Only that they seem to be on the losing end.

Anyway, one big problem I have with Harry Potter and the Puppet of Time, is children act as adults there.

Typical grammar problems are as in the following example:

Otherwise, it's 4/5. Definitely worth reading.

I should probably mention that the story is not told from Harry's POV. It mainly follows Draco and his grandfather as they struggle to put the world to rights. For Abraxas Malfoy it's a race against his dwindling health, the general idiocy of the younger population, and against Dumbledore's wide-spread powers. The good thing is that Abraxas realises that the pureblood society goes to dogs due to the wrong decisions they made when they were young, that it's their own damn fault.

Draco has future memories given to him by his older self. There are other cliches that you can expect. The 9th chapter almost concludes the Chamber of Secrets business and the second year at Hogwarts.

It is a bit boring, but there's enough good ideas thrown in, like the phantasmagoricon, the simulacrum, moonsilver cauldrons, the family heart stone, family-based magic, different ways to secure immortality, scrying, the definitive study on increase of the magical strength of a bloodline when marrying only other magicals (and decline of sanity), Magical Britain and magical Europe as the third-world countries. I can go on, but then I will have to put spoiler tags in.

 

Not even Draco sucking Harry's cock?

 

Time for a change of subject from discussing the merits of any fic that mohan(insertnumbers) recs.

I have an almost rec!

Harrison Potter Stephens by Fyreheart reviews
Someone saw Harry Potter dropped off on a doorstep and refused to allow that to happen. Instead, he was adopted by a magical family, a family very different than what wizarding society was used to. Note: the Bewitched timeline was moved forward to fit into the Harry Potter universe.
Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18,122 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 62 - Published: 8-6-12 - Complete

Inspired by Clell65619's Harry Potter's Harry Potter and the Elder Sect, this oneshot covers the entirety of Harry's interaction with wand-wizards and Hogwarts. The story shouldn't be taken too seriously and is enjoyable for the fact that the author didn't go crazy trying to fit an elder sect Harry into being a model Hogwarts student. To me, the interactions between all characters seemed more or less natural.

A decent, complete read.

 

Yeah. I read Harry Potter and the Elder Sect. This story is somewhat similar to that. The only thing that bothered me was Dumbledore's reaction to Snape's treatment of Harry Potter. I had a feeling that that part could use a bit of polishing.

A very good find. I'd give it a 3.5/5.

Anyway, here is another story I found, which is worth a read. The author is a professional in Netherlands.

Title: Wisdom of a Seer.
Link:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8020828/1/

Summary:About a week before halloween James decides to consult a real seer about the prophecy. This has some interesting results an a very different timeline.

The start was very interesting. Although some chapters are ridiculously small, it's a well-written story. It currently is in Harry's second year and the word count is 132k+.

Voldemort in this story returns to his body in 1992 itself. You decide if its library material or not. It's 3/5 for me.

 

Meanwhile, in the real world, pick bolded and underlined words on one side of the word "Harry" or pick the other side, but you can't have both, as uncouth and disrespectful people rarely make it very far in politics, and that's why, to me, this sounds horrible.

 

Well, different people have different tastes. Let's continue with the thread.

Rise of Wizards by Teufel1987. He was a DLP member once, but his account is inactive for a while.

The story has lots and lots of cliches and hence, don't point out the obvious. A realistic take on a dark, manipulative Harry Potter. There is no character bashing involved and it's over 300k in word count. A good read if you need to waste a few hours. I'd give it a 3/5.

His other story, Black Vengeance is a very well written story with quite a few original ideas.

Here are the links:

Rise of Wizards: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6254783/1/

Black Vengeance:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7254667/1/Black-Vengeance

If you find ROW boring, read Black Vengeance. It's about a Sirius Black who doesn't forgive and is out for revenge.

 

You don't call the Hermione/Ron plot not bashing? They were moved to the side for no apparent reason for most of the story and shortly before the Riddle situation is resolved he pulls the False/Paid-Friends card to deliver some explanation.
The main crime of the story is that there's *no* character in that story likable or relatable at all and Harry is completely OC and soulless. I don't call that a realistic take on a dark, manipulative version of Harry at all.

It's sadly a bland bore.

 

Well, try Black Vengeance. If you don't like that, I'm signing off. I am out of stories to post in this thread.

 

Thank god for that.

 

Are you kidding? It's usually the other way around, with Harry also being so submissive that someone has to remind him to make his synapses fire because, god knows, he lacks the gumption to do it without someone's permission. So, of course, fifteen-year-old sex god and masterfully skillful dom, Draco, is perfect for the job.

Compared to that thousands-strong pile of dreck, Draco sucking Harry off is like... Hugo award material. :facepalm

 

lolz have been had over the last couple pages. Thanks bye.

 

Ummm... whats the difference between this and canon?

I had a look and it seems to be just a "What if Pettigrew was captured at the end of third year?" story, together with "What if the pure-bloods are right about everything?". The writing's not bad, but the original ideas are lacking. Or maybe I've read too much fanfic and have seen most of it before.

The main problem is that there is no conflict. There is no antagonist, no big danger, nothing. Which would be fine if it was a tragedy about how Sirius was horribly damaged by Azkaban and causes the wizarding world to go to hell because he cannot admit he's wrong. But it is really just Sirius getting his own way except for a three or four paragraph rant that he's lost virility and fertility (but which doesn't really affect the plot at all).

 

ROW and Black Vengeance were both readable at some level and, given the scant pickings nowadays for newer HP fanfiction, Teufel1987 is a passable writer. I thought the final battle between Harry and Voldemort in the former was actually quite good and had some creative moments, but that other parts of the story were off and when taken as a whole, the story wasn't great. The bashing was tiresome and uninspired in spots, though I guess one could argue it wasn't so far off of Hermione's character in HBP canon as to be a big stretch. Were this written in 2006, it might have been very good; not so in 2012, when we've seen all these clichés too many times. There are a few good bits--e.g., the scene starting the Harry/Draco conspiracy--but they don't make up for lazy writing otherwise.

Of course, much this critique was covered in the story's actual thread. It's somewhat bad form to recommend stories here that have already been put up for review.

@Immet: Black Vengeance has a much more ruthless Sirius than canon. It's not the most accomplished story in the world, but suitable if you don't mind reading what amounts to a bland curb-stomp where the central character doesn't change much (if at all) or have many redeeming qualities in the end. I found the ending to be a bit amusing, though not enough to make this anywhere close to a "Recommended" story. Stories with static characters don't work in a novel format; better would have been if it were about half the length and the plot crafted more carefully.

 

Maybe ... Maybe I'm remembering a different character, but wasn't Sirius already fairly ruthless? I mean, he was willing to kill a dude he was friends with his entire childhood.

 

Sirius meant to kill Peter back in '81 - of course he was gonna kill him in PoA. He'd done his waiting! Twelve years of it! In Azkaban! <-- remember?

What most people forget is that Remus was also quite ready and willing to kill Peter there in the Shack. Only Harry's well-meaning but ultimately misplaced intervention kept Both of them from murdering Pettigrew.


I've often thought that Sirius and Remus gave up killing Peter far too easily. Yes, it's a YA book etc. but the rationale for acquiescing to Harry's wishes - namely, that the injury was mainly to Harry - is weak and looks at it only from the YA perspective. Remus and in particular Sirius would and should have seen it from the POV of Friends, not Parents/Kids, and let's be honest - the two of them were at least as betrayed as Harry.


Not that Harry has no standing in the dispute - its just that them deferring to him after all they've been thru is, in my opinion, too convenient.

 

The only difference between canon Sirius and Black Vengeance Sirius is that in Black Vengeance Sirius blames Dumbledore and Remus as well. Thats it.

The rest is wanking over pureblood ideals, corporal punishment and the Black family having blackmail material on everyone and rituals that let Sirius control Voldemort.

 

Meh. Answer a new guy's question and get the "you're so wrong I'll go boldface on your ass" treatment.

I thought Sirius came off as more bitter and nasty than we saw in canon, as evinced by the ending, his beating of Harry, his treatment of Snape and Lupin, etc. In canon, he allowed his passion for killing Peter to be swayed by Harry's words, but I somehow doubt this Sirius would be willing to do the same. But whatever. I'll concede the point because I didn't think enough of the story for it to matter and I certainly didn't intend to start an argument over how an entirely forgettable Sirius in an average (at best) story is or isn't like canon.

 

Infertility due to dementor exposure is the new Flavor-of-The-Month favorite way to have Harry be the official "Head of the Black family/Lord Black", even with Sirius still alive and kicking. Can't be head of the family if you can't continue the family.

As purebloods, you have to be discerning when you pick your Black Heads.

Be sure to remember where you were when this new cliché was born.

Or, you know, don't... :|

Hats off, though, to the first person to do think of it: Everyone else is just a parrot; And, not even one of the colorful or smart ones, either.

Lupin was just hoping if he joined in with the group activity everyone would forget about how he spent more than a decade being James and Sirius's second worst best friend behind Pettigrew, by never trying to determine Sirius's innocence for himself, and never checking up on James's first and only child.

"Soooo... I helped gut Peter; that's cool, right? Anything else- Well, anything else is just bygones. 'S'what I think, anyway... Chocolate?"

I'd mention that his wolf form had a vagina instead of dangly bits (true story), but that would be disparaging toward the women of the HP world, most of whom had more loyalty, backbone, and conviction than Remus, regardless of which side they were fighting on.

Hell, McGonagall might have had her head too far up Dumbledore's knackwurst-stretched ass to have an idea of her own, didn't listen to her students, and gave piss-poor advice, but at least she wasn't wishy-washy about any of it.

Remus couldn't stand firm if he were mainlining Viagra and spray starch.

 

You've... quite a gift for descriptors, Warlocke. I never know what I'm going to read in one of your posts, just certain it won't fail to produce a vivid mental image.

I can't decide if I think you're the Gio of the HP side or if he's the Warlocke of the Politics side. Or rather, if he's the knackwurst-stretched Warlocke of the Politics side...