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WIP Wand and Shield by Roarian/Morta's Priest - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Roarian, Jun 4, 2012.

  1. Roarian

    Roarian High Inquisitor

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    Appreciate those : they're the kinds of things you just read over when checking since they're not really spelling errors (she's/she'd is actually just a typo, the d and s are really close together.) or just left behind after restructuring a sentence (e.g. considerably)

    Thanks - I'm considering writing an alternate ending for this one and letting you guys pick which is most appropriate, though.

    Cheers.
     
  2. Celestin

    Celestin Dimensional Trunk

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    Well, Potter's magic is not killing technology as easily as Dresden's magic and it even direct exposure to spells doesn't destroy it. The bug would work perfectly fine if Harry didn't find it.

    What I was saying is that I think inside of the wizard's body could be considered a highly magical environment similar to the Hogwarts and that's where electronics stopped working in Potter's verse.

    Unfortunately, it mostly because the other fics were simply very bad. ;)
     
  3. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    This, actually. This is the only problem I have, so far, and it's annoying me quite a bit.

    Keep it up man.
     
  4. Roarian

    Roarian High Inquisitor

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    Well, I can probably spoil this much : Harry comes down with a serious case of the 'what the hell did I eat?' in the next chapter when they start shorting out.

    Cheers.

    ---------- Post automerged at 19:13 ---------- Previous post was at 19:12 ----------

    This is basically the case; you're a bit quick on the draw on this one. ;)

    That's... just sad. :(
     
  5. Nefar

    Nefar Seventh Year

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    Excellent story, I can't wait to see what happens next. But is it just me, or has the Muffliato spell officially replaced the actual Silencing Charm as the go-to fanon silencing spell?
     
  6. Bill Door

    Bill Door The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    Well the silencing charm prevents the target from speaking, which isn't what Harry wanted, he needed to be able to speak to Barton. He just didn't want Barton to be able to talk to his allies, so he used muffliato. So in this case its use is justified.
     
  7. PotterFan

    PotterFan High Inquisitor

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    Well....since you're giving out spoilers....can we expect to see this new chapter out today? (pleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyes)
     
  8. Duke

    Duke DA Member

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    I wonder how apparition would effect nanodrones. It seems a little silly pointing it out since we already know they are going to die, but I figured that if anything would nuke them magical transport would.

    Hell I wonder if it wouldn't cause some form of splinching - I mean technology reacts badly to magic and it isn't supposed to be there in the first place as far as Harry is concerned. On the other hand apparition doesn't seem to be teleportation as such as much as traveling through some form of fold-space so maybe carrying extra passengers wouldn't affect it at all.
     
  9. Roarian

    Roarian High Inquisitor

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    Well, the wizards are already taking a couple trillion bacteria with them every time they transport, I don't imagine that their insides get selectively left behind. It seems to me splinching is supposed to be more of a concentration issue where not all of the body is properly taken with - like a bubble around the person which is transported, and anything left outside the bubble gets splinched. (Yikes...)

    Here's the alternate ending at the moment :
    -----------

    Short-range apparition was risky – one spends only a fraction of a moment between two places which tended to lead the person in question to process both the image of the place just left behind as well as the arrival point; confusion and headaches were the least of your problems compared to the risk of splinching when not remembering to keep the target location clearly visualized. Harry knew this – he'd sworn not to use the technique unless he had to, as the first time he'd tried it, he'd lost his lunch and Ron had practically choked on his laughter. He reasoned that at least that wouldn't happen this time around.


    Harry vanished, appearing with a sharp cracking noise on the roof adjacent to Barton; though the man looked up momentarily he immediately looked away again - the Muggle repelling spell was working then. Good. Unless the man was seriously looking for him, he'd be safe. Harry sneaked a little closer, quickly casting a Supersensory Charm that would amplify sound - at once the rumbles of cars in the streets and the distant roar of busier roads forced themselves into his head, as well as a pair of loud heartbeats; his own and the one of the man he was looking at, now.

    "Agent Barton? What was that noise just now?" a voice asked form the transceiver that the man - Barton, evidently - had hanging from is neck; Barton picked it up.

    "Barton here - it was just a car backfiring, I think. Nothing to worry about."

    "Understood - keep us posted on the target's movements."

    A chill ran down his back as Harry considered that wording - 'target'. Between the military clothes the man was wearing and the high-tech bow in his hands, he wasn't sure if he was looking at the government or some private army - either option was pretty disturbing. He couldn't just let these people go - not when they'd send people with actual weapons after him - but how to approach it without causing a fuss?

    With a start, he realized that he was dealing with a Muggle here: a lot of the spells considered frivolous on dark wizards such as most tracking spells, befuddlement charms, and so forth, would actually work - unless he was severely mistaken, there was nobody even checking for them, let alone able to remove their effects. A smile worked its way onto his face. This should be interesting...

    The radio suddenly crackled to life again, and the voice sounded somewhat panicked, this time: "Agent Barton - our computer is reading target's position on your roof - I repeat, he's on your roof!"

    Harry stifled a curse, quickly snapping the first listening charm he could remember and apparating back to the roof he'd first been on, crumpling to a heap as his head protested. Leaving the Supersensory Charm active while doing that had definitely been a bad idea; he quickly cancelled it as he got to his feet. Finally, he looked over to the other roof - Barton was taking a look where he'd just been.

    "Agent Barton, I repeat - was that another car? The target's signal has returned to where it was before and is fluctuating, as well. Querying the techies on that, now."

    "I didn't see anything on this end - and I think it was the same car, actually."

    Harry smirked victoriously - his spell was performing flawlessly. Now all he'd have to do was wait.
    -------------
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2012
  10. Warlocke

    Warlocke Fourth Champion

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    considerable

    That should probably be "whims".

    If not... well, that is a weird turn of phrase. Maybe it's an English thing, but "wiles" is far too attached to the phrase "using my/her feminine wiles" to sound right when applied by Harry to Tony Stark.

    Even aside from that, it still reads a bit strange.
     
  11. Roarian

    Roarian High Inquisitor

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    The risk of not being an English native - sometimes you misunderstand a word or maybe misunderestimate how well people from such countries use their language. ;)
     
  12. yak

    yak Moderator DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    Regarding chapter 5: Was there any need for all of that exposition in the first Natasha scene. It seemed out of place and unnecessary. If you wanted to show her interest in Harry, then a smile or the right expression while looking over some info or hearing about him would work better, imo.

    There seems to be a logic problem with Jezebel's trap. Harry was randomly wandering without rhyme or reason. He had no preset path, so how did Shield know where to set up their trap in advance? The odds of Harry walking past the right electronics shop in NYC is very small. Did Shield set up a dozen different traps around the Stark Tower Complex in the hopes that Harry would walk into one?

    If they somehow did it all very fast, such as seeing Harry walk down a sidewalk and taking over some random person's electronics store only moments beforehand, then it'd be better to hint at that somehow.

    With the first Shield bug, it seemed that the only reason it lasted so long was because Harry had been pretending to be a muggle and used little to no magic since Natasha had attached it. This seemed to be backed up by the story about the cellphone which eventually accumulated enough magic to blow up.

    It's hard to think of a method which would saturate a device with more magic than by apparating with it. edit: I'm not trying to tell you how your own story should work, just explaining why I'd been half-expecting the apparition to insta-kill the nanobots.
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2012
  13. yak

    yak Moderator DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    double post
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2012
  14. Francis D. Saber

    Francis D. Saber Second Year

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    I just want to point out, That in the comics thor has been turned in one point or another into a frog. Yes a frog. And Asgardians are not by any means highly resistant to magic. Yes they have the ability to harness magic, but few do so.

    Most of the time it's the equipment that's been enchanted by magic. Mainly due to Uru metal that they use.

    Now the hulk on the other hand. He has godly resistance but it still can be done, bewitching him or something that is. I.E Loki and the Enchantress. While it is possible it is also good to note that he'll break out of whatever spell cast upon him depending on his rage meter.


    I just thought i'd post. Hopefully this helps you. If not well i tried. Write more please it's been an entertaining tale so far
     
  15. Roarian

    Roarian High Inquisitor

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    Well, you're assuming it's a Harry/Natasha tale, which is hardly confirmed. She fills in a couple things that hadn't been addressed as well as her own take.

    Not much earlier Harry notes that he'd been diverted a few times by overly busy crossroads or one time a cop, and just picked a new direction; though I'm not explicit about it, he's led to one of several SHIELD-controlled premises where they put up the video. I'll see if I can make such clearer, perhaps in the scene after Harry leaves.

    This is why the next chapter deals with that issue. Cheers. ;)
     
  16. DrSarcasm

    DrSarcasm Headmaster

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    Don't really read the comics, but thought some background knowledge from them would help out. From the Marvel Wiki, on Thor's weaknesses:
    On the Hulk, he has no particular resistance to magic, but can't be hurt by pretty much anything physical (explosions, cutting, binding) that Harry can throw at him. On the mental side:
    So Harry is at the very least unable to do much to the Hulk, as well as Thor, unless he uses the Deathstick.


    And since you are using movie Ironman, I'd suggest watching the movie(s) to remember his quirks--doesn't like to be handed stuff, usually very uncaring about what people think of him, hides his emotions and regrets behind his jackass playboy personality, etc.
     
  17. Roarian

    Roarian High Inquisitor

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    I think we should take that with a grain of salt, given that we're dealing with the movie!verse Thor, who doesn't come across as nearly as overpowered, even if he's still freaking powerful.

    Right - Harry going toe-to-toe with everyone wouldn't be interesting anyway, there needs to be challenge.

    I've been trying to keep him in character as much as I can, since he's one of the tougher ones to get right, in my experience. He'd a bit of a dick to Harry in the previous chapter and sort of shrugs it off even when he's called out on it, plus he's offhandedly throwing joky comments out there, calls Harry by his own movie-themed nickname (it's practically a tradition) and so forth.

    In any case, I'm watching a bunch of these movies again to get some good insight into them - it's certainly no punishment (Iron Man is very entertaining ride.)
     
  18. Sechrima

    Sechrima Disappeared

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    The thing to remember with Harry in terms of power comparisons is that Avada Kedavra > everyone. Not that he's going to use it on allies, but still... Harry has the strongest power of all the Avengers just in that one curse. Even the Hulk would drop dead instantly if he caught it.

    Excepting the Killing Curse, though, he'll definitely need to use trickery and guile to be competitive with some of his future comrades... which is really what I'm looking forward to seeing in this crossover. Harry will need his cunning as much as his bravery to get by as an Avenger.

    I also hope Harry will take an interest in Asgardian magic (which seems likely, as he's already somewhat intrigued by Stark's arc reactor) and learn something from it. As the only wizard in this timeline, he sort of has a duty to learn as much about magic as he can. It's also only logical that he would be drawn to all kinds of magic, since a purely Muggle world would probably be depressing for him.
     
  19. Roarian

    Roarian High Inquisitor

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    Right - the only time he'd even think of using it would be in an emergency where there is literally no other choice. He didn't even use it against bloody Voldemort, even after he'd literally killed him minutes earlier. :p

    Indeed, if he's going to fight alongside those guys, he has to be more than the guy with Stupefy.

    As you might've noticed, I've already set that up a little - when Thor enters the picture that should get more significant. (Harry getting involved with SHIELD should allow him to get around to the various movie!verse events that he normally wouldn't know about.)
     
  20. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    I liked the second ending better, though that's mostly because it didn't feel right when Hawkeye said that Harry "attacked" him in the first ending. He says this after Harry knocks his bow out of his hand, granted, but also after Harry has said there's no need for violence. Barton saying that he was attacked grated on me a bit.

    But in the case of the second option, well, they just saw Harry teleport basically using their nano-trackers, but it appeared to be brushed off. So eh.

    Also -- if you want to edit your first post with new chapters, that's great, but it was a pain in the ass to find it halfway down. Maybe edit your first post with links to the later chapters instead, like NMB does sometimes. That way it's in the first post in clickable form (and would take people to your post with the story instead)?
     
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