Eh? Why is his claim so hard to accept? You're one paranoid motherfucker.

 

*sprays coffee all over monitor*

/dies laughing

 

Sometimes I feel like most of the people on this forum keep DLP open in their browsers just waiting for someone to post something stupid so they can unleash their fury.

Or is that just me?

 

Empirical evidence.

 

Damn, now I want a burger. Or a steak.

Oh puh-lease, the whole "my friend" excuse is the oldest one in the book, and it's painfully obvious.

For example, "My 'friend' thinks that the OP just jumped into a shark tank."

 

Wait... You mean you don't? The hell is wrong with you, boy? Your mother not feed you paint chips as a baby?

@Eidolonic: Just accept it. The more you resist DLP and its subliminal messages, the more likely you are to wake up one morning locked in a cell, wondering why, only to find out you murdered all of your family after you forced them to watch you eat your still living first born son.

And no one really wants that. Think of your son, Eidolonic.

@Mknote; Percentage of people who claim "My <friend/random-relative>" did something and are in fact telling the truth? One in One hundred million, I'd say. Much easier to just say "Hey, look at this shitty storylolol is bad amirite?! :awesome" and move on. Distance both as friend and reader, no unbelievable claims, no drama outside of you being a douche and reccing horrid stories.

Don't mistake simple cynicism for paranoia. Its the interent. People lie. It is merely easier to assume you all lie until I get proof of it. How have you not picked up on this yet? You've been on the internet longer than a week...

 

There's an old joke:

A man walks into a urologist's office and says: "doctor, my friend has this problem..." the doctor says: "well, drop your pants, show me your friend".

 

... I think I don't even wait a week.