I read up to chapter 5 of FateProphecy Break. It wasn't a story so much as an assembly of cliches.

 

I might have been blinded by the realization that nasuverse magic/prana mechanics are awesome, but is it really that much worse than the average almost recommendable?

 

Took me ages to realise that was a Fate/stay fic - I was imagining a crossover with Archer, which would (well, could) be unbelievably awesome. As for the actual fic linked, I read/skimmed the first five chapters and it's one I've read dozens of times before except with Fate/stay elements. Not unreadable though.

 

Pear shaped is alright I guess, the story probably would be better or at least make more since if the author hadn't messed with the hp timeline though.

 

Not really. It belongs here.

The technical quality of the writing is okay. The characters are cardboard and sometimes unintentional caricatures of themselves. I blame that on the cliches though. The story seems to hit every bad Harry Potter cliche it possibly can. Regarding the characterisations: it's as though the author has never read Harry Potter, just fanfiction. All of the characters are exaggerated indie-Harry interpretations of the characters, over-done almost to the point of parody.

Harry himself has an insane amount of foreknowledge of things he couldn't possibly know. He makes lots of guesses about characters and future events which are all correct. It feels like a self-insert fixit story.

There were a lot of plot holes in the five chapters I read. They stem from the author just not giving a fuck.

The concept was okay. The writing was okay. The lazy plot holes, irrelevant plot, empty characters, and more cliches than I've ever seen, were what pulled the story down. I have no doubt that if the author was a DLP member we'd have cured at least three out of four of those problems, making the story awesome. We could do with some good HP/Nasuverse crossovers. I think we've only got one or two.

 

The Havoc side of the Force
Author: Tsu Doh Nimh PM
I have a singularly impressive talent for messing up the plans of very powerful people - both good and evil. Somehow, I'm always just in the right place at exactly the wrong time. What can I say? It's a gift.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Fantasy/Mystery - Anakin Skywalker & Harry P. - Chapters: 3 - Words: 14,358 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 09-16-12 - Published: 09-06-12 - id: 8501689

Only 3 chapters yet so there isn't much plot to see if it falls into the usual Star Wars crossover traps but the way he writes Harry and describes the environment shows real promise. Harry's personality has a touch of the serious side of "A Black Comedy" and Dresden crossovers.
It's his second story and the first one has 192k words. So there's reasonable hope this gets more chapters.

 

Ah, the old 'excerpt from a book of magic' opening. I don't think I've seen that one in quite some time, and this one is ok, mostly because there's no feeble attempt at 'ye olde' English.

Two paragraphs in and we have the standard 'Ron and Hermione unintentionally gimped Harry' explanation for why adult Harry is actually not shit at magic after all. Tired, but inoffensive I suppose.

Then there's some belittling of purebloods (stupid and inbred), the Ministry/Wizengamot (stupid and corrupt) and the Wizarding World in general (stupid and stupid) which is becoming more and more a pet peeve of mine. Yes it's essentially canon that every single character is terminally stupid but the best stories tend to change that. Harry and Ron scamming former Death Eaters is a nice idea but would have been better if the author had thought up a cleverer scheme that was fooling smarter victims.

Anyway the author establishes a super bounty hunter/thief Harry who wears basilisk hide armour and can defeat and steal from anyone he wants because he's awesome and everyone else is incompetent and stupid.

That lot is just the lead in to the crossover though, and overall I actually quite like the story. It has an engaging and punchy narrative voice, good spelling and grammar and the descriptive style fits the first person perspective and conveyed Harry's experience of turning up in the Star Wars universe really well. The spider-shopkeeper pretty much exploded my canon-radar though (having said that Star Wars has so much bloat - and so much of it utter trash - that it probably exists after all).

If the supporting character introduced in chapter three is who I assume it is, and the author can write him well then this could really go to some fun, action-packed and yes, slightly black comedy-esque places.

 

LOL.

I've never watched Archer (though I did watch Frisky Dingo, which I'd consider an Archer primer), but that was still my first thought when I saw "Archer-Harry team".

My second thought was that a crack pipe was probably somehow involved... but I remembered the HP-Venture Bros idea I was toying with and decided that you definitely don't need drugs to come up with fic that reads like a smack-fueled descent into madness.

 

The opening is barely readable, but once it gets to the SW universe it becomes quite enjoyable. I wish there was a bit more though.

 

Title: Harry Potter and the Dark Phoenix
Author: Fiori75
Pairing: H/HG
Rating: T
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5077096...ark-Phoenix]Harry Potter and the Dark Phoenix
Story Summary:
"When Shadow, Light and Water unite in their great fight, Earth and also Fire will stand then on their right." That's what he said. After Voldemorts rise to power, everything changed. However... how many months can fit into four weeks? Harry found out the summer after his fourth year and finally took matters into his own hands which leads to an entirely different fifth year.

---

I've only read about a third, so consider this a disclaimer if it suddenly turns to shit near the end.

Cons: The fangirlishness of the writing in places (i.e. in-depth descriptions of how omfgsexy characters and their costumes are)... A bunch of annoying fanon terms in the dialogue ("Cub", "Pup", "Light side", Marauder names)... actually cheesy fanon pollution in general. Some of the devices that establish the plot are pretty lazy. Plus H/Hr and some hints of Severitus, which I don't personally have an intrinsic problem with, but might be enough to turn off DLPers.

Pros: Fun, unabashedly Super!Harry and interesting uses of magic. Writing is fairly decent from a technical standpoint and the imagery is colorful. Harry is smarter and his personality is more assertive than canon, without being a demigod or total prick. Cool Dumbledore. Harry lamely flirting with "Mione" is hilarious, though that may be unintentional.

So, this fic is slightly below average by DLP library standards, but almost a gem compared to the FF.net cesspit. Apparently there is a sequel but I know nothing about it. If you have some time to kill it's worth a read.

 

First, the link is to the second chapter.
Second, by the description you gave us, "slightly below average" seems like a pretty generous evaluation.

The first chapter is weird. We have mentions of time travel training, badly written letters, overuse of certain words (Personally I'm not as bothered by a stray 'pup', but putting too many of them in one place is bad.) The overuse of everything cliche, that is bordering on the edge of crime, can be seen from this letter in the first chapter.

Also, we have the best supportive line ever written in yet another letter:

I wanted to say that all it lacks to be a standard cliche story was a shopping trip, but it's on the second chapter. With Fleur and Draco of all people. As Harry's friends.

In what universe is this story a good one?

 

It actually gets worse when pretty much everyone has a phoenix animagus form, only they are not the standard firebird type, but "shadow" and "lightning" variety IIRC. And then they get re-sorted for some reason I don't remember and form a new "phoenix" house...

 

Really? Fuck that shit. There is already a thunderbird in cryptozoology. It's a fuck-off big bird that is nearly the size of a roc.

Mythology is awesome. The idea of flame as death and renewal has traction and works well. From forest fires being needed for new growth, to the promethean fire as civilisation, to fire as conflict and change/rebirth in conflict, fire is embedded in our history.

But 'shadow'? Shadow as life? Shadow as renewal and eternal life? Fuck you very much.

 

There's a new chapter and he keeps the quality. The guesses here about the sidekick were accurate.

 

The Havoc side of the Force
Author: Tsu Doh Nimh I have a singularly impressive talent for messing up the plans of very powerful people - both good and evil. Somehow, I'm always just in the right place at exactly the wrong time. What can I say? It's a gift.
Rated: T Chapters: 4 - Words: 18,065

Something new to keep an eye on. A HP/ Star Wars cross that doesn't, as of yet, suck. I doubt it will be acceptable for review because a few things being WTF.

The Character listing is Harry/Anakin, but it's really going to be Harry/ HK-47 since there wasn't a listing. I haven't seen any obvious grammatical or spelling errors, and it's fairly fast moving.

On the plus side Harry doesn't get there via Veil of Death in the DoM. Harry seems suitably powerful so far. It's still early... I have high hopes.

 

First chapter in, and I'm laughing my ass off. The fate of the Malfoys, especially.

Good find.

Also, when's your story going to be updated, Heather?

 

I'm don't know how that works, but I will tell you want I do know:

1) I do not want to know.
2) That author needs a damned skullfuck with a jackhammer.
3) This is the only reaction to the entire thing I have:



But seriously though: How the hell... What? Are they gonna get a set of Aratech rifles and go assassining in the morning and enjoy an evening of motor oil and ...force knows what else...

 

:facepalm
It's not a sexual pairing, Vash. Jesus. Those are the main characters.

Potty brain.

 

To be fair, when people see the character listing, they automatically assume it's a romantic pairing - this is because of the system people on FFn typically use for both het and slash.

It's also why I'm probably missing out on a shit-ton of good stories, that have Harry and another male main as the main characters, but not as butt-buddies, that are buried amongst the slash fics.

 

Well maybe if you weren't already a fuckin kinky bitch, I wouldnt make those assumptions! (Also if you hadn't posted it the the traditional pairing format, or at least specified that it wasnt... D