So, God created the shit-flinging monkeys that evolved into us?

I suppose that's a good compromise.

 

No, no, no.

The proto-soccer/football hooligans hadn't yet developed the necessary intellect and hand-eye coordination to fling shit when the branch split, and humans evolved from one branch, while shit-flinging monkeys evolved from the other.

Monkeys is monkeys, humans is humans, and we all have a distant ancestor that is embarrassed that either species evolved from it.

 

God created the Universe a few thousand years ago (in meticulous detail down to CMB radiation) and planted all these fossils into the soil, so that he can laugh his arse off at the so-called modern science and its wild guesses.

Anyway, I heard that the evolutionary tree for Homo Sapiens (there are nice funny pictures in there. The modern version of the tree can be found here) was largely falsified. Take Pekin man for example: ten skeletons and one partial skull of some thing between apes and humans. Anyway, where are the Peking man fossils? My opinion, the Peking man was invented by the Chineese to raise the morale of their people, because apparently, the first human came from China. Of course, from there he moved to Africa, and Homo Erectus Pekinensis is a blind end on that evolutionary tree anyway. It's all politicking if you ask me. Then there was this Charles Dawson and the Piltdown Man Hoax, though I'm pretty sure that the Piltdown Man was removed from the textbooks since than. The same could be said about the Nebraska Man.

The Heidelbergensis Man was first discovered as a single lower jaw from Mauer, Germany, and a distorted skull from Arago in France. What a joke. Of course there was a skull in Greece, and many fossils were found since than throughout Europe, Africa and China, but really the idea itself of basing Homo Sapiens evolution on the single evidence of a lower jaw is laughable.

I can go on, but here's the home page to go if you're a creationist.

Haeckel's embrional prove: fake.

Evolutional theory: just give me one example when one species evolves from another in modern history. There's only natural selection and hybrids that don't give progeny.

My personal opinion is that life on Earth was engineered by some unknown entities, DNA being akin to programmer reusable code. Which is cooler than Darwin's idea, I think.

 

Oh my god!

Quick, send that info to Nature!

Nobel prize coming up, good sir.






More seriously, every time a bacterium adapts to a medicine evolution has taken place.

Edit: In case of edit, here it is in all its glory:

 

Is this a joke?

 

I just absolutely love this argument! Oh, your entire post was... beautiful, good sir. I've never seen anyone who claimed to believe this stuff before!

Tell me, what are your thoughts on the lunar landing? Is global warming real? Are you offended by Pokemon? What's this reasoning behind god planting fossils on earth? Is it okay for god to be a douchebag? What are your thoughts on other religions? Is god magical?

Ooh. This is fascinating.

 

Sir, I never edit my posts in the manner you are suggesting. I'm offended.

 

Quoted for great justice. And lulz - can't forget the lulz.

 

Thank you, Portus. That's awesome.

 

We didn't, but Jorm did.

 

/filler

 

"Responding to a reviewer" stories. Stories about responding to a reviewer.

It's a bit weirdfux, but it's technically correct, minus useful punctuation.

 

...and damn proud of it, too.

Well, considering the general state of humanity at the moment, who would want to be apart of that species? :awesome

 

Well I suppose I could bring up the fact that Evolution isn't necessarily turning into another species, it can be adapting to your surroundings, but that's already been said by Taure.

Regardless, I will anyway.

Tiger stripes. Can you explain those as created by God? Did God do it because it looked cool? Are tiger stripes the very first decal? If you're curious, tigers evolved their stripes as an adaptation to their surroundings for camouflage and to be better predators.

The same goes for lions. You think they're that odd shade of gold/yellow for fun? Oddly enough, the grass in that region is the same shade, or close enough for the lion to pass at a cursory glance.

Pack hunting (by wolves, in this example) was evolved as a means to take down larger prey that individuals could not. Ever seen wolves take down a moose? Yeah.

On a completely unrelated note, we already know that humans will evolve into zombies, so why are we even talking about creationism in the first place?

 

Not me - not human, remember?

Unless it goes across species like HIV did. That would suck for me.

 

It goes across species.

Zombie dogs exist, as do monkeys and any other animal you can think of.

Sorry Jorm, you're fucked.