Good bit of ground to cover with the next installment.

Floroama Meadow honey tree yielded an Aipom, caught and named Gregorio. I wanted a Combee (or a Munchlax or Heracross obviously, but the odds on those are terribad), but meh I prolly would have gotten a useless male even if it had been one. I might attempt to raise this, since it should have Technician upon evolving to Aibipom and that's always cool. But not right now.

Togepi egg received and hatched in Eterna City. Yay, Serene Grace! Boo, for some reason I thought this one would have Extrasensory like the HG/SS Togepi does. It does not and thus goes to the box for a long time until I can make use of it.

Head down Cycling Road, continuing to battle trainers. Take a moment to slather another honey tree (which later yields Cloak the Burmy, meh) down on Route 206 below the road. Battling trainers en route to Mt. Coronet yeilds another tragedy. Hulkamania the Machop battles against a Hiker with Geodudes.

Does anybody know what Geodudes like to do in this fucking game? MattSilver?

It criticaled, didn't even need to. Anyway, Machop is left a blown up mess of hamburger on the mountainside and my team is down to three. No enormous loss since I would have rotated it out soon regardless, but a potential Machoke would have remained as a serviceable backup and now it's gone. Possum spit.

Head into Wayward Cave. Between Gible, Bronzor, and even a Zubat that I still somehow lack I'm bound to get something usable right? LOL no, it's another Geodude. Fuck you you fucking fuck, grab my Earthquake TM and split into the other path. Help Mira, whose Kababra is pretty badass and makes grinding some experience on the wild Pokemon and trainers inside a lot easier. Leviathan evolves to Gyarados at last.

That done, head back up to Eterna and into the woods and the Old Chateau. Grab Halloween the Gastly (I could have gone for Rotom, it was the right night for it, but whatever) and loot the place while letting Leviathan get a little experience on the wild ghosts since Bite is about the only offensive move he has right now. He will be eating more delicious undead nonflesh soon enough.

Repel through Mt. Coronet (wish it could also repel annoying douchebags so I don't have to talk to Cyrus) because I want to save my encounter here for the late game when I can get something much better. On the other side, catch Herpaderp the Bibarel and curse my luck for not getting a Ralts. I need a Psychic and I do not want to spend hours grinding happiness for Espeon, in addition to the fact that I just did use that in my Heart Gold game and don't care to repeat. I've tried to stay away from using insulting names on this run, but right then I was still mega pissed about my Machop so Herpaderp it is. She'll be a good HM slave at least, and replaces Bidoof in that role now.

Hearthome City yeilds Dhoulmagus the Eevee, which gets the Soothe Bell and a place in the team. If it happens that I end up having to use Espeon for a lack of any other decent option, might as well start grinding the happiness now.

The gym goes as smoothly as any run-in with Fantina ever has. Leviathan rips and shreds the ghosts with his teeth, only taking damage from Aftermath upon killing Drifloons. For the French floozy herself, set up with X Attack and X Speed (for dealing with Mismagius) against Duskull, which does nothing except whiff a Will O' Wisp and initiate a weak Future Sight as I do so. From there, Gyarados turns Fantina's team into dinner without a hitch.

After demolishing Shortbus again, Route 209 gives me another shitty Bibarel (tempted to start cheating here on the repeat Pokemon thing, but still resisting the urge...) and a quick stop into Lost Tower brings Some the Zubat, a fortunate find because I presently have nothing that can use Defog or Fly due to the death of my Staravia. How's that for a long sentence?

Route 210 brings another Staravia. When I run into this one, I sit a moment and think about whether to catch it. It's not against the rules anywhere to catch and use a repeat of a deceased Pokemon, but I end up considering it to be contrary to the spirit of the challenge and dispatch the bird. So yeah, I just derped and made this even harder.

In better news, Grotle and Luxio both evolve en route to Veilstone (also grab Mascot the Marill on Route 211, all the while grousing over the lack of something better). Kadabra or Scyther both would have been awesome. Meh.

Still in search of something to handle Maylene's gym with or really just a decent addition to the team in general, continue heading south from Veilstone after taking a moment to grab Nintenduck the Porygon. Again, pity I can't trade because Porygon-Z is badass.

It's night now, heading down in hopes of grabbing a Houndour. I still don't have a Fire or Dark either, and that would fill both holes. Alas, Route 214 brings Bulldozer the Rhyhorn and Valor Lakefront yet another godforsaken Bibarel.

And at long last, some actual luck! Repel all the way through the rainy part of Route 212 and am fortunate enough to get a male Kirlia. I will hold off on revealing its name until I decide for certain what to do with it. Gallade or Gardevoir. Gallade fills more holes on my type coverage and is one of my personal favorites, but Gardevoir is imo an overall better Pokemon and also would fill a glaring need for any kind of Special Attacker on my team. What to do...

The A-Team Redux

Genesis the Torterra, Level 32
Leviathan the Gyarados, Level 32
Landius the Luxray, Level 30
???? the Kirlia, Level 24
Herpaderp the HM Slave, Level Who The Fuck Cares?

The Box

Danielle the Psyduck
Blackrock the Geodude
Digestion the Shellos
Kasumi the Budew
Silence the Meditite
Mindless the Bidoof
Gregorio the Aipom
Cloak the Burmy
Halloween the Gastly
Soma the Zubat
Mascot the Marill
Nintenduck the Porygon
Bulldozer the Rhyhorn
Dhoulmagus the Eevee
Omelette the Togepi

Obituaries

Rapiecage the Staravia - Skuntank'd in Eterna Galactic HQ
Hulkamania the Machop - Geodudes like to use Selfdestruct

 

Much like LT2000, I'm considering my LeafGreen Nuzlocke a wash. By the time I reached Sabrina, my whole team was over level 50 so nothing was a challenge anymore. Curse you Game Corner TM's, which requires me to murder trainers repeatedly with a VS seeker to get that cashy goodness. So now I'm considering which game to use for a Nuzlocke, Emerald or Heart Gold.

 

Consider a Nuzlocke of Randomized Emerald. It randomizes all wild pokemon - in specific ways that you can select when setting it up - including starters and makes the whole thing much more interesting. My only regret is that it's impossible to successfully get past May with a Magikarp starter.

 

That sounds really cool, gonna have to try it one day, but for now I'm sticking with the console versions. I'm leaning toward Heart Gold, since I've beaten Emerald too many times for it to be a challenge.

 

Quick update, with 150% more nerdrage. Not much progress as I don't have a lot of time for Pokemon during le work week.

End up choosing to use Gallade, Kirlia becomes Ascheritt the Gallade and proceeds to stomp all over Maylene with an Earthquake assist from Torterra to crush Lucario.

A little more training, and I herped a derp in Pastoria Gym. Once again, as in White, it was a Fisherman.

Decided to leave my Luxray out against a Whiscash because lol Whiscash sucks ass.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLFUCKINGOL MAGNITUDE 10 FUCK YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU YOU MOTHER RAPING FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT FUCKING GAME.

Ahem...yeah, RIP Landius. Dhoulmagus the Eevee brought out and evolved to Jolteon and taught Shock Wave via TM. Now having to level the little shit. God I hate this game.

I might just quit Nuzlockeing for awhile. I don't have the patience for this shit. Let's just say that. God King Sera wakes up from this shitty dream and issues a royal decree banning all recreational fishing in Unova for fucking ever. Deleting my save so I don't decide to backslide on this. I should have just taken a mulligan with the Luxray thing, but I was resolved to either do this honestly or not do it at all. And now I'm choosing both.

EDIT: And done, baleeted. I am seriously just sick of Pokemon right now.

 

This thread reminds me why I have to buy a new DS. Gotta start a new Nuzlocke asap

 

Yeeees. Buy. That's what we have all done. Right guys?

Guys?

 

Arrrrrrrrrrr.

...Sorry, haven't had breakfast yet and my tummy is a little rumbly.

 

Yar Har Fiddle Dee Dee... I wish I knew how to get Roms on my comp.

 

With a gameboy emulator? duh

 

You should go and ask at GameFAQs.

 

So I read HoS post and figured out how to get a FireRed Rom. I am starting a new Nuzlocke today

Edit-So I started my Nuzlocke against rival Syed. I chose my starter HoS the Bulbasaur. After beating Syed and running a bunch of errands for Oak I finally start my adventure. But not before getting a map from Daisy. Route 1 I catch Kang the Rattata, and then head to Route 22 hoping for a Mankey. I ended up catching a Mankey which I named LT2000 which was shortly killed by a Rattata while grinding D8. I head to Viridian Forest and on Route 2 encounter another Rattata which I KO. In Viridian I encounter a Weedle which I also KO, so now I am grinding up Kang and HoS.

Team
Kang the Rattata Level 5
HoS the Bulbasaur Level 9

Edit-So I leveled up Kang and he feasted on the bugs of Viridian Forest. Oh and my Rivals pet Dinosaur Charmander as well. But all was not well because HoS stomped Brock easily. This got me arrogant and I went to Route 3 where Kang was killed by a Gust Crit . However all was not lost as I caught a female Spearow which I named Drome.

Team
HoS the Ivysaur Level 16
Drome the Spearow Level 7

Corpses
LT2000
Kang

Deceased
LT2000 the Mankey.

 

How dare you allow me to die, fuckhead?

Also, I have a White run in progress. Watching some YouTube of B2/W2 gameplay got me in the mood for some Gen 5. Pretty good going so far, no deaths through Clay but I got denied the Trubbish of Justice once again D:

I've been lazy lazy lazy about writing it up.

 

So my computer died and I forgot to save so my Nuzlocke was ruined :l Starting a new one on Leaf Green, wish me luck.

 

I'm emulating my Pokemanz by playing Red on a television screen through a Pikachu N64 and Pokemon Stadium.

Hoarding childhood crap in the attic was a good idea.

 

Dodrio Mode, bitch.

---------- Post automerged 08-28-2012 at 07:29 AM ---------- Previous post was 08-27-2012 at 11:02 PM ----------

New Rule: ANY death that occurs via crithax is henceforth not to count. Tired of that shit, so so so so so so so tired...

EDIT: Aaaaaaand that's it, second bullshit death means that this is now a regular gameplay run and not shitty fucking Nuzlocke. I'm done playing under these rules. It's not fun, which to me is a cardinal sin of any game. Let's call it Nuzlocke Softcore Mode. I'm still going to adhere to the first Pokemon per route rule, but fuck having to retire anything that gets KO'ed and level up a newer (shittier) one from scratch.

 

So I started a Nuzlocke on Leaf Green and it isn't going to well. I got LT2000 the Charmander in memory of Mankey ;p After I stomped Rival Lavir and ran an errand for Oak my Journey began. Route 1 gave me a Fem Rattata that I named Anya, and Route 22 gave me another Rattata which I killed. I was hoping for a Mankey but meh, I went to Viridian and caught Gambit the Caterpie which I leveled up a lil bit. Heading through Viridian now and hopefully after I beat Brock I'll catch something decent on Route 3 or in MT Moon.

Team
Gambit the Metapod Level 8
LT2000 the Charmander Level 12

HM Whore
Anya the Rattata Level 3

 

NUZLOCKE EMERALD

Ash Addendum: I am playing as Ash, the most detestable, derpiest, and heartless trainer ever to have lived. In memory of Butterfree, who he abandoned with no soul, this Nuzlocke has an additional rule: upon encountering a new catchable Pokemon, when I have six already with me, I must abandon my oldest Pokemon and use the new one in my team. Pokemon are named for what Ash believes they are, not their actual species. He never aged after Gen I, therefore he has never grown, never moved on, and never gained awareness of newer Pokemon.

We've seen the badassery of Red. We've seen Gary Motherfucking Oak. This guy is at the other end of the spectrum. I give you...

Ash Babysniffing Ketchum.


Level: 0


​

Started with Bulbasaur the Treeko, because Ash likes the derpy ones and is set to "It's Complicated with Vine Whip" on his Facebook status.

BULBASAUR: Level 5
​

Herped up to May. Derped into an early grave at the hands of her Torchic at level 7. Derp. Began again, beat its ho ass at level 6. THAT'S HOW ASH BABYSNIFFING KETCHUM ROLLS.

A Pokemart employee saw me walk by Oldale town and forced Ash to take a bottle of hand sanitizer. Filthy bastard is handling animals all day and never washes his hands. No wonder he has fleas and pubic lice. Ash reacted the only sensible way he could - headed into the nearby Pokehospital and shampooed Bulbasaur back to health. Some soap suds got in his eyes and he cried a little bit, but Nurse Joy put a bandaid on it.

Oh boy, a Rattata! Thank you Route 102.

RATTATA: Level 4
​

GO AWAY BULBASAUR I HAVE A NEW FRIEND NOW. Ash proceeds to put Bulbasaur in his rucksack and zip it shut. It struggles and wriggles and tries to get free, but unfortunately it doesn't know Cut and the fabric doesn't tear easily.

By the time we reach Petalburg, Rattata is level 9 and has mastered the god-tier Headbutt. Ash demands he use this move constantly and laughs every time he says "butt". Luckily, Rattata has a skull nearly as thick as Ash's, so its head makes an exemplary weapon. Many trainers fall before its cranial wrath, stopping to give some spare change to Ash before heading off to hear their Pokemon. Ash thinks it's prize money. Rattata understands they mistook him for a homeless waif.

Another bottle of Potion brand shampoo is found. Yet again, Ash washes a Pokemon with it at the neglect of his own hair. It's a fucking mess. At least it gets some of the matted blood and fleshy chunks of Lotad out of Rattata's forehead fur.

The big city of Petalburg is overwhelming. Ash charges blindly through the crowds, knocking over an old lady, accidentally urinating on a Roselia, and falling through the doors of the local gym. Inside is a man who bears a suspicious resemblance to Giovanni. Their eyes meet. The man's eyes widen. His face goes stricken and pale.

"oh, fuck," moans Ash's father. The poor guy had left the frickin' country to escape his needy and incredibly challenged hellspawn, moving to exotic Hoenn and even living for a time among the Slakoth in disguise as a man-sized slothmonkey.

"Daddy," whispers an awestruck and slightly confused Ash. Norman blinks rapidly, his lips moving silently and mind working furiously, until he decides on the only acceptable course of action. Sacrifice. He grabs the nearest gym trainer, some herpaderp named Wally, and throws him at Ash. Mustering all his fatherly authority into his voice, he pushes the two out the door and screams "GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY!"

By the time they returned, he had thought of a good enough excuse - he claimed that he had left home so that Ash could develop as a Pokemon trainer, and would come back once Ash had beaten the Pokemon League. The little cunt stormed off happily, leaving a relieved father, a kidnapped little girl named Ralts who Ash insisted was Wally's starter Pokemon, and an incredibly sick Wally. Ash had insisted on shampooing all the green out of his new 'friend's' hair. The green was natural, and potions are toxic to humans in such insane quantities.

But Ash left town at that point, so all was well in the world once more.

Route 104 saw Ash capture a Growlithe.

GROWLITHE: Level 4
​

But it was kinda scary, so he continued to use Rattata as his main Pokefriend. He did let Growlithe out to fight a Fisherman's Magikarp. The fire-type Growlithe ought to have boiled that fish alive with super-effective special attacks. Oddly enough, Growlithe didn't know any fire moves even though Ash shouted USE EMBER really really loudly.

Headed back to town for a quick shampoo before going into the woods. Ash was hoping to run across a Teddiursa picnic. He was really hungry, having not eaten since leaving home that morning. To stave off the gnawing pangs in his stomach, he stole some fruit from nearby berry trees. The oran berries were too high for his stubby ten year old arms to reach, so he had to cut the bushes down. He'd done something similar at home once, using Norman's DIY tools to cut down the fridge and get to the delicious cheese on the top shelf. It had been a bit mouldy, but that was okay. He just used a chisel to cut out the blue bits and threw them away.

Gee whizz, there sure are a lot of trees in these woods. You know what kind of Pokemon you find in woods? Ash knows, flying types! Birds live in trees! He figured that out all by himself. While he's here, he decides he may as well nab himself a Pidgey.

PIDGEY: Level 6
​

Ash Babysniffing Ketchum strikes again. Growlithe falls to a Wurmple. DEAD FOREVER. Ash keeps the corpse for use as a teddy bear. He gets lonely at night, and Bulbasaur doesn't like to cuddle after the rucksack incident.

Oho, Rattata has picked up a Repel on the floor somewhere. Nice. We can sell this for shampoo money. Not like Ash would ever use a Repel himself. The argumentative little shit never turns down a fight. He's one of those fuckers that will battle you the second you make eye contact, no matter who you are.

Pidgey nearly dies to poisoning. Luckily Ash realizes that the Shroomish he caught earlier was actually a Pecha Berry, and saves his birdy companion at the last moment.

OH MY GOD A PIRATE. Ash screams like a girl and sends out his 1hp Pidgey in a moment of mindless panic. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckay, Poochyena used Howl. Thank the shiny guy in the sky. Pidgey, get your bitch ass back in this ball. Rattata. Get the can-opener. This Poochyena has got a hankering for whoop-ass.

HOLY JYNX IN A CORNFIELD AND CHAINS, A WILD ARTICUNO (wingull) APPEARED!i!!!1!!11l1 l ...but it died in a single Headbutt. Damn you Rattata. I knew you were in the top percentile. Ash proceeds to tell everyone about his Rattata. Maybe that's why everyone on...Route 104? wants to battle. Wait, 104? I already got Growlithe here on the other side of the woods, so I couldn't have got that Articuno anyway. What a relief. I nearly violated the arbitrary OCD compulsions that my overwhelming psychological issues have created. That would have been awful.

Ash eventually reaches Rustboro with a 1hp Pidgey, napping Bulbasaur, and kickass top percentile Rattata out of Headbutt PP after applying a top percentile beatdown to motherfucking Magikarp. Surviving by the skin of his teeth and accidents. Ash Babysniffing Ketchum, ladies and gentlemen. You can't get this good if you try.

Rattata is at level 11, Bulbasaur level 9, and Pidgey level 12.

Bulbasaur spamabsorbs a billion Geodude and one Nosepass at the gym, not even stopping for a single shampoo. What a boss. Ash still hates him, though. Green pokemon are for girls. This little adventure raises him six levels in five minutes, and leaves Bulbasaur at level 25. Hoo-ee.

Lucky ducky Ash manages to snag himself the mother of all bug Pokemon. An amazing Scyther!

SCYTHER: Level 6
​

The adrenaline rush of finding a new friend makes Pidgey learn Wing fuckshitup Attack and become Ash's most powerful Pokepal at level fifteen before leaving Route 116. Rattata gets a measly one level. Ooohhh, Rattata. Can you feel your bond with Ash slipping? Be careful, or you may end up in the rucksack with Bulbasaur.

Passing by an old man who smells like salt and vinegar potato chips, Ash runs inside the huge mountain and finds a mysterious pink blobby pokemon. Naturally, he catches it with a cunningly placed snare trap, and later forces it inside a Pokeball. He can't identify it for a while, wondering if it's a Clefairy or Jigglypuff, but then he pulls its ears, it gets way mad, and makes so much noise that it has to be a Mankey.

MANKEY: Level 8
​

Only one space left in the team. We're nearly a whole family. Big love guys. Except for you, Bulbasaur. You're a faggot.

Inside the tunnel, Ash finds an Articuno (Wingull) trying to elope with a Growlithe (Poochyena), and some pervy pirate dude watching them fuck. He rises to white knight the Pokemon in love and throws a Bible at the pirate. Unfortunately the righteous indignation sets his aim a little off, and he hits the Growlithe. Pigey is forced to host a OHKO bitchslap intervention. Ash brings the mourning Articuno to the crispy old man outside, who promises to teach the Pokemon to love again. He licks his lips a lot while he says this, so Ash offers him a tasty drink of shampoo. He must have been thirsty or something.

Afterwards, Ash gets arrested for selling Pokemon into the sex slavery trade. Because he's a minor, he's released on probation, but gets electronically tagged and must periodically check in with his probation worker, Steven Stone, who is coincidentally the son of the local police chief.

The mental health nurse assisting Ash's mother in caring for him turns up in Rustboro looking for him. Ash is overcome with terror. Having run away from home with a stolen Treeko, and not actually being on a journey to become a Pokemon Master in Kanto, he's in quite a bit of trouble back home. Nurse May calls Ash's mother to come pick them up. While she's distracted on the phone, Ash beats her up and takes her money.

She burns the fuck out of his Pokemon with a police-grade tazer. They come away with second-degree burns similar to a Torchic embering them all up. It burns away the weaker, softer feathers on Pidgey's exterior and levels the tweetwit up to 16. Fuck yeah, Wing Attack is even more powerful now.

He escapes to hide out with his brother-in-crime, the rapacious old man. Ash finds the poor fellow struggling to catch the sexy Articuno, which has somehow escaped its bonds. The ten year old Pokemon trafficking pimp restrains the Articuno while the old guy gets his funk on. Ash doesn't really understand what happens next, but the old man grunts a lot, gets sweaty, and strokes the Articuno's head a lot, murmuring "Peeko" to it. Ash thinks that's a weird thing to call an Articuno, but doesn't object because Peekochu is his favourite Pokemon, and he knows that he'd probably pretend that an Articuno was a Peekochu if he had managed to catch one too.

By the time that the authorities appear at the old guy's door, the dynamic duo and their respective bird Pokemon have gone on a fishing trip.

They stop for coffee in Dewford, but Ash gets lost looking for the bathroom and shits in the gym. All the other trainers laugh at him, so he and Pidgey lash out in a massive tantrum and massacre them all. It takes a lot of shampoo to get the bloodstains out. Four whole bottles, Ash's whole supply, get used up between him and Pidgey. Pidgey gets superstrong and superclean at level 19, and for the first time since beginning his adventure, Ash has clean hair. The pubic lice are still nibbling away, though. The clarity of thought that comes with clean silky locks allows him to realize that he's been neglecting his other Pokemon a bit, since Pidgey is such a motherfucker, so he unleashes Scyther on some unsuspecting Fishermen and their Magikarp. Rattata helps out on the Tentacool. They both go up a level, to 7 and 13 respectively.

Unfortunately, one of the fishermen starts talking about going to the bathroom, which brings up painful recent memories for Ash, so the battling is put to a stop. He hides shamefully in a cave and cries. A passing hiker gives him a Flash in an attempt to cheer him up. It works so well that Ash's sluttiest Pokemon, Bulbasaur, memorizes the technique in the hopes that it'll make his trainer love him once more.

Session end team:

Pidgey the Taillow, level 19
Bulbasaur the Treeko, level 15
Rattata the Zigzagoon, level 13
Mankey the Whismur, level 8
Scyther the Nincada, level 7

Death count: one.
Growlithe the Poochyena, level 5

Shampoo Potions used: 8

 

So, if you're Ash Ketchum then can we expect you to lose to every Gym Leader at least once?

 

That would be an absolute cunt of Nuzlocke Run.