I like to imagine that being in your early hundreds as a wizard is akin to being in your 60s as a muggle. Not old enough to really be considered decrepit, but not young enough to be considered 'middle-aged' either. I consider McGonagall as middle-aged.

 

Fanon, because it is a derivation of the word Canon.

A cannon is something you fire clowns from at the circus...

Are you a clown?

To me, she'll always be Hermione Jane Granger. That's what JKR first named her.

While she supposedly changed it because she gave Dolores Jane Umbridge the same middle name...

• Now wanting to reuse a middle name that's rarely, if ever, used in the books anyway is kind of a lame excuse to meddle with the name of an established and well-liked character.
• Hermione was around for four whole books before Umbridge waddled onto the scene, and is one of the main characters. So why not change Umbridge's name, instead?
• I think the real reason is because her daughter, Mackenzie's middle name is Jean, and JKR just wanted her sharing her self-insert main character's name, instead of the fat, ugly, evil, bitch, third-string antagonist's name.

Also, I use "Hermione Jane" because, to me, "Hermione Jean" sounds like something a hillbilly with an uncharacteristic predilection for Shakespeare would name their backwards, beaver-toothed, daughter...

Or son.

Hillbillies...

Because JKR has lost her damned mind?

And, unlike the image most people have of her (from the movie or otherwise), she had black hair, not gray.

Clearly she is still a 'stone fox' and, yet, she only gets shipped with Dumbledore (gay, gay Albus Dumbledore) and Hermione.

And, sometimes, Snape.

Other than not living up to her house's reputation, leaving Harry hanging out to dry, and being Dumbledore's blindly obedient crony, what did she ever do to deserve such a fate?

Tsk, tsk.

 

McGonagall/Flitwick for the win.

He's a tripod, don't ya know.

 

There's already porn of that over on paheal's rule34 site. Under the tags "Minerva_McGonagall" and "Filius_Flitwick", if you're that curious to see it.

 

:facepalm This is why we can't have nice things.

 

How politically powerful is the Malfoy family?

I was reading something earlier this week, and Malfoy completely owned Magical Britain. It got me thinking about what Lucius (and Draco, I suppose) actually managed to force through in canon.

After the first war, he gets away scot-free, but so do lots of other Death Eaters, some of which (Crabbe and Goyle) aren't supposed to have anything to their name except their blood.

In CoS, Hagrid gets sent to Azkaban, and Dumbledore gets fired. But Hagrid was blamed for the first series of attacks, so I can't see it being difficult to blame him for this series; and Dumbledore was unable to stop the attacks, again, I can't see it being too difficult for Malfoy to orchestrate his firing.
Malfoy getting on the quidditch team was more a case of being able to buy off the captain, who is the one who makes the choices.

in PoA, Buckbeak gets executed. A dangerous animal that got out of control attacked a student. It might have been the student's fault for being a prick, but it was also the teacher's fault for having the animal. Organising the destruction of Buckbeak can't really have been that difficult.

So yeah, what have I missed?

 

I liken his influence on the Ministry to the lobbying power of Halliburton.

 

In COS he threatened the rest if the board of governors until they agreed to sack Dumbledore, that wasn't really political power so much as intimidation.

And according to Mr Weasley:

So he doesn't have absolute power, but a mixture of his money and threats allow him a great deal of influence. He can't make or break laws, but he can maybe bend them a bit.

Of course he lost all of his power after OOTP when he was arrested. Even when Voldemort took charge in DH he didn't have much power.

 

Voldemort made Lucius the scapegoat for the failed 'retrieve the prophecy' mission, and added insult to injury by conscripting Draco to kill his biggest threat, despite knowing that Draco would be woefully ill-equipped to fight Dumbledore. Further, he took over Malfoy Manor and ran rampant over Lucius for his ultimate failure. I think that by the end, Narcissa, Lucius and Draco all loathed Voldemort's influence on their life, and if given the choice, they would have fought against them.

In fact, I've always wondered why there isn't a fic where Lucius undermines Voldemort in the same way Snape does. I could never see him grovelling for Dumbledore's pity and safety, but I could certainly see Lucius making plans to take control of his home and finances. It would be interesting to see how he gets around Voldemort's mark and the simple fact that the world's darkest wizard has been setting up base in Lucius' home and using his money to make moves.

 

I thought Lucius besides Snape's role in DH was such a huge disappointment. I don't even understand what her goal was with Lucius. Showing how some prideful ambitious potential child murder was degraded by a bigger bully or how evil people can love their family too. It was so absurd.

I would have expected from the CoS Lucius to have a plan to take over the Ministry directly after Voldemort kicked the bucket. Use Voldemort as his stepping stone.

 

Both of these seem to me to be good expansions of the character, and add much needed depth to the otherwise comically evil Lucius.

 

Here's something I've been trying to figure out.
Are all-caps allowed in a story, besides article titles and the likes? Is there an instance where seeing all-caps won't make you twitch in annoyance?

 

This was in Pet Peeves like two weeks ago, and it was pointed out that they are used in the Harry Potter books. So yeah, I don't really mind them as long as they are used appropriately.

 

Addressing previous comments:

Sesc: I guess I meant what if Lucius decided to stand up to Voldemort, scheming to destroy him but through a different route than Dumbledore. Of course Narcissa played her part in Voldemort's downfall, but I would find it tremendously interesting if there was a fic in which Lucius craved the power Voldemort holds and makes moves seperate from the 'good guys' to put Voldemort under, thus putting him in charge of the Death Eaters.

Republic21: All caps are allowed, just frowned at when they get out of hand. Personally, I choose to explain my character's anger, grief or exasperation with some type of notation before or after the dialogue.

For example:

Luna turned to Harry, and for the first time he could remember, the blonde Ravenclaw looked exceedingly angry. "You don't want to test me on this," she said, her blue eyes locked on his own. "I will fucking destroy you!"

-

Voldemort swung his thin arm downward, sending a spiralling web of magic that caught Harry completely off guard and threw him against the wall. Triumphantly, he yelled at the Boy Who Lived, his high-pitched voice reverberating off the walls. "How does it feel to lose, Harry? To know that no matter what you do, you are hopelessly out-matched, only delaying your inevitable defeat at the hands of a superior opponent." He smiled viciously. "I wouldn't know, of course; I was never as weak as you are now." Dizzy with pain and bleeding from multiple cuts as well as his scar, Harry could only slump against the ground motionless.

Hermione ran into the chamber moments later, screaming his name at the top of her voice - doing anything that would get Harry to move before Voldemort eviscerated him. Noting that he was still unconscious, she directed all of her ire at the Dark Lord. "Get away from him!"

"Fuck you, bitch!" Voldemort screeched, annoyed that the Mudblood witch even had the nerve to speak to him. "Bow, bow!"

 

Off topic and no offense to Averis, but if I were to come across that in a fic, I would immediately stop reading. Voldemort, evilest evil dude this side of evil, should never sound like a raging, two-bit muggle thug.

 

I'm pretty sure he was just taking the piss.

 

I hope so.

 

Wrong. I was serious.

Bow, bow.