Read the two chapters of Harry Potter and the Ashes of Nurmengard and I have to admit, it has my attention. One thing that is weird is how fast the pacing is. It somehow manages to work, but in 2 chapters he's gone shopping at Diagon Alley, gone to Hogwarts, and come back home.

 

I must say that I am feeling uncomfortable with Harry Potter and the Ashes of Nurmengard.

Since we are told with the fictional history books that Harry will become some sort of leader of the purist faction, I don't see the point of reading further. I have not interest in reading a story with a racist Harry, even if I found myself enjoying the rest of the story.

It's a shame really, because I would have read a story with Harry fighting or at least trying to overcome his hate of Muggle. Even more so since here the fear isn't irrational or unfounded.

Sadly he went for another angle, in which I am not interested.

edit: I feel the need to share the answer to my review since I believe it clears some presumptions about the story.

I'll just add that I have in noway accused him of being racist.

 

Read Harry Potter and the Ashes of Nurmengard. So far it's too short to judge really. Personally I liked the time skips mentioned above: we are shown the key events only, and the useless 11-years olds drama-filler is thankfully omitted. I regret that Harry's experience of venturing into the Muggle world is told from his memory, I would have liked more immersion, especially considering that this event is the very foundation of both this story and Harry's character.

So I have arrived at the point that I wanted to make with this post. Harry Potter is what the Muggles made him to be. He doesn't act irrationally, and doesn't break suspension of disbelief, and don't see any racism from his part. He is afraid of what the Muggles can do, as he well should be because it's common sense.

I like allegories so I will make one here. Take, for example, people carrying guns. They pose real threat that a rational person cannot ignore. That doesn't mean that all people carrying guns are evil. In fact that is my belief that every person is inherently good. But people in crowds act not as goodly as good people do, nor do they act goodly in extreme situations and stress. More even, some people carrying guns are gangsters and they will shoot me and rob me. In turn, I hate the gangsters with all my heart. I don't hate people carrying guns in general, but I am wary, and as the saying goes, assume the best but prepare for the worst. I don't have solutions and don't know if there are any, but I definitely won't just burrow my head into the ground thinking that the threat will disappear.

Returning back to the context of the story. If I apply the pattern of behaviour I've described, to Harry Potter of this story - will that make him a racist?

Edit: wanted to add that this story brings out a beautiful aspect: some magicals are afraid of muggles (as they should be), while some muggles are afraid of magicals (as they should be). The greater is the number of such people, the more this stand-off starts to resemble a bomb about to go off. I definitely would like to see which routes this conflict could go in the story.

 

I think I would've preferred HP and the Ashes of Nurmengard to start post-Hogwarts like Sesc said. It would have eliminated a lot of unnecessary stuff. The idea of a revolutionary Harry interests me just because it's something I've never seen before but think there's great potential for given the state of wizarding society (though, admittedly, I generally imagine him to be leading a pro-muggle born revolution not an anti-muggle one).

I dislike how one incident has formed Harry's opinion of muggles, especially since he knows his mother was raised by a pair of muggles that, presumably, loved and cared for her. I think that the author should have used that one incident, combined with meeting the Dursleys, as the starting point for a slow descent into an anti-muggle stance. I think, however, the author was trying to rush into the story and didn't have the patience to show something like that.

That said, I'll be keeping an eye on the story to see where it goes.

 

I disagree. Allegorically speaking, when you get burned by open fire for the first time, you don't stick your fingers into it again. You don't develop this reflex slowly over time, you get it immediately.

---------- Post automerged at 14:12 ---------- Previous post was at 14:03 ----------

Second, you are ignoring the second incident that happened later that day. His father showed real poor judgement in having that discussion with an impressionable kid.

 

One traumatic experience can be enough to cause a lot of issues down the track. He's also educated enough to know that muggles can be powerful enough to be a threat.

I'm hoping that as Harry gets older he gets other reasons to obviously become an enemy of Muggles. As opposed to blind and irrational fear caused by a single experience, maybe he goes through more experiences, or realizes that the Wizarding World is at the only point where it'll have a chance to win a fight with Muggles.

If it's done well enough, I'll have no problem with it. I usually don't like reading a villainous main character - but at least he's not being a bigot like in many similar fics.

 

I think it wouldn't be too far of a stretch if it was Tom Riddle, who influenced Harry through his passionate speeches etc.

Story updated btw.

 

Chapter three of: Ashes of Nurmengard is out and I have to say that I'm really enjoying the story.

The portrayal of Politician!Tom is well done. You really get a feel of the character through the articles and here-say.

On the issue of starting during Hogwarts. I like it as is, rather than giving us the information in truly info dumpish fashion we get to see how politics mold Harry and the possibilities of advanced magic is always enticing.

 

Something I'm following for some time now:

ff.net

It starts of quite good, but turns into a guilty pleasure fic in later chapters. Good for wasting some time if you are interested in an unusual AU.

 

I'm posting it in this section instead of in For Review for a few reasons:
First, it's too slow-paced. It doesn't feel like there's enough going on to fill over 300k words.
Second, the reveal in the last chapter.

On the plus side, the writing is very good - in fact, it's remarkably similar to Rowling's actual style. The characterizations are also solid. The summary has nothing to do with the major plot points in the story, really. It's explicitly AU, being written after DH came out. Some story details that may seem "obvious" are in fact not, since they don't necessarily conform to canon.

Overall a good read if you're patient and have some time to spare.

 

T3t: what's Harry like in the fic? Pathetic? Canon level of averageness? Skilled? Super?

 

Title: Stop All The Clocks

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6884267/1/Stop_All_The_Clocks

The good: So, you want a story storyline that you haven't read before? Yeah, this is probably it, at least in the details. The writing is pretty good overall, though every now and then it may stray into the melodramatic.

Ron is written very fairly, and well.

Why I Didn't Recommend the Fic: There are minor things like the way tags are utilized that detract from the story and that changes in POV are done without any kind of dividing line (just a formatting issue, but it still is a bit jarring).

The second is the fact that there are no places to breathe in the story. It's dark, darker, and darkest, making it a very heavy read.

Specifics:

Nine chapters, and it's marked as complete.

Only 13,811 words. But it works here because of the material.

Summary:

The Battle of Hogwarts ended in an unthinkable nightmare. The forces of right are decimated, leaving only two to carry on the fight against the evil of Lord Voldemort. Trapped inside their dying country, Ron and Hermione are the Light's last hope.

 

The american OC is the writer's SI and he can't write any kind of tension. It's simply bland and boring.

 

Harry Potter: Game of the Year Edition » reviews Harry Potter dies in the graveyard of Little Hangleton. GAME OVER. Start new game? Concept borrowed from Majin Hentai X and Chibi-Reaper.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,476 - Reviews: 190 - Updated: 8-15-12 - Published: 4-23-12 - Harry P.

Good for cheap laughs.

 

Huh, I knew that story as a one shot, and it was fun, but nothing more. Now, there's four chapters, which carry some of the worst cliches, but put in the perspective of the whole idea, the use of them kind of makes sense.

So yeah, somewhat average, but funny.

 

Pro-tip, shithead: 'Round here we link to the FIRST chapter. Goddammit.

 

LMAO - http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6884267/1/Stop_All_The_Clocks

 

Author: Eilyfe PM
When Hermione and Ron abandon him after the Goblet spew out his name Harry learns that sometimes he just has to rely on himself. In the process of immersing himself in ancient Magicks, steadily guided by the Headmasters experienced hands, he discovers a well of power that will aid him against all his adversaries. GoF, Good Dumbledore, M-Rated for safety measure.
Rated: Fiction M - English - Harry P. & Albus D. - Chapters: 5 - Words: 41,484 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 187 - Follows: 303 - Updated: 08-27-12 - Published: 07-09-12 - id: 8303194

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8303194/1/Magicks_of_the_Arcane

The premise of this story isn't original; Harry is alone after his name comes out of the Goblet of Fire, realizes that he's probably going to die unless something happens, then starts training. If you want something completely original this isn't really that story, however the execution is done in a way that I haven't really minded the cliches and the author is competent.