Yours is a post deserving of a rimshot... either sincere or ironic; you decide.

 

^"I'm Ann Romney, and I approved this message."

I was gonna bitch that some fucktard brought up religion but if you think about it, it's technically fanfiction too. Carry on.

The thing about Platonic Fire is that, well, I'm just not that into it.

Ah, I get it now. Making your OOC!Harry or, worse, your self-insert OC an 'Elemental' is just another word for Super!Harry or super-self-insert-insert. And we all know the purpose of those, right? They're all but exclusively power-fantasies where the protagonist turns the school on its ear and casually becomes the most popular person there within an hour of arrival.

This all happens either just before or just after the self-insert or w/e curb-stomps *either* Draco *or* Ron while dressing down McG and D'dore in front of the entire student body and faculty and maybe Rita Skeeter, somehow looking "waifish" and "worldly" and "adorable" and "dangerous" all at once.

And I'm pretty certain that the majority of these stories have the author OC being able to control these wondrous 'elements' just "instinctively," or some shit. It's always "I can't really explain it, y'know? I just reach down and feel my magic and imagine what I want to happen." How very convenient. No silly wand required, of course.

I could probably stomach some elemental story if it took some fucking work on their part. If it was fucking difficult and draining to learn, and hard to maintain but worth it to have as a back-up plan in case the person's wand was lost. But no, it's forever and always nothing more than a fucking copout to allow the self-insert to bypass things like 'books,' 'learning,' 'practice,' 'failure,' and anything resembling 'conflict.'

What pretty much none of these clowns understand is that your Protagonist is supposed to be the Underdog, not the Smug, Overpowered Douchebag. The 'Hero' is supposed to have trials and shitty circumstances, not an MMA cage fighter who shows up for every fight only too happy to find his opponent is an asthmatic Girl Scout.

Of course there might be exceptions - Rustyred's Ectomancer comes to mind as the perfect example but I doubt she'd stoop to calling her Harry an 'Elemental.' Just reading that word in my head is pissing me off, though 'Elementalist' manages to sound even *more* retarded.

 

Harry Potter and the Halfblood Auror just got updated. The latest chapter was actually really good. I'm think at this point the story is probably library-worthy.

 

Believe me, they're faster than they look.

 

Spend a lot of time chasing girl scouts, do you?

 

If you know a better way to get cookies, I'd like to hear it.

 

I heard he ate a brownie once...

 

Slightly to a previous topic, on elementals. I've read exactly one readable story about it.

It was, I think, When The Future Died
And it was more of a Elemental than Elementalist, yet, most probably the best description would be a mixture of the two.
There's a strange issue of renaming Harry, and other things, but all in all I remember having fun while reading it.
~3.5/5, I guess, but it had been a while since I read it.
A textbook example of Almost Recommendable.


p.s. Also, there's a drabble here ;D

 

Interesting story, but it has almost all the pitfalls that we've discussed about Elemental powers before. That said, decently written for a high school student, though the 2 year drought of updates says that it will never get finished.

I'd give it a 2/5, if only because the annoying spelling and grammar mistakes that littered the story. He either needs a better Beta, or he needs to learn how to review his work.

 

Here is another well written story focused on The Most Ancient and Noble House of Black.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7151242/1/The-Forgotten

'The Forgotten' by Blackened Wasteland. Though the story hasn't been updated recently, it's a good read.

I really enjoyed reading her works.

 

The premise to the start of this story was very weak. "Consummation wards"? However, the writing is well done, and interesting. Definitely a 3/5.

 

I didn't expect the murder of Hartsfield coming. Also, Tory's perspective was well written.

 

I'd like to correct myself:

Rise of the Fourth Marauder has been updated with two very long chapters, and it's definitely more than a guilty pleasure fic now. The humour can be over the top at times, but the story as a whole is good entertainment.

3/5

 

The fourth Marauder seemingly has interesting intentions at first, falls into a couple of pitfalls early on, and reeks of stupid interactions.

In the end, I was reading hoping to read something good in the latest two chapters, yet found something that was just different from the rest. Not too much different, though.

Also, the fic left me with a bad taste in my mouth.
2/5 at best.

Unless you really enjoy the focus of fifteen year old boy who drools over each nearby pair of tits, and not only that, the narrative really focuses on all the drooling.
And there's a training montage.

I don't really know if the few ideas are worth the pain.

 

Is is more of an Eye of the Tiger or Bring Me Back to Life training montage?

:banana:

 

Dunno, but it ends not with a staircase, but with Remus whipping Pettigrew bloody.

 

More, Remus puncturing his internal organs with a whip than "whipping Pettigrew bloody". It was moderately disgusting and treated waaaaaaaaaaaaaay to lightly.

 

Harry Potter and the Puppet of Time: Features a reformed Draco Malfoy, a manipulative Dumbledore and adopted Luna Lovegood.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7733386/1/

This is the author's side project and thus, updates are infrequent. I'd give it a 3/5.