast an AK, which backfired onto himself, and killed him. A minute later, Harry dies too.
I didn't read the rest, but the first part made me slightly wary. I'll not rate this, since you apparently have hope for it.

 

Basically, but the main part you're missing (and maybe I didn't make this clear enough, as I really only had one line devoted to this) was that the same force that protected him after his 'death' in the Forest from the Cruciatus (ie, not feeling the pain, dying out of love for others, Voldemort's silencing charm not really working on the Hogwarts crowd) came into play again with this.

I don't necessarily think it out of the realm of possibility that Voldemort could have come up with another Killing Curse (though it's definitely a convenient idea for me), but this 'love' was able to stop Harry from feeling the pain of the curse and allow him back on his feet; it just wasn't able to counteract the ultimate effect of death. Erm, yeah. And nice to see another newbie here.

 

That's another good way to put it. I really just meant another curse whose main intention it was to kill, haha. I saw Voldemort creating something that would cause more pain (and therefore more satisfaction) than the instant death of Avada Kedavra.

 

The thing I really dislike about most stories with spell development, outside of retards calling them the Imperio, the Crucio, and the Avada Kedavra curses, is this: New Killing Curses.

Point of fact: The Killing Curse is the ultimate spell within the dark arts. There is no blocking this fucker. There is no cure. Just. Instant. Dead. There is no debate. In terms of effectiveness at its job, you cannot develop better.

As a tool of writing, Rowling managed to pull a fairly solid punch with this one and what it meant to her world at large: There is no hope, no escape, only death. And then you get this puking, sniveling little shit of a kid who just happens to say "Fuck You, Death. Fuck you." Twice, even.

There is never an acceptable reason to change/try to change it. For as much as I dislike a lot of shit Rowling did, we aren't going to come up with better.

Outside of this, I have nothing new to add. NMB did a fairly good cleanup of this.

 

I agree with Vash. Riddle making a new "death curse"? Gtfo please, and stay the fuck out.

 

I didn't read the story, but if the curse is weaker/blockable/not as scary as the Killing Curse, I'd be totally fine with it.

 

But what would the point be? If you're a raving lunatic with a god complex and hell bent on taking over the world, why would you use a curse that can potentially be stopped, when you have a curse like the Killing Curse, which cannot be stopped.

 

True, but you don't build a million dollar bridge because one person thinks the old bridge looks ugly. I mean, yeah, I get you need something different, but there is likely to be thousands of lethal spells out there. And we know Potter sucks at front on fights.

Which I don't disagree with. Cardboard cutout as he was, an intelligent Riddle could have probably come up with a few hundred spells to torture and kill.

But thinking about it logically, the idea of a curse that kills eventually rather than immediately is a bad idea. Reference every Bond villain ever. Time is against you when you've got an enemy that has proven to be resourceful enough to fuck your plans. Especially in the middle of an open, ongoing fight. Those kinds of spells should be restricted to being used when you have time to torture in private.

So you may be certain you killed them, but you're still taking a risk that to kill him, you give him time to kill you back. Its illogical.

Considering his failures and Potter being able to escape, its not much more than a door prize to fall back on what he should have been using from the start.

Either way the most idea way for him to have killed Potter was mailing him a letterbomb filled with like... Nundu breath or something. >_>

 

Why anything magical? Just mail him something filled with Anthrax. Who gives a shit about the muggles who are equally affected? Even better, Yersinia pestis. Europeans love that bug.

 

Was more concerned with ... you know... Voldemort being a wizard and using magical means. D: But if you want to ruin everything, go ahead. Ruin it up.

God, this is why we cant have nice things! You ruin everything.