Fixed for the older generation

 

All the likes in the world wouldn't cover it, wordhammer.

 

That scene with Snape cradling Lily's dead body was some bullshit I could have done without in the movie, but thinking about it just now caused another scene to pop into my head, which at least brought a smile to my face.

Snape's there, cradling Lily, when aurors arrive on the scene. They find him with dead bodies and a Dark Mark tattoo on his wrist (no, it hasn't faded yet; he's not one of those Transformers with the heat activated Decepticon symbol), and assume the worst.

Because Snape is a dick.

So they encircle him and set about beating him with truncheons, in a comically gratuitous fashion, while shouting accusations. Snape tries to cry out something about losing his 'one true love' and catches a truncheon in his yellow teeth.

When they finally stop for a breather, one shouts out, "Hey, I think the sicko was fixing to have it off with her corpse!" and so they all start kicking him and whaling on him with truncheons again, all the while speculating out loud on whether they're actually called 'death eaters' because they're closet necrophiliacs.

Why would an auror even need a truncheon? They wouldn't; it's just funnier than using a spell. See, some shit is just funnier the muggle way.

The word, alone, is funny: Truncheon...

Oh, and Yakkety Sax should be incorporated at the end, somehow... Yeah, that's the ticket.

That scene is what flashed through my mind in the few milliseconds it took to go from reading Philo Vance's post, to contemplating my Toradora wallpaper... because the brain is a marvelous and fucked up thing. And, it made me grin, also because the brain is a marvelous and fucked up thing.

 

Actually, I have a more serious AU with the concept.
Granted, it may not be good, but also not humorous.

Snape is on the scene, as in the movie, the Dark Lord is defeated, Potters are dead and Harry has a scar.

To prevent the boy from getting too much fame, Snape lies to the world and tells people that HE killed the Dark Lord.

Boom, we just prevented the world from knowing that Harry is the Boy-Who-Lived,
which will be a great advantage to him, he won't have to deal with all the fame.
And the scar on Harry's head? Meh, he can explain it as a wound from a stray curse.

Snape meanwhile will be living a somewhat better life among the wizards, because the guy who killed Voldemort is going to be having a lot of friends suddenly.
I understand though that this ends his spy career (or does it?).

 

Ooh random plot bunny:

When Harry is knocked unconscious after his encounter with Voldemort at the end of first year, he wakes up in a muggle hospital. Whelp, it turns out his parents are alive! And oh, they are muggles! He is now in an alternate world where...magic doesn't exist (although this point isn't driven home until later in the fic).

The first day goes spiffingly and mostly in confusion/happiness because to his parents, he's just woken up from some long term disease. Ok anyways, they tuck him in at night, kiss him goodnight and he wakes up back in the wizarding world. So he wakes up, this is the hospital scene at the end of PS. Anyways, he mostly thinks it's a dream at this point and this is what Hermione and Ron obviously think when he shares this "dream" of his. The weird part happens when he goes to sleep in the wizarding world and...you guessed it, wakes up back in the other world.

This duality goes on and he keeps it a secret from everyone because he is enjoying his time with his parents and fears someone would break this "curse" on him if it were such a thing. His life in the wizarding world mostly becomes passive as he lives every day waiting to go to sleep. He lets slip in conversation at one point to hermione about his predicament, she gets on his case, he promises her to keep it a secret, etc. Later on things start to heat up in CoS and the wizarding world is now distracting him in the "real" world and here he lets slip at one point to his mother about the wizarding world. She obviously takes him to a psychiatrist but is still supportive.

And then the rest of it is mostly Harry being a lot more...in control of situations because of the support system he has from his parents...the fic ends at the end of chamber of secrets when he is knocked out and wakes up in the "real world" to find the psychiatrist had run MRI's previously (he thought it was just nonsense) and found an operable tumor on his brain. He tries his best to stop his parents from doing anything but they ultimately take him to have surgery and the last thing he remembers is the surgeon putting him to sleep. He wakes up in the hogwarts hospital wing and the nurse tells him that he had been under some sort of long term curse. This is where hermione comes forward about his "dreams" and dumbledore becomes more and more alarmed about the possible implications to his psych from a long-standing possibly dark curse. He orders Snape to brew some potion that deals with this class of curses. Obviously, he doesn't want to have it removed but he is frozen and force fed the potion that knocks him out. And then the fic ends in total darkness.

 

That sounds so wonderfully absurd I'm strongly tempted to write a story about it while trying my very hardest to play the whole thing seriously even though any reasonable reader should be laughing like crazy the moment it starts.

May I do that?

 

And now I'm going to think about reading Awaken Sleeper all over again.


As for the rest of it, it's somewhat interesting.
This concept could actually be used for any crossover too, in sense that he lives in both worlds, but they are fundamentally different, and it would be fun if no powers or skills were transferable - both universes could be only a dream in relation to each other.
There was something similar with Dresden files, transferring to another world knocked Harry out.
There also was a story from Esama (?), that was supposed to be slash at some point but it was abandoned before anything happened (the huge advantage of esama, actually - all xer slash stories are not actually slash cause they all get abandoned before it happens), where either Harry or a Dragon was sleeping at any one moment in both worlds - if one went to sleep, the other fell down, knocked out.
There was also some Naruto crossover, where Harry and Naruto could speak while dreaming, with no other direct interaction. It could have been done better.

So yeah - interesting concept, not too ground breaking, but I'd like to see something like it done good.

 

Assuming he survives the assasination attempts from his former Death Eater pals, Snape could have a better life.

 

I think it would be hilarious if Lockhart of all the people discovered the truth and in exchange for silence Snape would become his BFF for their public appearances. A better life indeed.

 

Well he's Snape, he's no pushover as far as I know.
Also, he would probably get some sort of protection from Dumbledore.

 

And Snape is somehow coerced into adopting Harry as well.

BAM! SITCOM!

 

Titled - Two and a Half Wizards.

 

I would read that in an instant.

Onto my own little plotbunny, I know there's a fair few SG:U watchers here that were like me, a bit dissapointed in the show considering its awesome premise...

But seeing a crossover in the Almost Recommended thread gave me an idea as well.

Harry in OoTP manages to follow after Sirius into the veil, somehow breaking free from Remus' grip and it turns out that the veil is in fact an ancient Stargate, an old one-way prototype. So 15 year old Harry is sort of stuck in travel-mode until the crew from SG:U activate a Stargate on one of the first worlds they visit.

Out they all come and it shuts itself off... only to start up again and spit out Harry Potter, knobbly knees and all. He manages to hide his wand and has to balance his hiding the fact that he's a Wizard while trying to come along to all the worlds in order to find Sirius. Because if Harry was spat out of one of these Stargates he believes that his Godfather must have done the same...


And that's all I got for it atm

 

So... what happens in just about every HP/Stargate crossover ever?

 

A few quick plot ideas:

1. Near the end of DH, Harry agrees to go back to defeat Voldemort. While he does come back, he doesn't come back immediately where Voldemort used the Killing Curse on him. Instead, his body more or less disappears and he reappears 19 years later, in a Britain ruled entirely by Voldemort.

Some ideas associated with this:

- Most of Harry's friends are dead, purged at Hogwarts soon after his death/disappearance. This includes the Weasleys, Hermione, Luna, Neville, etc. However, a large number of half-bloods and purebloods at Hogwarts were allowed to live.
- Before Trelawney dies, she prophesies Harry's return
- There is an Order of the Phoenix, led by Andromeda Black and second-in-commanded by Teddy Lupin
- Muggles are aware of the existence of Wizards, largely thanks to Voldemort, and largely distrust them.
- Britain is basically under Voldemort's rule - think Resistance of Azkaban style of control. His plans include expansion into France and so on and so forth. Both mundane and magical groups in Europe actively oppose him.
- Some potential titles would be "19 Years Later" or "Through King's Cross," or what not.

2. I'd love to see a series of fics detailing Harry Potter's life as an auror. Each book would be a case file of sorts, in a sort of hardboiled P.I. style. I am aware of things like GreenGecko's Resonance series and what not, but that's not quite what I'm looking for.

3. Another take on the Golem!Harry we saw in BajaB's "The Substitute." Some ideas of how I'd like to see someone else approach it differently

- Make Ron not a dick and have him be friends with Harry. Harry did save his sister's life in the second year and I'm not really fond of the whole "Ron is a Death Eater" sort of trope in general.
- Either remove the existence of Jim Potter/Chloris Potter or downplay Harry's interaction with them. I'm not sure why, but I didn't actually like the whole of idea of interacting with them in some sort of positive light at all.
- Harry should have semiregular interactions with Sirius and Remus. He should also have some interaction with James and Lily, but it should be a strained relationship at best. And he should probably trying to minimize any interaction with Avalon!Harry if at all possible.
- I'd like to see the Cup be a Portkey instead of an exploding trophy. Cedric and Harry get to Voldemort like in canon, Cedric dies, ritual occurs. Harry and Voldemort have their duel, but for certain circumstances, Harry is only able to send Cedric's body back to the maze. Things go horribly wrong and Harry barely beats back a running fight against the Death Eaters in the Riddle House and escapes through some means. However, sending back only Cedric's body is widely misinterpreted as Harry having murdered Cedric and he is now instead a man on the run.
- Alternatively, Harry returns with Cedric's body and he is immediately thought to have killed Cedric i.e. "Voldemort's influence got to him, etc, etc." He only makes it out from the clutches of the Ministry thanks to Dumbledore and now he spends most of his time with Sirius.

Basically, a version of the "The Substitute" where Harry doesn't just outright die.

 

I haven't actually read any so I wouldn't know

 

Snape would become addicted to drinking potions, of course.

 

I have an idea about a HP/SG1 crossover that hasn't been done yet (I hope so).

Basically, in the Harry Potter universe it is obvious that Wizards have some measure of control over archaeologist findings, especially tombs with curses.
So it would be logical to assume that when the muggle archaeologists discover the Stargate in Egypt, there are some Curse-Breakers and Obliviators nearby.
Naturally, when they see what the muggles have discovered, they make sure to take it for themselves.
Now, this could go several ways, with the Egypian Ministry taking it, or perhaps Gringotts taking it.
What I have in mind is that while Gringotts takes it, they decide to move it to the UK.
Now, years pass and without the Dial Home Device, the wizards don't have much luck with activating the Stargate.
The First War with Voldemort happens, things go as normally, that is until the Dark Lord's spies learn of the Stargate.
He is curious enough to study it and naturally arranges for it to become his property (steals it).
Since old Tom is a pretty knowledgeable guy, he gets it to work.
Some random Death Eater is sent through and ends up on a Goa'uld-controlled planet.
Voldemort is intrigued and learns more about them as well as about this giant network of planets.
Too bad though, that several weeks later he is 'defeated' by Harry and the kid gets a nice scar.
Still, his Death Eaters have access to the Stargate.
So what do they do?
Why, to escape justice, they escape Earth with their families, while making the gate on our side undetectable.
Fast forward many years to the future, Harry goes to the magical world, though with less people around.
Meanwhile, there is a planet where hundreds are enslaved by the Gods known as Death Eaters, who have truly terrible powers.

That's all I have so far, continue from there.

 

A while back i read a story that had a interesting concept in it, i like to call it magic logic, when two things that are true come in contact magic works around them to fulfill both criteria. (In the fic it was: A potion that clears the spirit of all curse scars and Harry's scar being unremovable without him dying. So through the interaction of both Harry gets popped back to the moment before he gets the curse scar.)

My idea is to apply the same kind of logic to the last battle scene in DH. Harry has died in order to protect everyone from Voldemort, so everyone in the castle is granted the same protection from Voldemort that they were in canon. But this time instead of breaking the law that the killing curse is unblockable, with bullshito shield, similar reaction happens to fulfill the both criteria.

Lets say that the interaction grants everyone luck to just stumble out of the way every time Voldemort cast a spell at them, or something along the same lines. Seeing that something is interfering with the assault Voldemort retreats to outside the castle wards. Laboring under the assumption that everyone in the castle has taken felix felicis, he decides to use a large scale spell to destroy the castle and everyone within it. After all luck has it's limits. The power of the spell is to strong to be deflected and Hogwarts starts fading from existence.(Harry having granted the protection to the castle itself. I know it's bit of a stretch and the castle isn't necessary in the long run, but i just like the idea.) It gets pushed through the wall between realities and appears in an alternate universe. Essentially castle Hogwarts shows up in the same spot of Scottish highlands only in a new universe.

This is a setup for a type of fic we don't see enough Harry Potter vs. [insert universe here]. Only this time it is not Harry alone that travels to a new world he takes every person in Hogwarts with him. Including teachers, aurors, ministry workers and Parents of the students that came to help with the defense. These are people that like things a certain way, that have been living with the statute of secrecy as their prime directive since the way they were born. Now they come in contact with worlds of magic that operate either intermixed with muggles or separate only in theory.

From here on out it is essentially HP wizards vs. the universe they arrived into. Trying to impose HP laws unto everyone. With battles between both sides following the same 'magic logic' principle.

I haven't decided which universe would suit this setup the best. Probably DF as on surface it would seem easy enough to get the vampires, werewolfs and all the other minor magical beings under their control, but there is depth to the DF canon that would allow to throw all kinds of wrenches into their plans. Or perhaps BtvS as that has a similar simplicity on the surface with beings of incredible power lurking behind the scenes.

 

Lawl, sure.

But don't forget to mention the devastatingly handsome devil that inspired you t-

...what do you mean, "Who?"