If only Harry had known how to use the Internet, he could have done some research for his 'holiday'. Like on this site.

I particularly like this guy's review of nightlife in Afghanistan:

 

Because it was the building of those weapons that caused all of this to begin with. They opened the doorway and essentially sent a lovely signal out to the rest of the universe saying look at the weapons we are building. We are ready to fight on a larger scale. Did you miss that part of the movie?

 

To be fair, there are worse people to listen to.

 

And there are worse gods to believe in.

 

What can I say, Harry is simply badass.

 

Very, very good. A few grammatical and structural mistakes, but I'll let someone more competent than me go over them... and the few I've noticed you fixed in the time for me to write this.
Nice job!

 

I'm really enjoying this so far. Lots of good ideas, and nice execution. Looking forward to seeing where it all goes!

 

What a tease!

Looking forward the reaction of Fury in the next chapter.

Other than that, I feel that you use too much "-". Makes the reading kind of, I don't know, jerky. Maybe more commas or semi-colon could make it flow better.

Could be just because I am French and we hardly use it.

Still, I am liking the story more and more.

P.S: What do you feel of the idea of adding a cheeky greeting to Natasha in the parchment?

 

Only thing that caught my eyes.

 

lol Constant Vigilance. love that.

Fury's already a paranoid fuck; I wonder how much worse this note will make him, knowing that Harry somehow managed to infiltrate SHIELD and sneak a note in his pocket (or had someone do it for him).

 

Did Harry really had the balls to put listening charm on Futy's eyepatch?

 

I honestly didn't notice that at first, but if he did, that's kind of fucking awesome.

 

I suspected he'd use the eyepatch once he started putting thought into what he'd charm. It's the most reliable object to choose from.

 

I really enjoyed this chapter. Particularly, I liked the way the people in the room were described during the meeting. It seemed to be a mix of military or ex-military personnel and spies. Little things like the difference in how ridged they were when they were sitting really made me happy.

I wouldn't worry too much about the command structure though. Even when I was in the military there were some officers who went out of their way to try and wave you off from greeting them when you were standing watch. Some people are just far more relaxed than others.

As for the rest of the chapter, I enjoyed the execution and the little trick with the eye patch. I wonder how long Harry will keep up his little ruse and just pretend to be a really good spy with no real extraordinary powers beyond teleportation...I imagine he will keep it up as long as possible or at least until something so horrible happens that his hero complex kicks in such as the events at the end of the Avengers movie.

Personally, I am enjoying the kind of slight of hand magic Harry seems to be doing. He does magic in a way that keeps people from noticing that he is doing anything which adds a bit of misdirection to his actual magic.

 

Awesome.

A small question.

Why the post scriptum is before the signature?
I mean it means "after signature", if I'm not mistaken...

 

I quote from the chapter :

Since he was in the room he was listening in on, it would be rather annoying to hear everything twice and this also establishes that it can be dampened if he wishes.

Canon doesn't have much on the topic except for such applications as the Weasley's Extendable ears; regardless, it seems to me to be exactly the kind of charm that Aurors might use to keep an ear out, and they'd have better stuff available than a few drop-outs. ;P

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Fixor'd.