Hey guys, this is my first post on DLP. I'd introduce myself in the Introduction Archives, but they're closed.

Anyway, what I've been thinking for a while now, since I started reading fanfiction is this: why hasn't anyone thought of using house elves as assassins?

I mean think about it. They supposedly have some different kind of magic that allows them to apparate through wards, even inside Hogwarts and they are obligated to perform as their master commands them.

So, say you are Voldy. You command a house elf to pop in Hogwarts and kill Potter, Dumbledore and anyone else you don't like. You hand it a good old kitchen knife, and it happily goes on a killing spree in the middle of the night, with no one the wiser! Easy as pie!

What do you think?

 

It'd only work if the house elf's name was Chucky.

 

Who is Voldy? And who said that nobody has come up with assassin house-elves. I believe Andro did something like that in one of his fics.

 

It could be argued that only happened as he was previously the owners house-elf.

 

Plotholes in HP canon? What a surprise!

 

Because the other side has House Elves too. I'd speculate that House Elves can protect their house/Hogwarts from other House Elves.

 

Not everyone has house elves. Malfoy could dispose of the entire Weasley clan using Dobby, but he never tried it or at least never managed it.

Perhaps it is entirely against house elves' nature to kill someone, perhaps even like a magical version of Asimov's laws of robotics.

 

Who is Voldy? Voldemort of course. Anyway, I don't know if anyone has already thought of that. I haven't seen any story using that and I thought why not?

 

Now I'm imagining Hogwarts' House Elves fighting with Death Eaters' ones, espionage style, in between cooking and cleaning.

 

I think he may have been sarcastic... Also, who tagged vodlemort?

 

That would be me :facepalm Typo I guess.

You and your attention to detail... Couldn't you let it slide?

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That would be a very interesting concept! House Elf Warfare!

 

I read one where Harry uses Kreacher to kill all the eligible pureblood woman, who are planing to marry him because of his money...

 

It's pretty simple... Every house elf has to obey only three rules:

1. A house elf may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A house elf must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A house elf must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

:awesome

 

Why not? Because JKR can't recognize an excessively powerful weapon when she creates one. See Also: Felix Felicis, those gray-gooesque fireworks of Fred and George's, side-along apparition in general. Hell, they don't even use any of those WWW shield products, and those don't even require any imagination to use effectively.

Actually, enchantment in general seems underutilized in canon. If the Ministry went and bought 500 shield hats, why don't the Death Eaters use them after they take over? Sure, they don't block everything, but when your enemies never use anything stronger than a Full-Body Bind, they should be good enough to carry around on a semi-regular basis.

Back on topic, house elf assassins might make a decent CrackFic. Probably not, though. Actually, the more I think about this idea, the dumber it sounds.

 

No.

On topic. House-elves obviously can hurt people, so it seems to me that either a) the bond on them prevents them from doing so, either completely or without express orders. If the latter, then b) comes into effect; only the old, Pureblood families seem to have house-elves, I don't think it would be seen as 'proper' to have a house-elf do your dirty work somehow.

Also, it wouldn't really work from a story point of view; once it had been done, the entire story would have to be about stopping other house-elves tossing you out of the window while you sleep.

 

This is the only explanation I can actually get behind. It makes sense that creatures as innocent as House-elves wouldn't be capable of murder. Sure, they can hurt you (as was the case with Lucius Malfoy being roughed up by Dobby, or with the horde of swarming house-elves that attacked at the battle of Hogwarts) but kill you?

I think the closest we see to a House-elf trying to legitimately kill another living being was Dobby's dropping of the chandelier in Malfoy Manor. But if you think about it, a wizard can bounce after falling from several stories, so it's highly unlikely that a chandelier falling on them would be fatal.

 

House-Elves can be vicious little bastards when they want to be, and they can definitely kill people if they want. I imagine that they weren't used as assassins because:
A) No one would ever think of using the two foot tall servant as an asassin, and
B) They wouldn't be very good at it. Yes they can get through wards and stuff, but they don't exactly seem like they'd be good at killing when they reach the person.